Because the people who raised you trained you to be like them. You watched them walk, and learned how. You watched them talk, and learned how. And you watched them hide their true desires using bribes, threats, guilt, blame, victimhood, excuses, and more as tools to ‘get what they want.’ And you learned how. You quickly learned to abandon honest, direct communication of your desires in favor of lying to yourself and others using terrible communication habits to get what you want. Most parents, teachers, and peers are a terrible place to learn communication from, they are not masters, artists, or teachers of communication… but they’re all you had.”
This hit me hard. Not only did I learn from my parents their crap ways of communicating but I passed them on to my own kids who now are struggling with me to communicate effectively. I mean, I always considered myself excellent at communication but I am NOT. I mean, I'm getting way better but this. omg. Kinda goes with my post about blaming external forces too. Because my parents are big on that and so was I for years. Now my kids.
anyway, it's good to know that no matter where we are with our communication skills we can still improve. This is sooooooo good. And I know part 2 is even better. That ending 😍
“Yes, but because most self-proclaimed ‘spiritual’ people believe spirituality means distancing oneself from 'material things', and they see ‘making money’ as quite material, they’ll resist anything phrased in those terms.
I recently had someone lecturing me on "doing business" because they wanted "fruits of their labor" but wasn't into "business" LOL. When I explained that their "fruits" mean money even if they don't like that word. It's still MONEY because your landlord ain't gonna take fruit as payment. They were cool about it but still didn't understand lol he was nitpicking at the words instead of focusing on the advice there for him to grow his fruit.
“It is but there are lots of persuasion methods amateur communicators ignore, then they wonder why no one responds to what they offer.”
This is why many small businesses fail. Why so many content creators fail. Why many people can't "get what they want". Persuasion is everywhere and it's amazing. Again, a wonderful lesson you gave me. Can't wait to see it in part two!!!
Excellent article @ryzeonline. My favorite by far. But it could be that I love You AND I love communication in all forms. So putting the two together was perfection to me. Thank You for this. I'm psyched to share it with the world
~Con mucho amor,
Cyn
I'm glad that part resonated with you.
Each generation is (ideally) meant to get better at communication than the previous one, but it depends on the individual in the end. You make a really good point about how the chain-of-pain gets passed down. Never too late to break it though!
I finally got the ending posted :)
Yeah, sounds like a 'spiritual' type who wants to distance themselves from 'material' language, not realizing it's all connected.
Yeah, persuasion is a whole other topic, that's why I linked to our Persuasion Guide in my post. Great point!
I appreciate all the kind words, love, and help with the article. And I especially appreciate shares, thanks so much! 😀❤️🙏
the "chain-of-pain" (good line) has to be broken and that's what I'm aiming to do as well.
I'm glad you linked the persuasion guide. It's so good as well but all of Your writing is tbh.
It's always my pleasure to share Your work. It's always helpful and I only share good stuff 😉🙏❤️
Keep #ryzing ! :)
My pleasure, woooo! 🙏
I'm right there with you on the parenting thing @cynshineonline. I am aware that I communicate sometimes in ineffective ways to my children which are the same ways my parents communicated with me. I even told my younger self I would never do that to my kids...huh yikes it's happening. 😬
I appreciate that this post got me thinking about this and how I need to do better with my parental communication.
We can do this, we have the power to change the cycle. 😊❤️
I did the same. I'm never going to tell my kids "because I said so" omg and I did it a lot. And that's just a tiny example lol. So I feel you. but self-awareness is amazing and then we can admit it and change it. It's amazing!
I love that Jay's post got you thinking. It did for me too! We definitely have the power to change the cycle. Everything in our life is internal and nothing is external. We have the power. Maybe you might like my newest post about external "blame" if not all good.
Wishing you a wonderful day full of more self-awareness and change
❤️
Hahaha oh yes the famous parent line
I have definitely been there too. 😅
Thanks for leaving the link. I will definitely pay it a visit. 😉
You have a wonderful day as well ~
❤️