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I'm feeling a little bummed out right now, nothing to worry about, I'll get over it, but I felt the need to sit down and share it with you.
And it's because without realizing it in the last two hours I've surrounded myself with things that I can't ignore, despite being fiction, except the voice of the endearing Dolores O'Riordan, lead singer of Cranberries, whom I'm listening to right now; and she had one of those voices that are missed in a musical world as artificial as the one we live in today.
A while ago I finished watching the Spanish film 'Hogar', because it's one of those left to see in the film club that I created with some acquaintances last month. We will meet this Friday night virtually, like much of what we live today, except for the sorrows, which are very real.
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And the truth is that I couldn't watch the film in a row, because I hated it, especially the protagonist. Suffice it to say that it is a movie without a happy ending, in which the good guys lose, and the bad guys win... something like reality, maybe that's why it took me so long to watch it, and I only finished it after 4 attempts.
I have nothing against creative freedom and that the cinema portrays reality, but we already have enough with which we live so that when you want to relax watching a movie, it smears the unpleasant reality of this world in your face. For that, it is enough to open a newspaper, turn on the TV or watch the news on social networks, the famous fake news, which although they are false, show a very badass reality: we are increasingly screwed. Sorry for the negative tone, but that's what I'm thinking at the moment.
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The straw that broke the camel's back and made me sit down to write this is an excerpt from the book 'Broken Monsters' by Lauren Beukes. A pretty good book so far and one I'm really enjoying. She has made me laugh, reflect, has entertained me and has even given me ideas to write something. It is a story told in several voices, since the chapters are told by different characters, who while allowing you to understand the story, gradually reveal themselves to you.
The protagonists are varied. A detective and her daughter. A failing writer looking for a new opportunity and his new girlfriend, a DJ with diabetes. An artist in his last years, with health problems, and a homeless man who invades abandoned houses to sell whatever he finds that might be useful. And it is a paragraph of a chapter told by this character that made me think. One in which he goes to visit his mother who died 40 years ago. I transcribe it below:
Sometimes it seems like I'm carrying the whole world on my back, you know? I suppose not. You were a fucking whore who cared for nothing but herself. But you don't stop being my mother. I've never loved and hated someone so much at the same time, Mom.
It seems to me a forceful paragraph that reflects much of human nature, and those sorrows that we all carry inside. Those sorrows that never stop hurting. Those affections from which we cannot run away even if we want to.
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The book has everything so far. As I mentioned before, it also made me laugh quite a bit. Maybe that's why I'm liking it so much, because it has the balance that the movie I just saw doesn't have, and no matter how hard I try, I can't find any positive message.
Lauren Beukes's book shows us many sides of who we are, thanks largely to the fact that it does not focus on a single character, but on several, and shows us little by little the different facets of these, who, like us, have their dark side and its light side, its happy side and its somewhat fatalistic side, like me at the moment, when I am in a darker mood than usual. But I'll do a full review of the book when I finish it, it deserves it, at least so far.
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I hope I haven't bored you with my release this afternoon of movies, books and music. I'll change my book and music to raise my spirits again. Maybe I'll continue my reading of 'Dune', by Frank Herbert while I listen to some soft jazz, or put an episode of a comedy on Netflix, that always works for the emotional sponge that I carry inside and on days like this it gets suddenly in receptive mode.
If you identify with something that I have expressed, I would very much like to read it in the comments. Hopefully some of you are encouraged to share something. Thanks for reading me and see you soon.
©bonzopoe, 2022.
Thank you very much for reading this post and dedicating a moment of your time. Until next time and remember to leave a comment.
