A little story about alcoholism in DaNang's expat community

in ASEAN HIVE COMMUNITY10 months ago

One thing that you will likely notice when visiting here or if you are fortunate enough to become a digital nomad or member of an expat community yourself is that there is a great deal of drinking in these communities. I realize that people drink all over the world no matter where they are in life, but I think that the drinking is a lot more common and frequent inside of expat communities, especially in cheap places like Vietnam.

The allure of less-than-$1 beers at virtually every pub is a tough one to resist and unfortunately for a lot of people that is all they seem to ever do. I know a few people that are actually quite annoying when they are constantly out and whenever I see them they are almost always extremely drunk.


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The above is a free-use stock image, I would never post a picture of someone I know passed out online.

I overindulge in the cheap suds as well but I keep things in check. Sometimes, believe it or not, I won't even go out drinking at all! I want to talk about a guy that I know who should probably go back to his country of origin before he destroys his own life because of booze. I'll just call him Mark even though that is not his name but he is an older fellow that decided to retire early in a cheaper country rather than work 10 more years in his home country for a full pension. I think if you can handle it, that this is a good option for a lot of people. So you don't get to live near your relatives but let's be honest, how often do you visit them anyway? Is it once a year? If so, maybe you could still do that while reducing your living expenses by half living overseas.

Anyway, Mark is in a relationship with a woman and has been with her for 30 years. When I first met them they seemed quite happy with one another but even though the pair have only been in Vietnam for a few months, they are for the first time in their lives on the outs with one another. I ran into Mark yesterday while I was out for a walk and the dude could barely stand upright. It was 2 o'clock in the afternoon. According the his ramblings he had been out for 2 days straight and hadn't been home because he had a, as he called it, a "falling out with the missus." I didn't stick around for long to listen to his ramblings because I don't really even know this guy all that well and he is telling me intimate details about his personal life. It made me uneasy so I created a reason why I needed to keep moving even though I was just out for a bit of exercise and maybe a chat with some friends if I encountered them.

A bit later on, I ran into his "missus" and she wasn't really even that upset. I told her I saw Mark and she just said "oh, he's out on another bender I guess."

I suppose I have a hard time relating to someone that would go out drinking that hard... for several days in a row without going to sleep. Maybe it's just because I am not an alcoholic so I don't understand how this is even possible, I mean, physically.

Mark has also taken to chatting up the local much younger women and this is not a great sign either. There are some women out there in the bar scene that actually prey on idiots like Mark and they are almost certainly not genuinely interested in a guy in his 60's who is drunk all the time... they just know that he is very malleable in his drunken state and would probably be open to parting with some of the money in his wallet, especially if there are offers of "companionship" involved, which while not entirely common in Vietnam, it is the oldest profession in the world and it is there if someone looks for it.

Mark could be heading towards throwing away all that he has spent decades in building all just because here in Vietnam, at least in the Da Nang portion of it, it is very easy to basically do whatever you want without ever getting in trouble with the law for it. If you were wandering down the street barely able to walk in the country I come from, you would get thrown in the drunk tank for a while in order to sober up. I have never heard of that happening to anyone here. You either fall down in a ditch, go home, get into a fight, and the police never get involved in it unless they absolutely must. I like this sort of freedom but I suspect that Mark is one of those people that will go completely off the rails unless he is kept in check by something. That "something" right now is his wife, and he was talking about ending things with her.

If he goes through with that I can only see his life getting much worse because she is the only thing preventing his life from becoming one long bender until he has burned through all of his money.

This is one of the dangers of living an expat life. Partying is just something that you can get away with doing every single day and there is very little standing in your way of doing so. I think most sensible people would be able to avoid having this happen to them but if you are prone to alcoholism, moving to a cheaper part of the world like this one is probably not a great long-term mission for you.

I'm concerned for Mark because he hasn't even been here very long and he already has a reputation of being that "annoying, always drunk Scottish guy." I've also noticed that whenever I see the guy he is either staggering around alone or with other like-minded people. If you surround yourself with people that have nothing going for them, it wont be long before you have nothing going for you as well. Unfortunately these sorts of people are very easy to find in any expat community.

Vietnam is a wonderful country and it is VERY cheap to live here. If you lack impulse control or are an alcoholic like Mark, I think that this place and many others like it could be extremely detrimental to your life. I hope Mark can pull through but honestly, I am not hopeful that this will actually happen.

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 10 months ago  

dude, same story here in Chiang Mai and every other expat-heavy area I have seen in this country. There are certain pubs that the same people are there every day, pissed as farts, starting from about noon onwards. I don't like to be affiliated with these people.

 10 months ago  

they can be a lot of fun sometimes but I kind of pity them when I sit with them for too long. Their only objective in life seems to be the absence of an objective. They are normally really good at pool though!

 9 months ago  

let's not forget that they are constantly moaning about how stupid locals are and how the government is mean to them. These are recurring themes at my local.

 9 months ago  

well, not many people here call the locals stupid but then again I really do live in a bubble. Our area is probably 80% foreigners and most of the people rarely leave the neighborhood.

 9 months ago  

I'm happy to hear that. I get irritated with how the longer term expats here seem to be talking about the same things over and over again about how the locals are dummies. They say this while most of them speak near none of the language so ask yourself, who are the real dummies?

 10 months ago  

One of the traps off Asia. Cheap booze and no real comeback on poor social conduct. Makes for a sad life for those ex-pats that fall into the routine of drinking all day just because they can.

 10 months ago  

With the people I know better and can ask why they do the same thing every day they normally will respond with 'what else am i supposed to do?'

I guess I can understand that but maybe find a hobby of some sort?

 10 months ago  
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I could guess as much especially with alcohol being so cheap. It depends on the person and I am no heavy drinker and only drink when I go out on special occasions. If you are retired and have nothing to occupy the time then I can see many falling into this trap.

 10 months ago  

I'm not a heavy drinker either. I do go nuts every now and then but for the most part I am a weekend warrior and even then sometimes I am just not feeling it and would rather be at home in the air con.