we generally let the hammer fall in full force when it comes to our own “failings”, sometimes very unfairly, and so much so as to make things even worse: we get depressed
I think, I am going through this now - accepting it as no big deal is not quick, I am trying, but it's not easy.
Every case is unique, of course. Some are easier than others to assimilate. Guess the key is that you're dealing with it, and trying not to be too hard on yourself. Sometimes though, we just want to kick ourselves in the ass (a very illustrative English idiom - not the same as "a kick in the ass", which is good) because it IS a big deal, but once the milk is spilled, well, that idiom is: no point in crying over spilt milk. All easier said than done. Guess one of the big keys is turning it into a learning experience. Good luck with it. Wish you the best.