Mey-Yii, our neighbor girl and once frequent visitor, was blessed this year by two selfless Hivers who went above and beyond.
🎅🎅 A Little Christmas Love From Two Hivers 🎄
If you are an avid reader of my blog, chances are you've heard of Mey-Yii, a young girl near our house that is being raised by a cruel and careless grandmother. Time is not something this girl's guardian ever gives her, but Mey-Yii has free access to all the YouTube she can watch and a key to the family motorbike that she can ride anytime despite not being taught basic moto safety or being made to wear a helmet.
Evergreen And Everlasting Traditions (It's time to make the holidays bright for others)by: @wrestlingdesires |  |
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Weekly ED Posting Topic 48: ADVENT CALENDARby: @beeber |  |
One particular Hiver, @wrestlingdesires, knows her story well, and decided to designate me as a post beneficiary in order to use the funds to provide Mey-Yii with some Christmas love. Inspired by this gentleman's kind act, @beeber also created a post with me as the 100% beneficiary, all with the idea that I would use the funds to provide Mey-Yii with a few things she needs and a few things she doesn't.
Once the post rewards came in, I tallied up the total HBD and HP that I received, and this came out to roughly $11.10 to $11.20 USD depending on the ups and downs of HIVE at any given moment. Converted to local Cambodian currency, it is a total of 44,800៛. My wife recently joined my neighbor on a roadtrip, and used the opportunity to make a Binance withdrawal and do some shopping for Mey-Yii.
The Adventure Begins 🛻
I am not blessed with much freetime these days, so I never go on any road trips that aren't mandatory, so I put my wife in charge of the Mey-Yii mission. I had previously sat down with Mey-Yii and explained the situation, where the money came from, and why we wouldn't simply be giving her cash due to her grandmother's alcoholism and gambling addictions. I had Mey-Yii tell me some things she wanted, and I wrote them all down on a list to aid in efficient shopping.
In addition to this, we live in the middle of nowhere and there is nothing useful to buy here, and Mey-Yii would likely spend it on nutritionally bankrupt packaged mystery snacks from Vietnam that are sold here in the village, and whose wrappers dot the landscape. In Pramaoy, the town we used as a basecamp for many months, my wife was able to spend most of the money, but she felt rushed because our neighbor was doing this trip for business purposes and wanted to return quickly once he'd finished his objectives.
Most items were picked up at the local 2,500៛ Store, where everything costs roughly 62 cents if you're thinking in USD. @sakana and @srey-yuuu went on this trip and helped with some speedy shopping, and I received occasional pics from my wife updating me on the progress.
School supplies that she will need in a few weeks were a major priority, studies resuming around December 20th if I remember correctly. One item she really wanted was a plastic toy kitchen set, and they happen to find this, although this wasn't the usual 2,500៛ like everything else in the store.
After paying the bill, it was already time to head back home on the 1-hour+ return trip back to Steung Kach. I was a little bummed there was no time for veggie shopping because there are no markets near us and we only get to a few chances a month to purchase rare-in-the-village items like cauliflower, tofu, and other things that are quite common in more populated areas.
There wasn't an opportunity to spend all of the money on this trip, but we had planned to do some shopping at a later date in a more distant town where bigger items like clothes and shoes are much more affordable.
Mey-Yii Foiled Our Plans 🤐
When I heard a knock at the door, I opened it and discovered Mey-Yii had already heard of the roadtrip via village gossip and was awaiting their return at her estranged stepfather's house, and whose son-in-law was the driver of this trip. We had planned to give her the items at a later date, but it was clear she wasn't leaving without her stuff, so we decided to quickly document the items for a transparency post.
There was a pack of dry-erase markers, a pack of colored pencils, two hair elastics, a pencil-ruler-eraser set, a coloring book and crayons, and most of all her much wanted kitchen play set.
My wife mad quick work of documenting the items, a little car-sick from the trip, but in good spirits. Mey-Yii hasn't been hanging out with us for several months because her mom and stepdad that previously abandoned her are now staying with at her grandma's. The mother has never spoken a word to us or showed any thanks for all the efforts we have put into teaching her daughter basic manners, ethics, and personal hygiene.
Now that she has the key to a $3,000 motorbike and a constant full tank of gas, and unlimited access to smartphone screens, she prefers to joyride up and down the highway without her helmet rather than hang out at our place like before. We also know her trio of guardians have said lots of bad things about us, and we can only guess how much of this crap Mey-Yii believes.
