I don't get surprised by people's behaviour anymore because being the type that always wants to help others has put me in so much trouble that I didn't see coming. I made a lot of those decisions with my heart instead of my brain and wouldn't blame myself much since it's difficult for me to have and not assist someone in need not to talk of a friend.
The most annoying part of me is that I keep doing that silly thing with the hope of the next person not stabbing me in the back until I made up my mind to only render assistance that wouldn't leave me with regret in the long run. My little experience with assisting people has put me among the caliber of those who expect less from others, it's impossible not to reach this stage after getting betrayed several times.
I have had different experiences and shared some on my blog before now. The impact of this betrayal hits me differently and I will share a particular one that I wasn't expecting. The person involved was a very friend even though he is older than me.
He was a senior colleague at work but we became friends since we interact every day. We shared personal issues and I was silly to believe that we have grown past just a work relationship.
It happened that another colleague invited me to join a monthly thrift at work so I told my friend about it and we agreed to join. We did twenty thousand monthly and it lasted a year.
The first year was kind of rough because some people wanted to switch numbers to shorten their collection time due to an emergency. It started with one person and a few other people took advantage of it as well which we later discovered and it even caused quarrels among us.
To avoid the issues that happened the first time, we made a rule that anyone who wants to switch numbers with be charged 5% of the money and surprisingly, no one needed to swap their collection time even until the middle of the thrift.
The law was effective because nobody wanted to lose 5% of their money but my friend eventually needed his money before his collection time and since my collection time was near, we swapped without involving anyone. The idea was to help him save the 5% but I should have just let him lose the money.
I got the alert and sent him a hundred and twenty thousand which he needed so went he got his contribution, he will give me the half as well. Everything was fine until it got to his turn, he got the money and started giving excuses.
First, it started with having bank issues, he went on to his child having health complications and other silly lies. To avoid being faulted by others, I didn't share the issue with anyone but it hurt because I also had plans for my money.
I kept my cool until I heard from someone that my friend just got a bigger apartment. I couldn't stop laughing because I was really stupid to have been quiet about it. This guy is a very respected person so I gave him a preview of my madness at the office one morning and he sent half of the money out of shame.
He went on to pay the balance in three months and it was the end of our friendship. We still greeted at work but there was nothing personal between us again, we returned to being just colleagues and nothing more.
I am terrible with ghosting people so I didn't cut him off, I heard a few shitty things he said about me but it honestly didn't bother me.
The experience taught me to always put myself into consideration when dealing with people financially but I didn't learn the lesson because I still messed myself up while trying to help someone retain his job after being sacked by the company. The thought of his survival pushed me and I ran into a huge debt for doing that.
At this stage of my life, I only do favours that I am capable of, I do things that wouldn't affect me even if the person decides to be an ingrate.
Hehe. It's a smart move. People fight for what they get something free. A little change can capable to stop it😅. Human will be human 🤣.
People change for money and I feel very bad. But I can't change the habit of people. In case of doing favour I feel I need to think about myself first because I think it's not wise Idea to take risk for others unless it's emergency.
The fine did make everyone sit tight and contented with the number they got.
It's best to think of how your help will affect you positively or negatively before going on with it. I learned my lesson the hard way even though I still make that mistake, the repercussions are nothing beyond my control.
I can understand it but remember one thing that too much kindness is also a weakness. So don't make your kindness as a weakness.
Hmmmmm, you are right about that. When people get to know it as a weakness, they take advantage of it.
Sometimes you have to be cautious and even more so when it comes to money matters. Remember, money is nobody's friend. That person you are talking about is just as ungrateful and treacherous in other aspects of his life. Best regards from Venezuela.
You are right sir, we must be careful when dealing with people especially when money is involved. He was an ungrateful person and I am glad he exposed himself before our relationship went beyond what it was.
Jeez...this is really a sad one honestly and this is why I don't ever borrow money to my friends rather I give you whatever I have just to preserve our friendship because money honestly scatters friendship because people are very greedy in this era... Too bad
Giving what you can afford is the best because it won't affect you when the person eventually disappoints you.
The man fucked up big time, he was smart though but I got all my money back.
Indeed.. give but only what you can afford to lose
Hmmmm, is this not selfishness joined with Wickedness? Imagine that man and his stupid behaviour. You would have just allowed him lose the 5% instead of being nice and being paid with ingratitude. May our kindness not lead us into regret.
Yes, you really needs to put yourself in consideration biko
What a heck
And you repeated it again George
Hmmm
Hopefully you have learnt your lessons Shaa... ungrateful people everywhere
It is ooo, the man was just cruel. He knew I love to help and took advantage of that.
I know he doesn't like being dragged since he is a senior staff and I took advantage of that else, I wouldn't have gotten my money back.
I have learned to be careful now, I just wish people could be sincere and honest with things like that.
And, also, let us remind you about The 9ja Show in three hours.
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Experience is the best teacher my dear, after so many sacrifices with so much trouble, I made up my mind to always do things I wouldn't come back blaming myself. It's a good thing you learnt from that experience.