Coffee and I are old friends (coffee is older than me of course) and I do a lot of thinking over coffee. With this in mind I decided to start a little concept called thoughts over coffee which I'll be doing from time to time.
Topic - Be a better you part three (Part two here)
Be interested in others
- Maintain eye contact and issue encouragement through body language such as nods, head tilts, words like "tell me more" or a compliment. There's an amazing power that comes through a minimalistic encouragement when interacting and it keeps others talking and those others thinking how awesome a listener you are.
- Listen then ask intelligent questions. Most people break into dialogues about themselves rather than asking questions which is a mistake. Make it about them, not you.
- Remember small details and especially their names.
You're flawed, own it
- Don't hide your flaws, admit to them. If you don't know something say so rather than pretending you do. We all have weaknesses so no one out there believes that you do not.
- Showing your imperfections demonstrates your humanness and helps others relate to you because they have the same or similar. It helps open conversation and helps people find a type of synergy, a commonality.
- Don't be what you're not. You are probably not the smartest person in the room and acting like you are will not endear you to others and will probably mean you miss out on some valuable lessons or information from others who simply clam up and let you babble on like a twat.
What do you reckon? If you want to comment below then go ahead, I'm interested in your thoughts and experiences.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
What do I reckon?? I reckon you are absolutely correct! Someone who's been there and done that and always has a better way is one of the most annoying people on the face of the earth.
You're flawed, own it is right. If you already know everything, you will never learn anything. And when you stop learning , you die. Or you should, anyway lol
I don't know how I do it, but sometimes I manage to get something right.
You get more right than you know lol.
Haha, yeah I guess but it would probably depend on who was asked about it.
lol screw the naysayers...they're just jealous
Indeed, it's often the case with suck people.
I find if you can make someone laugh, you can instantly disarm them. I'm fortunate to possess just the right amount of silliness to blurt out something mildly inappropriate and raise a smile.
And, having spent years moving in legal circles, I can say with some confidence that I often was the smartest person in the room:)
They say laughter is the best medicine and I totally disagree...but certainly laughter is one of the best things a human can do and inspire in others.
All great advice, thanks for these reminders.
Reminds me of a funny story that happened to me. I was in the car with someone I had just met. I got the feeling he was trying to impress me and he used a big new word I had never heard before. I don't remember the word now, but it was something like "gentrification" or similar.
I thought it was an opportunity to be humble and let him show how smart he was. So I said I'd never heard that word and didn't know what it means, and asked him to explain it. He was dumbfounded, stuttered a bit, and said he didn't know what it meant either. 😂
A long way of saying, I've been surprised at how often other people are in the same situation and also don't know something. A lot of people are pretending they know things and afraid to admit they don't. It's a type of freedom to be unafraid to admit you don't know something.
The world is made up of people all pretending that they know more than others so they can support their ego, feel relevant and valid I guess. I'm not on Facebook but it happens all the time there and on other social medias, in the workplace, social clubs and anywhere else people congregate together.
There's a word for it: Pretenderisactioning.
Ok, I just made that shit up.
On another note, I sometimespretend I don't know something just so the other person I'm with at the time can feel a certain way, tell me some stuff. It can help to get them talking and opening up.
I almost looked up the definition before reading the next sentence. 😆
That's a good tip, I've done that occasionally but not recently, good reminder. Works well with children, I should try it with adults too.
Give it a crack mate, you might get a good result.
Not bad...that's a good word you invented on the fly.
I get enjoyment out of making up words. (Normally two or three other ones combined.)
Fuckzactly was one of my best. A combination of fucken and exactly. I was strongly agreeing with a mate and meant to say exactly but also meant to say fucken exactly and it came out as fuckzactly.
Seems to work.
This is something nowadays people CAN'T do! You speak and immediately get interrupted because they have to put in the mouth on themselves, that just shows how selfish and not educated are a lot of people
If you try to be what you are not, you will end up caught sooner or later, truth always comes out
I agree with you, people seem unable to do this fundamental thing.
100 percent correct!
Coffee and its magic to help us reflect...
You are so right in every word you bring us on this occasion to round out a series of necessary analyses.
Blessed be imperfection and authenticity!
Some like hiding their flaws, pretending, lying and misrepresenting to others. There's a time to keep things more private but I believe that people who seek to deceive others about who they actually are as a person are underhanded and untrustworthy.
Unfortunately, that's the way it is... But let's hope that authenticity prevails. In the meantime, it's up to each of us to remain genuine.
Hugs!
Do you think most people are authentic or most people are not? Where do you see the balance tipping...or is it evenly balanced?
I don't like to generalize, but I do believe that many have lost their authenticity in pursuit of superficiality to fit into the canons imposed by society.
I agree with you.
Some people are just easier to hold eye contact with. I am very conscious of my feet when talking to person these days, to make sure they're angled correctly. Being conscious of these things are important.
Sometimes, with good friends, it is okay to just be "fuck it, I love you, and you know this, so lets just enjoy the quiet together."
Body language is super important.
Example:
Eyes carefully placed right on dem boobs!
I usually make it a habit to remember the names of anyone I meet for the first time, which I learned from a positive thinking book I read a few years ago. I only remember a few of their details, and I do more listening to their stories than talking. They actually like it when we listen to their stories. Similarly, when we meet again one day, he was surprised when I called him by his name. Through this, we have developed interpersonal relationships.
Do you find it difficult to remember people's names and do you have a method to help you remember?
It is not difficult for me to remember the names of the local people I meet. It is easier to remember a three or four letter name. Therefore, I do not follow a specific method for it. However, since the names of Muslims, Tamils and foreigners are long, I note the name and the date of the meeting in the notebook of my mobile phone.
Smart.
I remember conversations I had when I was in charge of people and when I wasn't. I would tell them: I don't know everything, but what I don't know, I can research and bring you the information.
I believe that looks speak volumes, so I always prefer to look people in the eye to see what they have to say to me, and they tell me a lot, even when I should stay away from someone.
Remembering names... something I was taught to be successful in sales. I can assure you it worked, and they never forgot mine.
I reckon you've let your eyes drop to the bulging package of a handsome fellow now and then.
The order would be: eyes, hands and... if it ever happened, eyes were made for looking.🤣
I get it.
Another essential thing... the voice. I pay close attention to the voice.
Well, I kinda disagree about hiding your flaws. We are all obviously flawed in some way, but broadcasting it to everyone we meet only sets us up in the future. Some people may use it against us, especially in the workplace.
I'll say present the best version of yourself as much as possible to the World. Only those you truly love deserve to see those flaws
Yeah, loads of people do that, (hide their flaws) and present to people in ways that may not reflect their true self. In the work place that may work, but it often leads to the wrong people being promoted or put into positions of responsibility. In one's personal life, presenting as other than one is can lead to poor relationships through attracting the wrong people I suppose; other things besides.
You've taken it quite literally as is your prerogative. I think some sense needs to be applied though; there's right and wrong times for everything.
Number 2 on the first part is definitely one I struggle with. I always try to relate things to something personal or reply with a personal story and I know that isn't polite.
There's always (usually) a way around the things we're not comfortable with.
I'm definitely trying. It's hard breaking 40 years of habits.
Yeah indeed, that's difficult for all of us. Still, if it's an improvement then it's worth a try.
Thank you for these tips. Must admit that how can find myself in some situations. One should always be hmm thoughtful when making social interactions. Not just let it be in automatic mode.
Indeed.