Personal blog: "Recriminating oneself is absurd", by bonzopoe

in GEMS2 years ago

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A few days ago I broke again a routine that I have been trying to get to adopt because I have seen that it does me a lot of good. And although I am struggling a bit with it, I will surely be able to integrate it into my day to day sooner rather than later. The fact is that one of those days when I broke it, the morning flew by and suddenly without realizing it it was lunchtime and I had practically not done anything useful during the day.

At another time one of two things would have happened. Either I would evade giving the day for lost, and I would say to myself: "tomorrow will be another day and it will be totally different from this, you will see, but this has already happened", or I would reproach myself for the fact and boycott myself the rest of the day for having wasted the morning uselessly.


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However on this occasion, I suppose that because I have been working on my resilience, I did not react in that way, but I was extremely practical: I evaluated the earrings I had for that day, the time I had to do them, and still without knowing if I would be able to finish them, I got on with them and without recriminations in between I got to work.

I managed to finish them all and have some free time at the end, and it was then that I took a few moments to reflect on what happened.

I realized that not wasting time berating myself for the hours I had lost allowed me to make better use of the time I still had, and that not demanding anything from me and being practical, and getting to work, did not negatively affect my mood, which was very important not to slow down and be able to finish everything he had to do.


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The truth at the end of the day I felt very good about myself for how I handled the situation, and I realized that recriminating oneself is absurd .

Recriminating basically consists of claiming oneself for the things that one does wrong, for which one does not do ... in general for their failures and mistakes, which sometimes leads us to insult ourselves, or what is worse , belittling our abilities, with the consequent discouragement that this may imply.

And how we treat ourselves is important. We may not be able to control how others treat us or see us, but if we can control how we treat ourselves and see ourselves, and if we do it in a negative way, it does not matter if everyone sees us with good eyes and holds us in good concept, to a lesser or greater degree we will be unhappy.


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The reality is that the only person we will always be able to count on is ourselves, and if we mistreat ourselves instead of treating ourselves well, if we belittle and disqualify ourselves instead of encouraging and stimulating us to grow, I think we are in a problem.

Recriminating things degrades us, lowers our morale, discourages us, and can even depress us. There is no more important and potentially more devastating opinion than we have of ourselves. So I think it's important to stop being so hard on ourselves and focus more on motivating ourselves and being resilient, instead of berating ourselves every time we make a mistake, which does not mean ignoring them, but not flagellating ourselves for it.


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Let's stop calling ourselves idiots or fools every time we have mistakes as small as forgetting something at home, stumbling, getting confused when writing our password, etc., not to mention bigger mistakes.

Lamenting and flogging does not solve anything, acting does. How we treat ourselves is important, so let's stop berating ourselves and be more patient, more persistent, and above all, kinder to ourselves.


©bonzopoe, 2021.

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