My love for freedom, thirst for adventure, passion for knowledge and the quest for the truth that is different from the warped conditioning of my background and society sent me on a certain path of discovery in attempt to break out of the mental barricade of the failed and corrupt belief system and standards that other humans have created for themselves serving their own personal truths, purpose and enlightenment at the point in time.
My teenage age was very much filled with confusion and lonliness because of the many questions I had with no one to answer, what seemed right in my genetic coding was dumb in the warped twisted corrupted version of the society's eat or be eaten standard and I couldn't just take it.
I was 11 years old when my mother died, Doctors said she had a cancer, then they later said the cancer had vanished, then they later said they didn't know what she had, those incompetent products of a failed society, who can blame them! Or whatever!Her friends and extended families brought in myriads of traditional herbalists to help release her said spirit from the clench of death, I was barely 12 years of age, non of it made sense to me, they said I was too young to understand,...
Before she passed, sometimes she would lash out in the middle of the night screaming in pain that "they should leave her!",...in my head, I'm like. OMg!!! they who? """"Blood of Jesus, Blood of Jesus"""" was my go to chant, with my heartbeat racing faster than a ferrari even though I couldn't see anybody or anything holding her, I would be shivering with fear, it was even worse when there was no light/power in the house, the only ray of light that shone was from the lit candle stick glowing faintly across the room, it happened almost every night, the one it didn't was a miracle, I dreaded the nights, no one looked forward to mornings as much as I did. I lived a true horror story for more than 3years, drinking "hopium" that a miracle will come.
At some point I even watched her pass out from sudden pain in the middle of one night, I cried my eyes out, ofcourse we were the only ones living around, our house was located deep in the government reserved area due to my fathers occupation, there were no people for miles away, there weren't even phones then, maybe landlines, but they as hell weren't working.
Then sometimes when God heard me, she'll regain consciousness a few hours after, taking innocent glances at me like she's been gone for a couple of days, asking me why I was crying,....this was a frequent routine.
You can imagine the trauma. It was hard enough to relate with, I couldn't tell my friends in school, rather I was the class clown, making everyone laugh their asses off, not knowing how much tears and terror were hidden behind my own laughter.
So they killed several chickens every full moon, sprinkling blood at every corner of the house and making chants I was 'too young to understand', sometimes I wondered why the gods won't hear my mothers cry, oh she had Pastors too, who kept us fasting for days and nights or even living on fruits for weeks, but she died anyway, a very painful death. Who am I to question God. So many fucking questions...
It tore my father apart, heck, she was the mother and father when he wasn't around and even most times when he was, 90% of fathers in the military lack parenting skills, it tore us all apart, a major blow, she seemed to be like the invicible chord that tied us together, gradually everyone began moving out, pursuing one profession or the other. It was easy to cover the mess up with "growth", growth is not when the family is torn apart. No.
My first exposure to the real world was when I got into high school, military high school, we were trained to take pain, 'it is part of academics' we were told, we were beaten very well, till we began to get used to it, it showed strength, like I began to like further maths, and Chemistry, and breaking rules and getting hurt and getting unruly knowing we were "only" going to be beaten again, moreover, 'it is part of the academics'. The deeper I got into the society the more I saw how the society perceived or changed the whole meaning of "survival of the fittest".
Screwed screwed screwed, the society, the standards, basis of morale, everything was screwed, where was love? Where was justice? Where was service? Where was the truth! In taking a stand not to conform and to fulfil my ordained purpose and understand why many people don't understand me,
why I am the way I am, 10x more "weird" than you think, why is it that this moment I want to be with people and the next I don't want anyone around me, why do I get so drained, why I can be so comfortable with an Hermit life while still craving for people presence, what was life,? What was I? Discovering my passion, why can I guide so passionately? What should I guide? What do I fucking know? Why am I so in touch with nature, why do I love the way I love, why do I feel odd amongst everybody, why does it seem like I'm witnessing....so many fuvking questions...