In total 30,000៛ was spent, leaving 14,800៛ left over for another trip, potentially enough to get some new flip-flops or crocs. I sense she'll be frequently visiting us until she gets the rest of her stuff, then will likely stop coming around again as is the norm now.
I arranged a quick photo of her with her things, realizing she wasn't gonna be leaving the house until she got the items. As soon as I had documented everything with photo evidence, Mey-Yii left with her gifts in hand, no "thank you" or "goodbye," but because she doesn't come around anymore, we no longer put efforts into teaching her basic manners like this. We received no phone calls or visits from any of her guardians for sacrificing our monthly veggie run in order to buy Mey-Yii gifts.
They are a truly frustrating family, and I wish at the very least they'd instruct Mey-Yii to wear a helmet as she joyrides her oversized moto up and down the edge of the dangerous highway full of speeding gamblers who are often road-raging because of unsuccessful gambling trips. It was nice to see Mey-Yii again because it had been a couple months, and I'll be sure to post the details of our second shopping trip when it happens.
Thanks to @wrestlingdesires and @beeber for making this possible. Tt's quite clear Mey-Yii was excited to receive some surprises, and I can only hope she'll start coming around again one day when she realizes life is more than just being given enough money, a moto key, and smartphone to entertain oneself. We may not have the financial resources that her family has, but we have love, and still have a lot of it for her, and can only hope she'll realize this when she's a little older.
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This was originally a very happy event of gifting. Eventually the story unfolds as Mey-Yii can't wait to take her stuff and get outta here. I can only say one thing about how your family handling the "thanks but no thanks" situation since Christmas is all about give and sacrifice, ain't God gave Jesus?
On the side note, unlimited access to the gorilla moto can be rather reckless should anything happen to that innocent soul, the Moto owner are to be blamed for whatever happened to the authorized rider. Nevertheless, I certainly do not want anything bad happen to any of us, considering a kid just crashed into my car when she's going to school in a Moto yesterday.
You're right, it's a challenging situation, and although I don't need Mey-Yii's respect or acknowledgement for my own ego, I think it's important to learn that the inability to be humble will not serve her well in life, well at least beyond Cambodia's borders.
The moto is a 125cc Dream, more than capable of hitting 100 km/h. I tried to explain to her today that she needs to wear her helmet, especially because she has no defensive driving knowledge and no front brake knowledge. She told me she only drives short distances, so it's no problem, and I told her that the majority of moto crashes happen in the first few minutes of riding, and also at low speeds. She shrugged her shoulders and left the house with this knowledge. I don't know what it is culturally that causes this, but Cambodians often develop extreme confidence at an early age, almost always without the smarts to back up such confidence.
So sad! Her guardians may not be teaching her per se, but they certainly do have an influence on her! For this reason I also hope that she'll continue coming over, so you can add your own influence. That way she may realize the important things hopefully sooner than later.
As for the richness of your family, certainly love is an important part, but what I see just as present is responsibility. And in this story that is what comes to the forefront. So I really hope you can pass on lots of it to this girl.
Fingers crossed for success, she'll be a teenager soon and become very set in her ways. The mother moved here a few months ago after abandoning her for many years, and hasn't once spoke to us or even thanked us indirectly for all the time and effort we've spent on her daughter. We even fed her everyday for almost two months, but now I sense the mother and stepdad feel some shame about the past.
The problem is they are now showering her with money, motorbikes, and junk food in an effort to win her over, but they still haven't taught her any life lessons of any kind. It appears to be a path to negative outcomes, but I hope and pray things will improve.
Well, I can see how they would be ashamed, actually. And honestly, things would be a lot worse if they didn't! Still, that shame is only going so far.
As for showering the girl with presents, I believe it won't last forever either, and at some point she'll need to see for herself where she takes her lessons from. Until then you can just show her the same consistency and hope that she will seek out the important things under all that superficiality.
I agree, when I was a kid I was easily swayed with gifts and a lack of attention, but an awakening at the age of 14 years old made me realize many of the adults in my life that I thought were a**holes were actually trying to prevent me from becoming a spoiled brat and also teach me the value of hard work and responsibility.
... yes, and in the same way, many of the adults who shower one with gifts do so for reasons of short-term manipulation. But realizing this, and seeing the real value in people and things, is the hardest part. It's something everyone needs to do for themselves, and the best intended talks or actions can massively backfire if the young person is not receptive to them. Still, it's best to keep trying and hoping that at some point these seeds will germinate. Keeping the faith is also keeping the confidence in yourself as someone who can influence the young one's thinking into a better way.
