A Lone Ranger

in ASEAN HIVE COMMUNITY18 days ago (edited)

Hi! This is Diana and I'm new here. I’m your hyper-independent, nonchalant middle child.

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Ever since, I think I’m always given free rein of what I want to do with my life. I’ve never heard my parents say not to do this or not to do that and as a result, I have had few interesting experiences since I graduated high school. But I’m not a rebel or did terrible things or anything like that.
As an ambitious person, I worked my ass out in an eye clinic when I was a fresh high school graduate. I was able to help my family a bit, financially, because we were struggling because life happens. But after about 3 years, I returned home and went back to the start with depression and anxiety on the side.
At this time, I went to this training where I managed to sort out my issues, depression… mental health things. Then after the training, I decided to go on to college. Life’s pretty normal until, of course, 2020 happens. But even then, we all tried to adjust and everything seems okay again until May of 2021.
On May 19 of 2021, I was involved in a life- threatening vehicular accident. I spent 27 days in the hospital with a broken shoulder, multiple wounds, head trauma, a stitched scalp, a bashed forehead, even a black eye, and I’m literally black and blue all over. I have no words to describe the pain when I regained consciousness, three days after the accident.

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I had long hair before the accident but due to head injuries and the reek of dried blood in my hair, my mom just cut my hair however and it looked horrifying😆
I went home with a broken shoulder still because I was not given proper care with regards to that because they diagnosed me with Covid (which I believe is a total bull because my mom who cared for me shared my food and spoon and yet she didn’t have Covid). I begged my mom to let me go home because I can’t stand all the needles being punctured on my arms and hands and feet to draw blood, to insert the dextrose, etc.
Back at home, I got depression again and I was super suicidal. But thankfully I didn’t. Since 2021 was still the era of online classes, I had no trouble with school (I was in my 3rd year, first semester when the accident happened). My instructor said I just needed to pass all the projects given and she extended the deadline for me. With a broken shoulder, unhealed wounds, and a pretty bad, untreated concussion I decided to continue to the second semester. My depression got worse because my brain is not the same. I’m too forgetful and all the time, I take about 3-5 seconds before remembering a word and it’s pretty often that I can’t remember the word at all. It feels like I’m too dumb and I’ll be getting nowhere with this kind of brain.

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Back at school but was having terrible time due to post-concussion problems

But surprise! I worked on my thesis almost all by myself and even won Best Thesis when I graduated. But not without crying many nights while suffering with terrible, terrible head pain due to the concussion. I was still riding pretty good with my depression and anxiety the whole time yet after graduation, I decided to find work immediately so as to not have any downtime and entertain depressed, anxious thoughts.
And so, I worked in BPO. I thought I’ll be okay because I’ll be busy and I’ll have no time to think (I also worked as a copywriter for a private organization) but during this time my anxiety peaked so high and I was not able to sleep 36 hours straight. I think it was three instances that it happened. I knew I can’t go on with this awful mental state so I decided to resign after 6 months in BPO but I kept my copywriting work.

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Tried to keep it together at work but I can't help crying in the corner during break time😄

Right now, I’m chilling at home, looking back on all these dramatic and somehow amusing experiences. It's amuses me how I've always tried to brave through life and trauma all by myself and had been through much but I'm still the same nonchalant me. l Still have depression and a little anxiety but I can sleep now. Still not sure about where I’ll go from here or if my life won’t be as dramatic from here on. I guess the best I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. I’m also excited about sharing my thoughts here in Hive and finding communities as well for writers, introverts, and introspective people in general.

All photos are mine. Thank you for sparing your time reading this. Looking forward to hearing from you also.
-Dayana

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Welcome to the best web3 network ever, Diana. Have fun around here!

Thank you!! I definitely agree with Hive being the best web3 network. See you around😄

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Thank you so much for the badge! I'm excited for my journey here in Hive😃

You are welcome @dayanajoy! It is great to see you are taking your first steps on Hive! Great work!

Hello! Welcome to Hive! Happy reading and happy blogging!☺️

Thank youu. Looking forward to your blogs too😊

wow that is quite the challenge you went through, congratulations for not giving up and pulling through!!!

universe gave you this challenge, betting you would make it through and you did.

that puts you into an enormously powerful position, especially as a writer. hive will do you good and, i feel, you will enrich this place with your writing and life perspective.

welcome to hive diana!!

Thank you so much for your kind words @paradigmprospect . life did give me a lot to write about 😆. excited to know about you as well here in Hive😊

well check it out, it's all there to read

blessings

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Welcome to the Hive community @Dayanajoy!

Seven suggestions to consider:

  1. Guard your passwords carefully, and only publish with the posting key,
  2. Use your active key only for wallet transactions, Keychain, Peaklock, and Hivesigner,
  3. The master password and the owner key are only used to reset compromised passwords,
  4. DO NOT lose your password or keys; copy and store offline,
  5. Do not publish other people's work, be it photos or written, without credit, and be sure to source all of your work, even if it is your own.
  6. An introduceyourself tag is used only once , and
  7. DO NOT OPEN any links in memos or comments that you do not know who they belong to. If it sounds too good to be true it probably is, so the old saying goes. There is nothing free here.

Have fun and happy Hiving!

 17 days ago  
Thanks for posting in the ASEAN Hive Community.

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Hello! Welcome to Hive, @dayanajoy. I found you thanks to @heyhaveyamet 's introduction post.
You've come to a wonderful place where you can develop any interest you can think of. The limit is up to you!
The learning curve is steep at first, but ask any questions you have, read and observe.
You can find me most of the time in
Ecency's Discord server, my favourite frontend, or in The Terminal’s one.
Greetings from Spain. 🤗

Thank you so much @palomap3 . I appreciate your offer of help and I look forward to hearing from you as well here in Hive.

Welcome!

I’ve had my experiences with anxiety and depression. It’s tough but you’ll find your way through it and become even stronger along the way. You seem to be a strong one already 😊
Take care of yourself, don’t be afraid to look for help if you feel you need some.
Writing it out and turning it into art is a good thing too. Expression is the opposite of depression.

Great that you’ve found your way here!
All the best ❤️

Thank you for the warm welcome Ana🤗 I was actually having a hard time all this time because I try to repress everything through mindless social media scrolling. But then my phone broke and I've never felt more relieved. I only go online when I feel like opening my computer and it really helped. I can now take time writing down my thoughts instead of opening Instagram or Youtube.

I love love your thoughts as well. Thank you for all the replies. It feels like I've found a "mind friend"❤️