I'm sure I would have answered differently if this same question was asked of me some years ago. But for everything I've had to witness, go through and experience, I can tell you for free that I'm definitely learning and unlearning right now.
It might sound simple and such, but I know better. What I'm learning is how to turn painful experiences, hurts, betrayals, pains and such into strength rather than allow it make it turn me into a bitter and inhumane person.
I've had to go through a lot of things that are obviously much more than my age. It wasn't an easy period for me or my parents. They struggled financially, emotionally, healthwise, and all. And I began to see myself as a burden to them. My dad was retired at the time, and we all know the meagre salary they pay civil servants here in Nigeria, not to talk of that which they pay retirees which is not even regular. But all their focus and energy was on me getting better. Those moments are way more than trying moments, even I cannot say how I'm able to scale through, all I can say is that it's definitely a miracle.
At some point, I thought it was just the end for me. I thought all my plans and dreams are all gone and that there's nothing more for me. Words won't be enough to describe the kind of pain I had to undergo then. It wasn't good of an experience to dwell on. When I finally started to get better, there are the different kind of things the doctors and nurses warned me against, things I'm never to go into again, certain hard works I shouldn't do anymore and the various foods I should do away with.
Being told all of that makes me wonder how I would even survive life, I'm a guy for God's sake, I can't be depending on my parents, siblings or people. I've got to live and do stuffs for myself too. But I'm glad I refuse to settle or dwell on that pain. Even though it almost got over me, I almost turned into someone who doesn't care, love or even bother about others, cause I would always feel, "what exactly has he/she seen," "what exactly are they going through that I've not experienced 20x more."
So, that was how I began to do things, I refuse to see what I've gone through only as a struggle and such, I started seeing it as something that could be of great help to people who are going through stuffs too. And along the line, I began sharing words of encouragement and such, and if need be I share my story as well, just so to give e someone hope.
There are times I've even gotten messages from those I dom know who are going through things and from the little that I know, I try as much as possible to make them see that life still goes on no matter what, and that they could overcome anything. I've even came across those who don't need you to tell them anything, they just want to talk to someone who can relate with their plight, someone who will listen and not judge them.
Also, I learnt some skills, and it's one that won't put pressure on my body as I could no longer do the hard handwork (tiling) I had learnt. I learnt to customize and design items. It may look small, but it's top notch for me. I unlearnt and stopped nursing that feeling that I'm now limited and that my time has been cut short.
So, all of those experiences of mine taught me that difficult seasons don't define my future, even though life may come and redirect ones path, still the direction you're being redirected to can still lead to a more meaningful and purposeful destination.
So, at the moment, that's what I'm learning, to stop holding on to the past and the hurt there in, but to be more focused and see the good in things. And I'm sure it will help me be a more appreciative individual while also be more free and open in sharing my story to others just so to help them and remind them that when there is life, there is hope.
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Images are mine.
Thanks a lot for taking your time to read through, kindly do well to stop by my blog @marsdave for more exclusive and amazing content.
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What you said here is hard but I believe that with dedication and effort you can achieve it. And I'm so proud of you that despite all what you've faced in the past you aren't allowing it to define you, that shows how strong you are.
Honestly, I know one day all your efforts won't go to waste. Just keep be yourself and change for nobody. Just keep happy.
Omo, I'm lost for words.
Thanks a lot for this heartfelt, thoughtful and beautiful comment.
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I see a very sincere account from someone who went through extremely difficult times and decided not to let it negatively affect their character.
Transforming pain into strength is a very wise decision! But it's difficult to do, so you deserve recognition!
Wow, I'm so touched.
Thanks a lot for seeing me and seeing the me that's learning to transform pain into strength.
Your words means a lot to me.
Thanks a lot for stopping by.
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I love your strength Dave, I love the fact that you aren't allowing your past define you and with that you will do exploit.
Just keep having a positive and optimistic mindset Dearest, you will conquer ♥️
Amen.
Definitely 😀.
Thanks a lot for your kind Words.
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Thanks a lot.