Home... That is what I call it for now because it is where I grew up, where I have the most memories but it feels weird that it doesn't feel like home again. I am not so eager to go back but instead eager to make my home, to build my own life and move on with it.
I had the good memories back at my parent's place (supposed home) they are the best in the world and they call me to come home almost every time, but I post them, I bring up every excuse not to go home. Not that I have anything in particular but it feels weird now, seeing myself there and not out there trying to make a home, a space of living for my self.
At this point, I don't know whether to call this place home any longer than to use the sentence, I am going to my parents' house and the sole purpose of doing that is to see my parents, and not to relax, not to clear my mind, not to do anything that feels like being at home.
I feel this is more like the story of any guy that have gotten to the age I am. I am not old, neither am I too young. I am just twenty four, but yet I see myself as a person with potential who should have his path being worked on, and even should have his own personal space where he would call home.
This is the reason why I chose not to go back to my parents' place even after I am done with my course of study. Yes I would visit them, I will check up on them because I love them so much, which is why I will be visiting.
Talking about visiting, I will be visiting my parents' place(home) tomorrow. I have not visited them since I left 2nd of January and they have been asking me, when will I come around. I have not had any tangible reason to come home or had anything in particular to do at home which is why I had always found an excuse of not visiting. Moreover, I have commitment or certain responsibilities in school which is why I had chosen to stay in school.
But this time, I have found a reason that needs me to visit them. My mum's birthday is this saturday and I don't want to miss wishing her a happy birthday, giving her a hug and the little gift I had bought for her about 3 to 4 months ago. So I don't want to miss my mother's 59th birthday for anything.
The funny thing is, I don't know what will be going through my dad's mind. His birthday was on February, I didn't think of going home, I didn't get him a gift, and the only thing I did was to give him a call wish him happy birthday and say him a short prayer.
Now I don't know what I should do, should I get him something little as well even though it is not his birthday in order to appreciate him so that he will not feel less loved or left out. I am thinking and considering this because I know one day in this life, I will be a father too. What do you think?
Reading your post made me think about how I did it when I was in your age... I suppose it was in a similar way as you, with the difference that I left 2 homes... For the first time when I went to study, and when I finished, I didn't actually come home... I was there for a short time, but I couldn't settle down... In the end, I found my own place, got married, and had a child...
Today, I'm thinking about how will my son do it... He will have 18 years in 2 months, go to the University, and what will happen later, I have no idea... As a parent, I have mixed feelings about it... It would be great to have him near, but on the other side, it's normal that he build his own life, which is done the best in a way like you are doing...
As a dad, I do not expect gifts or anything similar... The best gift is respect and love of the child...
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was is also at a similar age?
This is the goal, find my own place, get married and have a child but before that, have some set of skills that will make me financially capable and ready for this type of life.
Happy birthday in advance to your son. He is soon to enter the University. Wow. I feel it will be the same for him when he gets to the point he is about to finish at the university.
I think it is still possible to have him near by knowing his plans and also helping him to through it and if there is free time, there can be some family time that can be done occasionally where he will be invited to stay a few days.
this touched me.. a child can express his love by also getting things for their parents.
I was 26 when I got married and I got my son when I was 28... When I got married, around that time we moved to "our place"... Before that, we were fixing the home where we were planning to live...
Thanks! Yeah, that's exactly why I found your post intriguing... he is coming to a certain age where he should start thinking about how (and where) his life will go...
As a child, we don't think too much about how much our parents had to sacrifice to have bread on the table, clothes, education, and of course love... Having a kid of my own, I now respect a lot more my parents and I only now realize how much they gave me... in those circumstances that weren't the best...
Don't overthink too much... I know that I do that very often, but most of the time, things are simple... A lot of things in life come to us, without our constant thinking, stressing, and trying to go in some other direction...
Have a great weekend!
Well, being twenty four and thinking of how to put your life together doesn’t mean you’re in a haste or something. It means you want the best for yourself and achieve what you want at an early stage of your life. I wish your mum a happy birthday in advance
Thank you very much for your nice words.
It is actually at this early stage, we ought to be working our ass off and making plans so that we can get to relax and enjoy life later on.
It's easy to get lost in life's business. But at the end of it all, above all the hustle and bustle, family is one of the MOST important things that truly matter.
