Lost but not forgotten - Farewel, my friend

Life can be hard, but can it be so hard that you cannot see any exit? Can you not see hope for the future?
A few months ago, my childhood friend took his life. We knew he had many struggles, he was schizophrenic, but his pills helped him. We talked half a year ago, and he told me he was okay, but words are one thing and the feelings you're hiding are another. He was 32.
And then a few days ago, another friend took his life. Nobody suspected, nobody could know. And now the question remains, why did you do that? Why? You were young, always happy, your energy always made me smile, you were always so kind 😔 You can have thousands and thousands of friends, but you still can be so alone. One day you were at a party, and in the morning we heard the news. You didn't leave any note, you didn't say anything... You were 42, you had a whole life before you... I still can't believe this happened...
We said our goodbyes on Saturday. First, they took his urn, and 37 cars drove him one last time through his hometown and to the football station because he was a big fan of his hometown club. The funeral was so emotional, and when I saw so many people, I just couldn't believe how he could feel so alone. We will never know the answer.
This made me think hard, and I know people have struggles, me also, and I can keep my eyes closed and deny, but I'm in pain sometimes. And then this happens. I can read many stories daily, and I sympathize with them, but when that happens to someone you know, your feelings are different, they are real. It hits hard.
How could this happen?

This year I lost two friends. I don't want that to happen again. I just... no... please, if you have any struggles, just talk to people. If you feel you have nobody, believe me, there is always someone there for you. Professional help is nothing bad; we just need to learn how to live with our problems. Suicide is not the solution. You are leaving people behind who will mourn you their whole life. Every memory feels like a stab in the heart because we didn't see the pain he was hiding. It's like a never-ending ache, wondering why and wishing we could have helped.

Losing friends to suicide made me realize how important it is to be there for each other. If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know that you're not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help. Talk to someone you trust, a friend, a family member, or a professional. Don't keep it inside. You're not a burden, and your life matters. There is hope, even when it feels like there isn't.

Goodbye, my friend. I wish I had known how much you were hurting. We will miss your smile, your laughter... I hope you've found peace now, even though our heart is shattered. We will never forget you. Goodbye, until we meet again.

najtibolahkaprekmurskazemlja

With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️