Nooo! I am so sorry to hear this. This is especially sad when it has a duel/triple purpose in life. I think it affects your life in a bigger way. Plus he was way adorable. :( May the loss of little Merar be softened by time. Life can be so harsh.
The photo of the double bottle feeding is precious as is one of you weeding. In fact, all of them. Such a heartfelt piece of writing. ❤️
Love from me. It's all I have.