Squak.. chsuuhh.. static.
This is agent Nevies calling the controller. Shots fired! I repeat: shots fired! Man down. Man - Yo, may day! May day!
This post is here for the Proof of Brain Community's 'pob daily' hosted by @dwayne16 and @marvinix, it's like a challenge where you post about how you spent your day. You can do it every day if you want, but if you don't, no probs, you can do it only on some days. Interesting stuff usually doesn't happen every everyday, so cool.
Today, though, stuff really went down with me and that's why I have something to say. It is simple, I woke up in the morning, did some work out, took my bath, went out and my heart got broken, people. Cold. Here is how it went:
I woke up in the morning, and I DIDN'T do any work out. Does that mean I lied when I said I did some work out in the paragraph above? No, it does not mean I lied, it means I - I - I um.. Yo, what do you say we forget about it and move on eh 😃?
So what happened was, I woke up and went straight to my favourite fast food joint for breakfast. This was a small fast food joint, just a shop where they sell cooked foods (not snacks or burgers). Shops like these are scattered all over my country (Nigeria).
Usually, a cooked food shop becomes your favourite because of how good the food they serve is, but if you're a gentleman who has sojourned long in this world and have some ancient wisdom, you'd come to find that shops become your favourite too based on the caliber of booty the sales girls have got. It is straight facts, people. And it just so happens that I am a gentleman with ancient wisdom, so do the math 😉.
Alright, this morning I was at my own favourite food shop, my favourite sales girl's ass was busy wobbling and jiggling without any care in the world as she moved up and down attending to customers. And my dilligent eyes were following her, every single step of the way. At intervals she'd make eye contact with me and I'd wink immediately and smile. She wouldn't wink back or even smile, but I didn't have any problems with that because I was sure she liked me too.
This girl, I was very sure she liked me too. I was also sure I now know how she communicated her love. She didn't communicate through stupid facial expressions like smiles and winks. No, she communicated it through grand gestures and the current grand gesture she uses to express her love for me is giving me an extra piece of meat when she gives me my food. One of the best ways to show your love if you ask me. I quite admired that.
So I'd wink and smile, she'd look away disinterestedly, but when it's time to give me food I'd find two pieces of meat instead of one. I'd smile, look up to the ceiling and say I love you too as I chewed it.
However, something messed up happened today 😭
When it was time for me to be served, this girl was no where to be found. I waited and waited, she wasn't coming and time was gliding by quickly, so I gave up and let someone else serve me. This someone else was the owner of the shop, a middle-aged woman. Her booty was on steroids too, but I'm not thinking of anything because she's married.
So she serves me my food and you wouldn't believe what I found! I found 3 extra pieces of meat in it, making it 4 pieces of meat for me! Can you imagine that, people? 3 extra pieces of meat! Damn. Was this madam in love with me too? As I was contemplating whether to look up to the sky and quietly whisper 'I love you too' before eating it, I decided to really understand what was going on here. I decided to find out why this woman gave me 3 extra pieces of meat. I feared she might charge me more money because of it. So I called her and asked.
'Excuse me, Ma, you gave me 3 extra pieces of meat. Is the price going to change or there's a hidden message you're trying to pass?'
I gave a weak scared smile as I awaited her reply. And her reply shattered me! It ruined my whole day and brought about this write-up. You know what she said? She said:
'No, it is usually 4 pieces of meat for this particular soup, no extra charges. Only this soup. We don't do this for other soups. We've been doing this all year, is this your first time?'
And she left.
I made a quick recall and remembered this was the exact soup I had been ordering for the past one week from my favourite sales girl and that I never got 4 pieces of meat, I only got 2 and I thought I got 2 instead of one because the girl liked me too! So she had in fact been giving me 2 instead of 4? Oh! My heart was shattered. Broken into so many pieces 😭😭.
I couldn't believe it. So this girl didn't love me, she had been cheating me all this while. The whole thing about the grand gesture was a scam!
That's how it went, my people. Very very bad day.