I'm sometimes baffled by this western ideation of "simple life" and living in harmony with others. That's why there's the proliferation of moving to other worlds, joining the new age booboos, and forming these spiritual communities and such. I mean, I get it. I was once an idealist too. It was one of the reasons I moved to this island in the first place. To live that ideal life of living in nature, helping others, and being part of a good community. That ideal life of not snubbing each other and caring enough to know thy neighbors' names.
Then bam! 4 years later I turned into a red-pilled realist (for the lack of an appropriate term for this newfound diabolic-ness). I guess that so-called "lived experiences" do change you in many ways you can't imagine. My Gawd, I couldn't even imagine myself talking this way years ago. I used to be the champion of the masses. Advocate of everything right. A warrior. I guess radically changing your environment can have a massive impact on your overall perspective of the world and the humans in it.
Don't get me wrong, I already started off in this blogging community as a self-confessed misanthropic being. But you might be surprised that I'm actually a polite and sweet person. Nobody's born diabolic hey! Or perhaps it's just the pseudonym doing the trick. Or perhaps it's just my inner darkness coming out on a safe space. I have to have my own online persona since I don't trust the internet enough not to cancel me or ruin my life.
I guess it's just my distrust in the collective and all the evil things people can do as a group. The island taught me over the years that if everyone suffers, I should suffer too. If I progress in life, I should be pulled down by the other "crabs in the bucket". And if I made it to the top, I should help others too - unconditionally. Isn't it crazy that people still expect you to help them even after being treated with hostility? All because of their selfishness hiding behind "niceness and humility". This is how I became an unapologetic individualist. I will no longer be modest about who I really am, and I will no longer lower my standards for other people just to belong and get along with others.
If you have good starting conditions in life, meaning, you're well-pampered and sheltered, have good moral support, then it's pretty understandable if you always see the world through rose-colored glasses. You're high on positive emotions and generally a pleasant person to be with since you were not exposed to the harshness and wildness of humans early on. And then suddenly you decide to get out of your comfort zone, evil after evil experiences, you start seeing the harsh reality of human nature. Now all you have is the burden of freewill to see the good in this world despite the circumstances. Because if you don't, then here goes the collective again judging you for being such a diabolic basher of the all-too-blissful and all-too-comfortable. You can choose not to resort to being a gangsta however justified. Responsible freedom is hard.
I remember all too well how tourists come and say to me, oh we like it here people are so nice. But deep down, I just want to say that most of them are just being polite. Aren't we all here? It's better not to know what's being talked about behind our backs. I do have other friends from other parts of the world I've gotten to know personally through my travels, but there's still nothing like being with my own tribe. Why? Because it's easier to be myself and talk about things that I can't talk about with others especially in this day and age. Anything I say will be used against me. It's easy for me to bring my darkness to the table without being judged as racist, jealous, or hater. And with them, I don't have to be pretentiously tolerant and live up to the political correctness expectations of the world. I don't underestimate my ability to say the wrong things to people.
This whole liberal mindset of equality is pretty absurd to me. We can be polite and civil to each other but that won't change our innate perceptions about others. I've come to a conclusion that there's no such thing as a truly open-minded person. We all have our own preferences, likes and dislikes. And thanks to my travels, I was made aware of that quickly and completely. And this is why we have this sense of safe belongingness to a certain group. I highly doubt you have that mental capacity to even like everyone from all walks of life or from all parts of the world. It's even more pretentious to say that everyone is your people. Let's get real here.
The same reason how the expats, having moved to this island, probably to avoid their own taxes and live comfortably cheap, stick to their own tribes too (other expats/foreigners). Whatever they say or however tolerant and open they are of other cultures as they seem to be, human nature of belonging and preference are a given. Because I do get it, they are not on the same wavelength or do not operate on the same mindset as the locals. For sure they don't want their kids to just grow up only talking about fish in the market and other simple things. They want them to grow up as modern individuals who can reach their highest potential. It is not evil and selfish to aspire for better things in life. So early on, they want their kids to have a proper tribe or social life in order to thrive and not just survive in this world.
We all have our own biases and preconceived judgments. It's in our nature. When someone suddenly sees a person not belonging to his or her group, the Amygdala part of the brain is automatically activated. Red alert, enemy or not? Victim or not? I'm also bewildered by how people on social media force you to change your mindset overnight. Let's say if you see yourself as a hero, then I'll factor in your environment and cultural programming to your thinking. If all you've learned in school was "people did this to you, people did this to others", then that's likely going to be your mindset as an adult. I can attribute that mentality to the social conditioning, environment and overall bad start (children's books, propagand-ish history books, etc). Unless you have total control of these, then you can't just easily change how people see themselves or see you. Because maybe, there really is an unforeseen force that is totally in control of perpetuating this mindset after all.