What a delightful story and it warms my heart to hear about the two people who organized the fundraiser and your family is just so selfless. You guys are truly good people even when the recipient and her family don't really give anything back. Is it just a cultural thing that she doesn't say thanks and stops coming around or is her family just like this?
Haha, the rumor going around in the village is about how selfish we are, guess it's all in the eye of the beholder. My wife overheard Mey-Yii talking about her gifts in crowded room full of villagers, and she said the Frenchman gave it to her, and someone was quick to point out that the "Frenchman's web friends" donated these items to Mey-Yii, as if to poke a jab at us. Stuff like that doesn't bother me because what a random village of gambling addicts thinks of me has zero impact on my life trajectory.
However, this stuff affects my wife a lot, and it got her bent out of shape for a whole day. There are some manners in this country, but I find as a whole that decency and manners are not taught nor given by example from the parents. I have only ever hear a true "I am sorry" 3 times my whole life in Cambodia, and "thank you" is very rare outside of a business setting.
It took me several years to get used to the fact that you can say something to someone or ask a question, and that person can make zero eye contact and not answer, and often walk away without uttering a word. My wife occasionally does this, so I often say "THE END" or "TO BE CONTINUED.....," and then remember that Cambodia is a country on Earth despite it feeling like a strange new world.
You are setting a great example, much needed for a girl like her. Who knows what the effect will be in the long term, once she starts thinking for herself.
The kindness of people like you and many others on Hive, including the two who sponsored the gifts, is ever important.
Big hug!
I assume it will be tragic like stories often are in Cambodia. Most people only get a little self-awareness after a couple failed marriages and a few estranged children of their own. Usually when someone's already gone this far, alcohol becomes the tool to numb the brain from thinking about the past, then the cycle repeats itself. We humans are stubborn creatures.
It seems no amount of gifts or offers will entice to wear her helmet when she rides the moto, she's already decided it's not as dangerous as we say it is, and plus her parents don't wear their helmets for anything other than police safety inspection roadblocks. I hope her awakening, if it comes, comes when she's still young enough to easily change her ways.
It is good to see the gesture of generosity and help from these hivers, with the intention of giving something nice to Mey-Yii, she looks happy.
She was happy to receive these surprises, but her attitude with us has now changed, she now has the rebellious spirit of a teenager even though she's only a little kid. I hope for a bright future for her, but she seems quite happy to be left with plenty of money, a moto to ride, expensive snacks to eat all day, and absolutely no parental guidance whatsoever.
You all have a generous hearts. It's unfortunate that mey-yei grow up in that kind of family. I hope she'll realize the value of the people who truly cares for her.
There was a time when it seemed she understood that we genuinely cared for her and were always looking out for her best interests, but now she seems rebellious to our advice and is taking more and more after her grandmother and mother. I have to assume she'll be a gambling addict by her 18th birthday. So sad, she is showered with money by guardians far more financially wealthy than we could ever be, but she is always wearing dirty clothes, teeth unbrushed, and many other signs of neglect.
I was hoping it was a heartwarming ending but sadly not the case. But your generousity will surely go a long way. After all, real giving is not expecting anything in return.
I certainly didn't expect or need a thanks, but it was a good opportunity to teach her that not being thankful will probably not serve her well in life, but it seems she doesn't want to listen to us anymore.
I am glad for her. She is very lucky to have people in Hive care about while her grandma doesn't even care.
It's a shame she refuses to wear her moto helmet, seems she is taking after her parents now and not listening to us anymore.
I give thanks as always my fellow curators 🙏👊.
You're welcome! 👊:)
Blesses those Generous Hivers. It brings a lot of joy to others.
It is just a reminder of how much more awesome my Hive friends are that I've never met than some of my Facebook friends that I've personally known for 20+ years.
Maybe I could give also as soon as I have a great number of HBD in a little way, we can make a charity program under aseanhive.
That is nice of you but not necessary. Everyone here in the village has plenty of money, much more than my family, but they waste it on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, expensive foods, and other social vices. The thing the kids here need more than money is for someone to sit down with them and teach them about life, manners, respect, the value of hard work, etc.
Ah yes, we can't avoid that kind of situations. The children will be affected of wrong doings.
This is only my idea or opinion my friend.. ☺️✌️
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