I found myself on the road to experimenting Human design, and to begin to explain the aha and wow moments I've experienced from then has been beyond amazing, it goes beyond the wows and aha moments actually, the levels of discovery of answers and discovery of a whole new world confirming my inner identity have been more than enligthening,......
like hey,....I can actually find myself some meaning, hmm, nice! Wow!
I feel powerful when I'm invited to do stuff, there is this energy in me that turns on turbo mode and I begin to see things in a way that is as clear as Sherlock holmes visions and I feel I can do anything, I found myself applying this technique as soon as I recognized it way back in University, my friends queued up at my room to teach them stuff from a class we both did not attend, rather than from one of the first class students who sat in front of the lecturer and knew everything, because, I could teach them better.
The result of this was that I got to teach a lot of party hard head dumb people like myself and it helped me in understanding those topics more as it also helped them, because I had to create the partyhard head dumb people way for us.
It covers a whole lot of aspects too, is it in relationship advice? Real life situations? Something involving a major decision, My mum recognized this genetic design from a very young age and tapped into it often, we had many intimate conversations where she asked me for guidance about situations that were far ahead of my comprehension but I was somehow able to bring about a solution that fit, I felt in power.
Its like I immediately begin to activate some vibrations that puts me in turbo mode and I see things as clear as crystal in a magnified version of understanding.
I always feel I have so much to give, that I know so much but if you don't recognize me okay, I'd be on my own then, its extremely unintentional, because, whenever I try to initiate I turn to a total mess, I can be very bitter, frustrated when I'm not allowed to flex my capacity, why? How am I like this, how do I handle not being recognized? Why am I so hot now and cold later? Misunderstood...finding Human design showed me that there was a meaning to it all. Every vibe, every energy, every emotion,...its all encoded within our DNA.
This is the diagrammatic representation to the answers to a ton of those questions. Everybody is a unique soul, and as such vibrates with unique soulful energy. Through Human Design it is possible to decode this energy, understand it and with understanding brings mastery, with mastery comes control of the self which leads to that point when the wave of vibration of the soul is in resonance with the physical body. Whereby man ascends into his full God form in the spirit and performs macro miracles as I described in first post I wrote about Human design.
Maybe all this is only a junction in the grand scheme of things and the experiences of this enlightening journey are but a tip of the ice berg of what I'm yet to discover, playing its own role in connecting the dots that will open my mind to something more meaningful and powerful than I presently understand capable of lifting me above the spectrum of horrors of my present societal conditioning.
Or perhaps I'm wrong and I'm only exercising my mind, what are imaginations for if we don't use them, I'm having a fun adventure in discovering a system and exploring my nature while documenting my journey to maybe inspire someone somewhere somehow, that may have at one point or the other felt lost often times like myself, that there is love, service, purity, hope, power and magic within us only if we can discover it.
What I know about my Human design is still only about only 0.8%, lets see how the journey goes.
So this post is a second part to what will be a series concerning this journey, what are experiences if we don't share them?
Thank you for reading!
You touched me with some part of the story. At 12, it wouldn't be easy to deal with all those stuff. When I tried imagining the journey, my imaginary sense became distorted. That was too bogus for my head to carry. I'm sorry about your mum.
I'm glad you were able to reach out to opportunities that made you discover your true potential.
Another part that interests me is the military handling that reset your medulla and gave you the capacity to see the world from different perspectives.
Yeah! That's it. life is a journey. We all travel through different routes, and we survive through different means. Much lesson bro. E NO EASY.
Lool gbas gbos....
Washere brodaly, God bless
Brother, I felt your pain, now it is in the past. Who is to blame for our society misfortune? Wickedness in high places. Almost every sectors is lagging behind. All we can do is to invest in ourselves and find power through unceasing desire for knowledge and wisdom.
Oshey bro...bless!!!
#Posh
Man, that's a rough ride.
&
Awesome. 😎
LOL.
So cool to see/hear you extract these, such, potent insights - delivering them so wonderfully articulated, so quickly into your experiment.
Much looking forward to you blossoming throughout your journey. I have a strong feeling I'll be continually blown away by what more you have to share, the deeper you go... 🙏💖🙏
a few more Projector quotes for you:
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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