In each culture, there are beliefs (taboo/superstitions etc) that have been passed down through generations, in this era you probably find it difficult to relate to them. But they are still being practiced. Tell us about it, and if you feel it should be abolished.
What I will be addressing relative to the prompt is the issue of parents, most times saying, My child should not marry from a particular tribe. Of course, it is a traditional thing not general. For me, this issue did not just start in our generation. It dates way back to the time of our ancestors. And now, I have seen even those we even call learned people have now inculcated that art too. Well, I call it an art; a bad one it is.
Stemming out from my last post - TRADITIONAL WEDDING IN MY TRIBE - in this community, where I said that....
There are a series of things done before even the marriage is done.
Yes, actually it'd be the parents that most times do this investigations themselves, and no matter how the truth may be shrouded, they always find their way out.
Over the years, with the space occupied by religion and spirituality, there has been some kind of attributes attached to certain set of people. I would have called it racism but we are still in the large tribe. These attibutes are most times generalised. Frankly speaking, they are things that certain persons have exhibited over time ranging from marital status, religion, culture to kinds of family illness. But to me, it is not enough for one to now say that that is what exists in a certain tribe altogether by just taking a sample space of maybe 0.1% of the whole population.
These things have ruined what should have become blissful unions of men and women. You know, we could say that the bachelor/spinster of nowadays should choose for ourselves, have our choice. Yes, we do but not all the time. The parents especially still have a good part in the hold of their respective child. So somehow they still prevail on their children to follow what they want.
Just imagine that two lovers getting ready to have each other in marriage, then the family of one say that the other partner's tribe do not usually stay happily married, or have certain tribe (family) illness. Why? cos they have seem some people from there who don't. But why the generalisation. Infact, if the partner in question is not a strong-willed one, doubt and fear of the unknown begins to build its web in the mind of such a person. Speaking from a true life story, some parents do not even have concrete reason for giving such an advice, they'd just say don't do that!!
Personally, I feel this sentimental issue should be abolished. I am not saying investigations should not be made and inference drawn. But the generalisation without proper and keen examination of such should stop. As long as it cannot be pin-pointed to partner or family in question. I mean that a person and/or maybe his/her family is just examined rather than drawing inference from the people who may not even be related to them.
Everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt - a chance to rewrite history, clear their name and more importantly, follow their chioce.
Fact!
Nice post boss...
Thanks, bosss..
As wise and knowledgeable as our parents are, I feel they should trust their children to make the right decisions for themselves. Giving advice or expressing their opinions is cool with good reason. But we all know the narrative with typical African parents 😂.
I'll say I didn't expect this angle you chose, very nice post.
What do you expect, I am an engineering student, you know...accuracy and precision it is.😎
But really, another thing is that some of these our parents know what they are saying but can not fully explain it..I was just thinking about this today after church..
It's plenty😂. No vex boss🤲🏾😂
Yeahh. That's also true. Anyhow sha, God help us choose rightly.
Amen..thats the most important prayer..🙇
It's really disheartening when you find someone you love so much and because of some beliefs you are been pressured to stay off your choice, hmmmm
From our side this belief and sentiment is gradually fading but if it where like before and I happened to get someone I loved from another tribe and am been pressured not to marry her or she's facing the same challenge we will quietly apply for changing of tribe very simple...
I will leave and go to where my heart is...
Our destiny is not tight to our traditions, it is not my tradition I will live with play with, and spend time with...
Very well.
But my advise to you is to watch well amd pray. Beneath all these, what these older people may see while seating, we cant see even if we climb trees.. They may see things they can not explain at times..
Smiles😊😊