So yeah, let's not demonize finding your own tribe or preferred group or being misanthropic or simply being yourself. Let's not force this equality in this world because given our conditioning and environmental programming, we are still too far-fetched from it. Contrary to that popular secret-ish belief that everything is within your control, well it is not. There is only so much you can do to change the state of the world and other people's way of thinking. And if you don't have good starting conditions and advantages, then social mobility is hard too, even if you work your a$$ off to death. Some things will never ever going to be easy for some people. Some things are just beyond our control.
I guess my island life has taught me to appreciate the friends that I already have and not force new people into my life - especially those who are not within my tribe or preferences. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with this. I value my inner peace now. I also learned that the way you see things are bound to shift radically if you change your environment and the people you surround yourself with. And that what you believe in right now is not your final belief yet.
There is definitely some crazy manipulation of the younger generations. There’s always been manipulation but it’s especially brutal lately with schools and the horse shit they are forcing down people’s throats and not telling the parents. Performing medical procedures in class without the parents consent or knowledge! Fucking atrocious.
It’s important to have a fair bit of realism to ones perspective. I’m trying to look for the good in people as often as I can but I know the assholes when I see them and don’t give them the time of day. It’s challenging to be but we have to shelter ourselves as best we can as a natural defense mechanism.
Crazy how it has come down to this!
I agree but it is also important to develop a good judgment of people over time so we don't waste our precious mental energy on them.
Yeah for sure lol. We’ve cut out the cancers in our lives that waste our mental energy and it’s a great feeling!
It is always the best to "Be yourself all the time" you could never please everyone..live by your rules as long you are not harming anyone..its a sad reality that people love to see the negatives that sometimes push someone to change differently..and true, we should never level down to the standard of those who are doing bad thing against us because we know our worth and value..have a blessed day!❤🌷
#dreemer
Truth!
Thanks for reading my blog! 😊
My friend... you are deep.... maybe dark...definitely diabolical. When I read your blogs I think myself back in my teens. That said... there is so much sense in what you write here.
Anything I say will be used against me. It's easy for me to bring my darkness to the table without being judged as racist, jealous, or hater. And with them, I don't have to be pretentiously tolerant and live up to the political correctness expectations of the world. I don't underestimate my ability to say the wrong things to people.
This is a gem!! You see, without social media this was always the way it was. You may alienate one friend or person... or would start intense debate... and that was that. No cancel culture... no debasement fro a myriad of strangers who dont know you from Adam. {sigh}
dysfunctional free spirit, lonesome wanderer, nomad. Follow my adventures and misadventures! .......Nuff said!!!
Aww 😊 I really appreciate that someone appreciates what I write here however diabolical sometimes lol.
Let's go back to the time where can be real to each other.
God damnit diabolika I lapped up every last moment of this piece and enjoyed it so much.
This is essentially how I see this world. There are certain people in this world that when I see (not talk to, see) it sets off an alarm in my head. I know this to be cultural programming and also quite a bit of what you stated in your article -- someone that doesn't look like me.
I think everyone is like this. Of course some more than others but I think everyone to a certain extent rushes off into a mini version of flight or fight when they see people that are different to them.
How they react to that stimuli is the difference. like, we can all be polite and treat people with a certain base level of respect but it doesn't mean that I have to actively pander to them. My people are my people. That's why expat communities are a thing, yes.
This crazy equity thing that's sweeping the world seems utterly insane to me.
And now I'm also intrigued. Here it is the "white people" that are the oppressors and that are fundamentally racist, and you mention a lot of what we seem to be experiencing over here too.
It seems from what I am reading in your piece that you are being called a "racist." - what are the terms for being a racist where you live because I have always seen you as a someone with an olive Spanish complexion.
Here a Black person cannot be a racist because they are systemically oppressed. And a white person cannot not be racist.
P.S. You still need to tell me where you are from :P
When I was still living in this touristic beach town, I had some a$$hole young German neighbors who tormented me lol. They will drink, bring a bunch of their friends, talk and play music loudly at 2am. There's only a thin concrete wall that separates our apartments, the structure is pretty shitty I could easily hear them. The situation couldn't be resolved by simple communication and agreement anymore. I get it, they are pretty young and insensitive.
I guess the time finally came when I've had it. I got into a fight with these guys (lol) and called them a bunch of things (I was already mad and pushed to my limits). I used their atrocities to mankind as my bullet at the time lol. Anyway, long story short, they started spreading shit about me in the town and them becoming the victim instead. And for all that I said against them, I was deemed racist lol.
So I guess racism has really nothing to do with a particular color. It's just pretty much being hostile to another race. Or attacking people based on their race.
Anyway I left the town . People do have their ways to provoke you and when you finally flip, you become the bad person.
Yeah, I'm with you on the racism definition. That's what it is to me. But this seems to be getting redefined over here to suit a certain narrative.
Sorry you had to go through that. I've been lucky over the last 12 years. All of our neighbours have been gentle old people.
Now my life is better. All working, peaceful, and private neighbors. No hippies, drunk traveling youngsters disrespecting our space.
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