Dadjokes and Winners of the OXYMORON contest!

in Proof of Brain3 years ago (edited)

The turnout was good and many morons were entered into the trailblazing post I did 8 days ago to just spread a bit of mirth around. I feel like using Gwyneth Paltrow as a lead in image was the right choice too, it was her or Ivanka Trump. It was a very hard decision to make! Nobody can deny how beautiful either lady is and while Gwyneth is banking on her Orgasm candle, dear Ivanka is getting to sleep with a male stick person~ Jared Kushner is almost like a Praying Mantis.

I sort of feel a bit prophetic after reading again the original post about how gossamer the whole system is and also ....resilient. Here is the link to the original post, feel free to dive right in and embrace Mercury Retrograde which as stated before, is a time of radical change. You can Google that stuff yourself and then pontificate on your belly button or the meaning of life or something :)

In no particular order , here are the Winners!

  • @small1axe "Social Media ,... must be the greatest oxymoron ever."

  • @diebitch
    "Good grief! now my only choice is to slip into virtual reality"

  • @reverendrum
    "My favorite oxymoron is me." you will get YOUR prize later ;)

  • @eolianpariah
    "much like pretty ugly some of these are relying on double meaning such as patient doctor,broke fixer and stable changed"

Do you have some good Dad Jokes? Please share some in the comments section on THIS post, please tell a dad joke and the best 3 get a full UV. Happy Father's Day to all the Daddy's out there even if you are just made of SUGAR!!!

this is all meant to be in good fun which should not be a four letter word as it is only three letters :) Have a great upcoming week and remember that Bears help clean up the forest to shake off the weak leaves.

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*images by giphy , the most exciting place on the internet besides here :)


where does a general keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

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Ah Dad jokes, the joy of every Dad and the pain of every teenager. I always liked to pop them on my daughter when her friends around just to get that extra embarrassment factor.

What did the duck say when it bought chapstick?
Put it on my bill!

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whats brown and sticky?

a stick

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very very dadjoke

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I have 2 favorite dad jokes- unfortunately over the internet they are slightly difficult to convey.

What do you call an armless man in the ocean?

Bob(please envision me bobbing slightly up and down as I say this)

What is green and invisible?

This Melon (please envision me holding my arms towards you as if offering up a large watermelon for your consideration)

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gonna go to Rum......deez melons!

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My favorite oxymoron is

‘Happily Married’ ;)

You are posting some quite interesting contests here. Your username reminds me of a username i have used in many games ‘Kissmyaxe’ - and i found it matches with your straightforward and kinky tone.

Sad I don’t have a dad joke here. I will definitely look up to your other contests.

Best Wishes
Keep Hiving & Showering Love

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awesome, just wanna have fun and don't like fakebook or instagram sooo, shrug
thanks for the awesome comment
have a good one

Kids , your mammy is in hospital because she had a car mechanic punch her holes , what got grease mixed up in the wrong one giving inflectional problems to the bladder . Don't blame me , i was giving no dick for months already . ..... my best and worse joke as a dad ever ,.... did cost me ,... everything .

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oh my , I don't know to laugh or cry or both

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If it was a sitcom , funny AF ,.. for real ,.. i did both . On my darkest day .

"A man walks into a bar and says 'ouch'"

Looking forward to my prize ;)

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I'm looking forward to mine which would be......honestly, I'm so wanting a burger, ahhhhhh

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