Do get them gifts, no matter how small. They won't be around for too long. It's the heart behind it that matters. My dad had his 70th birthday recently. I had almost nothing in my account. But I got wind about someone who makes great wooden frame/paper back plaques with inscriptions... pretty basic but beautiful.
It was affordable and so I got him one. And it really went a long way. I could see it in his reaction.
He hung his plaque from his son proudly in the living room like a balon D'or, and that meant much more than any expensive gift I could have gotten him.
So I believe you can get creative with a gift even while it's inconvenient.
Here is what the plaque looked like. It was 6000 naira (about 3-4 USD) at the time I ordered for it.
Wow this is so emotional. It would have touched him a lot. thanks so much for sharing this. I really appreciate.
I guess we all get to that pint. Nowadays whenever I want to go home to my parents and I say to my friends that I'm going to my dather/mother's house, they laugh. It's weird to them I get, and I don't remember from when I began to address a home that should be ours in that term. I just know that it is my home and yet not my home....which I can tell is what you think too.
You're thinking right, you have to build yourself too. It's only normal to want something for 4 having a space of your own is the best Starr. This is adulthood...and life.
Happy 59th birthday to your mum.
And, get your dad something. It'll warm him up, I tell you.
I think I have found someone that knows exactly how I feel and can relate to it.
Thank you very much. I really appreciate this comment!
Thanks... I will make sure too!
Yooo bro. It think it is natural that the rush desire to always want to go back home reduces over time, not the love for family. Once we have gained some good experiences about how to live, make decisions and earn on our own, we start to feel the urge to build the home we also want. Of course we aren't going to stay in our parents house for ever.
If you are doing quite well on your own, it is not bad to feel that way as long as the love for family remains in your heart.
C'mon! Get dad a gift too bro else it would be na man dey do man o. The fact that the thought came to mind is enough to get him a gift.
I can't wait to see us with our children bro 😂😂😂
This is true. we aren't going to stay there forever. Man has to leave his father's land.
Lol... this stuff came to my mind in a way while writing it. I am already having a gift prepared for him.
Okay bro, that's better.
Home should always feel like home unless your parents aren't there anymore. 10 yrs ago, I remembered myself hating to go home because only my dad is there. But I regretted it now because I haven't have a good memory of him after my mom's gone. Now that they're both gone, I found myself going back there frequently with no reason. Maybe I just missed my home or I just want to go back to the time that my dad is still there. You know what I mean?
Yeah, it is still home, but comes with the discomfort that I should be out there doing something about making mine.
Wow, sorry about that.
if the goal is making memories with them, then I can do that easily by organizing a hangout with them occasionally. But yeah I need to be financially capable for that.
Do you have siblings? You guys can decide to do a get together, and meet at your parents' place and form memories together.
Memories can only be made from the present. Sad to say our parents were gone. We can't make good memories of them anymore. That's the reason of telling you to always make time before you'll regret it.
I get it, I felt like home is no longer home too at some point but that still doesn't change the fact that home will for ever be home even if we go out to get a good life.
Happy 56th birthday to your mother and please, you shouldn't wait till next year to celebrate your dad's birthday, do celebrate him now, Get any special gift for him that will leave a smile on his face, he deserves it
lol. it is 59th, not 56th.
Yeah I get the point, and that is because that is were we have the most memories.
I am already working something on that!
Oh! Sorry, that was a typo.
happy 59th birthday to her
oh wow is your dad the jealous type. if yes better get him a gift lol. should treat parents equally don't play favorites gifted hands :p
My dad is not the jealous type but even though, he may feel it but be silent about it.
o.o i see then better get him something
I feel you bro. Getting older especially as a male one would naturally be thinking of having his space and his life in construction. Even females want some independence.
It is beautiful that you want to go home to your parents' house especially for your mum's birthday. And it's beautiful you've gotten a gift for her as well.
I would say since you were not able to come home for your dad's birthday and give him a gift. You could take something along for him too.
If you say next year you will get something for him that would be too far and we don't know what will come up then.
So, I think it would be great to get him something as well.
Hmm true. I really don't have any idea on what I can get him
Same here 😔. But I went to ask GPT 😅. Cause I would like to know what one could get his dad. And it gave some suggestions. One I picked out of the many was a personalised wallet: a wallet with a personalised message reminding him of how much you cherish him.
You could also think of his interests and get him something on the line of that.
Happy birthday to mummy in advance 🎉