Oh, for f—! (Okay, let’s keep it family-friendly.) Spring is here! The flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, and nature is waking up. Beautiful, right? WRONG. Because along with all that comes the invasion of insects, ticks, and of course... the ant queen herself!
First victim? My dog. The poor thing went outside for five minutes and came back with uninvited passengers...ticks. But lucky for us, I spotted the creepy little freeloaders crawling on her fur before they could settle in for a blood buffet. Every year, we put tick repellent on her, but I thought, "Nah, it’s too early for that."WRONG. They were already fully operational, like tiny vampires on steroids. So, emergency tick treatment—applied! Ticks—gone! We win. Well... kinda. They technically scored first by showing up, so I guess it's Ticks 1 – Me 1.
Now, let me tell you about where I live. Picture this: forests, meadows, trees. Sounds peaceful, right? HA! It’s a five-star resort for mosquitoes, ants, and whatever else nature decides to throw at me. Surprisingly, mosquitoes don't bother us much here. Maybe Austria is secretly spraying the air with mosquito repellent. No complaints!
We also have tiny lizards hanging around. But they’re cool. They sunbathe on my balcony, vibe with me, and mind their own business. I even considered giving them names. But ants? Oh no, ants do NOT respect personal space.
One year, when we lived on the top floor, I noticed two tiny ants on the balcony. "No big deal," I thought. BIG MISTAKE. Next thing I knew, they were building a freaking highway from my balcony to my kitchen. Floor-to-wall traffic, like they had just signed a 99-year lease. And I was like, "Excuse me?! You couldn't find another apartment? I live on the TOP FLOOR, how did you even get here?!"But a couple of ant traps later...boom, problem solved for a year.
Fast forward to today. New apartment, ground floor, with a garden. Did I think about the ants coming back? Nope. Did I prepare? Nope. I was living my life, carefree and clueless, until...
Yesterday morning. Half asleep, I stumble into the bathroom. Sit down. Look at the floor. And there they are. ANTS. EVERYWHERE.
Did I react like a calm, rational adult? Absolutely not. I screamed like I just saw a horror movie monster, woke up my husband in full panic mode. He ran in like, "What?! What happened?! Are you dying?!"
Me: "LOOK. AT. THE. FLOOR."
Him: "Oh. Yeah. The ants are back. The lady who lived here before warned us about this, remember?"
Me: "YES, BUT NOT YET!!! WHY NOW?! WHY HERE?! WHY ME?!"
So off we went, buying all the ant traps in existence. By evening, most of them were gone. Victory? Not so fast. Woke up today and...guess what? New ant highway. In the living room. I swear, these guys work faster than construction companies. So, more ant traps everywhere, because at this point, I’m terrified they’ll carry me away in my sleep. (My husband, ever the comedian, told me if I scream like that again, they just might. Pfft.)
Now, here’s the thing. A while ago, I started watching this guy on YouTube who keeps ants in a terrarium and studies them. And honestly? I was impressed. These tiny dudes are basically running their own ant civilization.
Let me tell you something about them.
Alright, imagine if ants had little tiny smartphones and tiny laptops...they’d probably be running the world by now! These little geniuses may be small, but their brains are like tiny supercomputers. Here’s why ants are secretly tiny geniuses in disguise:
They have built-in GPS
Ants don’t get lost. Ever. They can walk miles away from their nest and still find their way back home...without Google Maps! Some ants even leave a trail of smell, so others can follow the route….wow…
They farm like tiny ranchers
Some ants keep aphids (tiny bugs) like farmers keep cows. They “milk” them for a sweet liquid called honeydew. So yeah, ants invented farming way before humans did. 😂
They build underground cities
Ant nests are like underground hotels with tunnels, rooms, and food storage. Some colonies even have millions of ants, working together like a construction crew that never sleeps.
