I hear you. I partially agree, although part of me thinks, why hide? Why are we so afraid to be ourselves? Why are we so afraid to be authentic? In practice, I understand the problems involved. But part of me thinks we should always try to be sincere.
The philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said that you should always think in such a way that if someone asks you the question, what are you thinking about? You can tell him exactly, I am thinking about this or that... not only with one's partner but in general.
It can cause a lot of problems, but in the end, maybe we should be more comfortable being ourselves.
But that's just my thoughts. And I understand you too.
Cheers!
Your reply is upvoted by @topcomment; a manual curation service that rewards meaningful and engaging comments.
More Info - Support us! - Reports - Discord Channel
Thanks!
Actually I understand your position very well also.
As a Christian I believe I'll be judged on my words, deeds, and even my thoughts. So, I actively try to steer those thoughts to ones that I would not be ashamed of even if they were found out.
However, I'm also acutely aware of how often "bad" thoughts come up. When I see a beautiful woman in a park was just an easy example. However, after a day at work when I feel beat up and defeated I wouldn't want my wife to hear how bad I feel. When the kids do something incredibly stupid I wouldn't want my wife to hear how condescending my thoughts were. When I see her and see something sagging or bloated I'm certain she wouldn't want to hear my thoughts. Or when I get the poke at 3am in bed when in 90% asleep and I'm asked to check out a "strange noise" she thinks she heard.... Well, my response is "Of course I'll check it out" my thoughts.... wouldn't make her happy.
Most of the time if she was listening to my thoughts she would just annoyed that I just don't shut up and I keep looking at a problem in different ways over an over and over. But its those quick intrusive thoughts I would not want her to hear.
And yeah, I do strive to keep my thoughts in order so that if anyone DID hear them, mostly they would think I'm a decent, albeit odd, guy :)
Thanks for the response,
Appreciate it.