One of the inevitable aspects of life is crossing paths with people who will play significant roles for a time, only to gradually fade into memories as circumstances change.
If I remember correctly, there's this somewhat popular metaphor of viewing life as a train ride.
Many people will hop on and off the train. Some may stay longer but eventually everyone hops off the train, including yourself.
I think the point of this metaphor is to highlight the temporary nature of all connections, but it could also be interpreted as a reminder to cherish the journey with each passenger while they're aboard rather than lamenting their departure.
In hindsight, it's easier to pinpoint the exact moment or series of moments that lead to the breakdown and eventually, an end to a friendship or relationship, generally.
A TV Show
One of the best approaches on hindsight povs is seeing your life as if you're watching a movie that you're not particularly attached to.
At least, the truthfulness of the past experience isn't overshadowed anymore by emotional bias or nostalgic distortions.
There's quite a few possibilities that have created the end of a friendship. Some of them include:
- A shift on shared values and principles.
- Chasing different goals, walking on different life paths.
- Time and distance creating insurmountable gaps in understanding.
- Growing at different rates, leaving one unable to relate to the other.
Sometimes, I do question whether it's stubbornness or denial to still hold onto relationships when the signal is overwhelmingly clear that it is time to move on.
Normally, change happens gradually, then suddenly. But the sudden-ness isn't evident to the unobservant eyes until all the pieces of the puzzle are finally revealed in their entirety.
For me, it's not the want or need for an end to relationships that's troubling.
It's the afterthought of the process and wondering whether things could have been different.
The passing of time brings with it interesting surprises. One of them being parting ways with someone you thought wasn't essential to your story, only to later realize he/she was.
I prefer doing things clear-cut, life doesn't give me that opportunity, for the most part.
Alien Visit
Against the backdrop of change in values and principles, a friend can quite quickly turn into a stranger. Maybe an alien of sorts that you couldn't really recognize anymore, despite sharing years of memories!
There's freedom in accepting that some relationships have served their purpose in your journey.
Change against normality often requires courage. Society tends to romanticize lifelong friendships, making us feel like failures when relationships naturally conclude.
In reality, a healthier perspective is seeing each relationship as having its own lifespan, as as that may sound.
How is it that not all goodbyes need to be spoken?
It's not really clear to me that the kindest conclusion is a silent recognition that your roads have forked, with gratitude for the distance traveled together and acceptance that different horizons now call.
This is coming from the backdrop of preferring clear-cut encounters. Silent recognition leaves much to be desired or left to chance to fill in the gaps.
But then I remembered quite a few people who've left the Earth without saying goodbye. Life didn't give them that chance.
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