They can carry heavy weights like tiny bodybuilders 💪
An ant can carry 50 times its own body weight! ( You see, they can take me away!!) That’s like you carrying a whole car on your back. Some ants even team up and carry big things together, like moving a giant pizza slice back to their nest. (Pizza party for the queen!)
They have a WiFi-like communication system
No phones, no emails, no group chats...just good old-fashioned pheromones and antennae wiggling. They can warn each other about danger, tell others where the good food is, and even plan sneak attacks on other colonies!
They go to war like tiny gladiators
Ants don’t mess around when it comes to territory. Some species form massive armies and battle each other like medieval knights. There are even “zombie ants” infected by a fungus that controls their minds (okay, that one’s more creepy than funny).
They have firefighter ants & Doctor ants
Some ants take care of the wounded in battle, cleaning their wounds and helping them heal—tiny battlefield doctors! Others act like firefighters, rushing to fix any damage in their nest if something collapses.
So yeah, ants are basically tiny, hard-working, super-strong, highly organized, and incredibly smart creatures. If they ever decide to take over the world, we’re doomed. 😂
And yet... I’m still killing them. I feel kinda bad. But also, I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS.
Sorry, ants. You’re smart, but this is my house.
“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn." – Hal Borland
With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️
Suffice it to say I purchase those ant traps in bulk! They're amazing little fellas alright but gawd almighty, does there have to be so many of the little blighters?
They will rule the world! 😂 In my old apartment, they were only in one place. Now, they are in every single room. 😒 I hope they won't find a way into my bedroom…then I'm doomed! 😂
Hahahahaha... I had a good laugh reading your "ant story"... 😃
I have a friend who had similar issues in her kitchen, but her first step isn't to kill them, but rather try to "talk them out" from the kitchen... So, when first had a talk with ants trying to convince them to peacefully leave her space... The second step was slowly trying to lure them out by feeding them toward the garden... And when all other options don't work, well, your recipe usually works... 🙂
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Haha, so I'm not the only one talking to them! 😂 Believe me, this was my first step. However, maybe because I wasn't speaking to them in a nice, peaceful voice, they didn't go away. 😂 I can't lure them outside because my dog is lying everywhere, and I already saw them crawling on her. I mean, really?! They weren't just going around her… they were going over her! 😂 So, unfortunately, I have no other option than to let them stay in their little house. I believe…actually, avoiding the truth, that they will die there, but I prefer to think of it as their new castle! 😂
We have a snakepocalypse currently as the little babies are hatching, especially the Eastern Brown Snake hatchlings...it's a dangerous snake as an adult, 6.5 feet long and deadly, but the hatchlings (just as venomous) don't know how much venom to inject in a bite so often they put too much in...not good for the poor bastard who got bitten that's for sure.
Because of the very dry summer, only 7mm of rain the whole summer, they're moving into suburbs and cities looking for water, often found around houses, and it's causing some concern. Maybe not quite a snakepocalypse but none too good all the same.
You're making a terrible advertisement for visiting Australia 😂 😂 I saw that there are a lot of snakes there, but I actually don’t mind them. However, you have a much bigger problem…those freaky spiders! They are my biggest nightmare. I've seen videos of people posting about how normal it is for spiders to be crawling inside their houses. Oh my... 😂 But either way, I really don’t want to encounter the snake you mentioned😂
Yeah, spiders too...little creepy fuckers! I don't like them, or snakes, but it's a part of life here and especially considering that I go out into the wilderness a lot. I haven't been killed yet though, so that's something.
I’m quite clumsy, so I would definitely have gotten myself into trouble by now! 😂 I really respect your courage to go into such wilderness areas. I mean, I see wild pigs occasionally, and I’m always ready to run! 😂
We have them here too, a feral (introduced) species, which we hunt with the hope of eradicating them.
They hunt them here as well. And deers also, but they are beautiful, so it's sad for Bambi. However, hunting is apparently beneficial for the environment, so who am I to judge?
Yeah, I do a lot of it for various reasons including pest eradication and for food.