I find it really hard to accept gifts.
Because they really do come with strings, expectations, desires and shit.
And further... when i give a gift, i listen to what the person complains about, listen to what they like and i build the perfect thing to solve their complaints. (usually some box or cabinet that perfectly holds what they complain doesn't fit...)
I spend a lot of time getting knowledge of the person and their preferences.
I sorta expected that they would do the same.
However, what i have found is that most people buy you a present based on their preferences, and their view of the world.
Like this christmas i got two long sleeve shirts. Very nice, very expensive.
And i have only worn one once. It's rarely cold enough to wear a long sleeve shirt.
And my work is one where you do not wear a nice, expensive shirt to.
So, to me, i have a lot of money (that could have been spent on tools or food) just
sitting there collecting dust.
Further, i need to remember to wear it when meeting with this friend.
And wear it nicely, prominently. Because that is the real desire in the gift being given.
I find it such a pain.
I would like to say this isn't true, unfortunately it is for a lot of people.
Again, true for many, although a lot do try a little bit to get what they think you want...
One set of words that may be well in this discussion is:
Ass-burgers people.
When you are a normal person, you understand this give and take of gift-giving.
You understand the social construct that is the exchange.
And since you are a normal person, and they are a normal person, you just naturally do the whole gift thing.
However, people on the spectrum do not understand this social construct.
In fact, their lives are often in direct opposition to it.
As in, so often it is painful to receive a gift.