Surrogacy is a complicated topic. It's never so simple as some people see it. Not as simple as carrying the baby and giving it to the couple—no, a lot of things are involved.
The emotional attachment, the hormones in action all through the nine-month journey, the cravings associated with pregnancy, the body changes, the kicks by the baby in the womb, and many touches of motherhood—all these result in strong bonding by some surrogate moms, anyway, not all, as some only care about the money in return and not the emotions or affairs of the child.
Then the legal agreements, contracts, etc.—it's just a whole lot surrounding this subject. As such, it's very important that the parties involved are highly educated prior to the deal.
Having said that, the big question is should the biological mother still have a say in the affairs of the baby? Or is she simply just going to birth the child and be on her way? Like I mentioned, it depends on the surrogate mom; some don't care, while some do. Take for instance a lady I met two Saturdays ago in the market. She was heavily pregnant before, but that day, I saw that she had delivered, and I congratulated her.
Upon asking about her newborn, her response and the tone she used was baffling; she said, and I quote, "Na business oo...the baby don follow his papa travel to the UK." "I don't collect my money...na the real koko be that. What concerns me? Next customer, please".
Oh boy... I was speechless…she doesn't care about the baby...just the money. For this surrogate mom, I would say it's possible she didn't connect with the baby all through the nine-month journey and may never ask about the child, but for some that do care, I think they should be given the opportunity to think through what is involved prior to signing every legal agreement after birth.
I understand that legally, a contract states that the child belongs to the intended parents; again, the surrogate can’t claim parental rights, and also the couple takes over the full responsibility of the baby, but sometimes, legal documents cannot control emotions, lol.
It must have been stated very clearly to the surrogate mom that her goal is to help another family, but when her emotions come knocking, she must find a way to balance her emotions. She should be given respect as the carrier of the child and given every opportunity to make her final decision after birth, but once she signs the document, all decisions about the child belong to the parents. I don't think she should still have a say.
That's why ignorance shouldn't be an excuse, but rather she should get the needed clarity prior to sealing an agreement related to surrogacy; it's very paramount.
People should know what they are getting into or back out before being backed up by a legal agreement.
This is my response to the #Hive Learners community contest on the topic titled, SURROGACY RIGHTS.
Images were taken from canva
An Agreement is an agreement. Both of the parent and surrogate mother should do research and come up with their agreement before having the children child.
Very important
This idea of belonging needs to be clear from the beginning. I don't believe this procedure should be normalized; it's a very special situation and should only be used in very well-defined cases. Many risks are involved.
Yea..many risks are involved and that's why clarity matters a lot
Yes ooo, the terms and conditions must be well understood by the individual involved. Thanks for sharing.
No doubt a about that
Thanks for visiting bro
I agree with you that although the genetics aren't from surrogate mom but she carries the baby nine months and obviously the emotions develop in her and she should have control on these emotions
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Of course , she should hv control of the emotions...she is only the incubator ..lol
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I understand the aspect of emotional attachment, but then it still remains a business, emotions have to be controlled.
The surrogate shouldn't have a say in the affair of the child, to avoid futuristic problems for the child and intended parents.
Thanks for sharing.
Yesooo...u can say that again
Just be aware of what you are opting in for ..simple
Sending you Ecency curation votes.😉
Much appreciated
I know it's natural to be connected to the baby as a surrogate mother, but I think she should not have a say in the child, as the child must have real parents. But she is allowed to love the baby and stay connected with the baby, also if the parents allow it. But the surrogate mother should not interfere or decide for the child, as it can create complications for the child.
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I agree with you , connection is allowed and understandable but not to hv a say