I can't clearly define one single element, trait or behaviour I'd call the most responsible for me having created what I feel is a very good, happy and meaningful life. Can you?
I'm of the belief that we are responsible for creating the life we want to lead and I'm against the concept of allowing it to simply play out aimlessly and without direct input to help shape it the way we would like it to look and be. To that end, things like effort, consistency, discipline, decisiveness, evaluation, openness to change, self-honesty and ownership, tenacity, and more come into play with each adding to the overall "picture" that is our lives...let's call it the masterpiece we hope to paint on the canvas of life.
Identifying one single element in isolation is not something I can do although I can certainly name each of them, (including a little luck), that has helped me along and helped me to paint that masterpiece, a few are listed above.
In a chat with a person I mentor recently, self control came up - she recognised a lack of it in her life, personally and professionally. I usually use the word discipline but she called it self control and I'm ok with that and even more ok with the fact she's owned up to struggling with the concept. Good for her.
Self control, or discipline, has so many uses in our lives; I'll not list them as you can probably work them out for yourself but I wanted to ask you about your experiences. It's the controls we put in place throughout our lives, that help us to build and improve it and we all have them, or should.
Question
How has having self control, or not having self control, impacted your life? How have you made good use of it and what results came from its use; have you come to the realisation that you do not have it or use it enough? How have you set out to rectify that?
If you'd like to get involved with the conversation and share your opinions and stories feel free to do so in the comments below.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
For me, it’s all about consistency, something many people seem to lack. Do anything often enough and it becomes a habit. Form good habits and discipline is easy. I've fasted 16 hours a day for over 30 years. At this stage, it’s not willpower, it's muscle memory.
Yep, being consistent in our good habits is a critical factor and I'd go as far as saying anyone who has achieved at a good level has shown consistency.
Fasting...I fast between meals...and snacks...and when I'm asleep.
That's the very definition of intermittent fasting:)
Not having self control has put me in dangerous places. For example, I downgrade at my job in my job. I lost control and said some hard words to my boss. So it cost me a little price. But having control make a better and complex man. Why? Because I learned things instead just have fun in my free time. Still learning right now.
Learning, and still learning, is the way to go. We all lose discipline at some point but learning from those moments is most important.
Hmm for me are slight different, discipline on respect certain self habits or good rules and so on, like eat well, never sit there wasting time on dumb videos etc... while self control depends more on events or other people... For example I don't have much self control when something hit my nerves, like until it's stupid things OK, but if it's something more heavy like people throwing shit at you at work, doing damage that harms you, immediately I get the blood in my head and lose self control, like I don't give a fuck i get just mad
That's a fair comment, I think we all get like that sometimes; I have a very low tolerance for wankers for instance and am likely to let them know rather than exercise self control and hide it. Same as you really.
I believe self-control is extremely important. In the past, I didn't really have it. Whenever I faced a problem or situation, my nerves and stress got the better of me. I couldn't control the situation or analyse things properly. I matured, life changed me, I understood that there is no point in getting upset. I know myself now and I can look at things from a different angle, and things have gone much better for me. I don't know if it's age or the habit I've picked up of changing my approach, but things have changed for the better.
I think age can have a positive effect when it comes to seeing and doing the things we should be and which help us towards a better future. It's best for that to start early though.
This is the best way to avoid wasting time.
Like a lot of people my biggest issue with self control probably relates to food. I've gotten much better at it, but unfortunately, the earlier damage was already done. The older you get, the harder the road back to normal!
It's never too late though, unless one has died of a heart attack of course.
For sure! I get up early and work out just about every day through the week.
That's the way to do it. So many do nothing because it's "too late" and for some it is, but I think to be human is to strive towards something and it might as well be better health I guess huh?
For sure. I want to be as healthy as I can so I can spend more time with my wife.
Well for me discipline is the most important. Because even if you have the most wonderful plan on how to better your life, without disciplining yourself to work on those plans, they will remain just plans and your life would be worse off for that.
Discipline is like the fuel you put into a car to make it move. Our lives is that car, without the fuel of discipline there'd be no movement. Because discipline always leads to action and action is the main thing we need to change our lives.
There are many geniuses that have achieved only the average or nothing at all because they lacked the discipline to work on their lofty plans or put their wonderful talents to good use, and there are many average people that have achieve superlative things because they were disciplined enough to work on their average plans.
How has having self control, or not having self control, impacted your life?
Well let's say I'm the genius in my previous comment who has achieved little because of lack of discipline. You know, lofty plans, wonderful dreams. Of course I work at my goals daily, but I'm still far from reaching my full potential. But little by little I'm learning self-discipline.
Knowing you're far from your full potential is good, it means you know improvement is required and that helps you determine what things to do to find that improvement. Apply discipline and you'll be good to go.
Having self control means I've never had a speeding fine. Probably saved me a lot of time and money.
An excellent use of your self control.
You're such a good boy.
Thats a cool panel! what car is that?
Ineos Grenadier.
Very cool! Never heard about it and was just checking out online. Reminds me of the Mercedes G
That’s a really meaningful reflection, and I like how you framed self-control and discipline as essentially two sides of the same coin. For me, having self-control has been both a challenge and a teacher. In times when I exercised it consistently whether with health, time, or emotions. I noticed a real sense of progress and calm; things seemed to fall into place with less chaos. On the other hand, when I let impulses take over, even small ones, it often led to stress or regret later on. I’ve learned that selfcontrol isn’t about restriction, but about alignment making sure my choices serve the person I want to become. Building routines, setting clearer goals, and pausing before reacting have helped me strengthen it bit by bit.
This sounds very much like an AI response.
It is interesting. Sometimes I don't control it because it is out of control, when I control myself and collect it for next time😁😁Once I controlled myself, a girl kept hitting my foot repeatedly and I ignored her because I thought it was sudden but after some time she did it again. I controlled myself because it was a classroom and I was listening to the teacher. I collect all my anger and then I vent it outside the class🤣
I think you might have completely missed the point of the post, but well done for having a go anyway.