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RE: A Case of the Pumpkins -- a five-minute #freewrite

in Freewriters • 5 years ago (edited)

It wasn't on my NaNoWriMo draft -- I wrote it, but refused to post it. OMG I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND I'M LAUGHING.

It's really terrible.

hahaha.PNG

That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.

“I’ve been disappointed since this afternoon and everything has horrified me sinceabout then too, but I understand,” she murmured, closing her eyes and waiting for the mead to slowly disappear. “I bet you my aura is tasty, though. Can you taste auras?” She giggled.He paused for a moment, and then whispered, “I can taste you…”

I CAN TASTE YOU. really.
That's just the end... the beginning of the scene is even worse.

5 years ago in Freewriters by
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     5 years ago (edited) 

    It won't let me edit my comment... so... replying to myself.

    That's just the end of the scene -- the beginning is so much worse.

    “I’ve been disappointed since this afternoon and everything has horrified me since about then too, but I understand,” she murmured, closing her eyes and waiting for the mead to slowly disappear. “I bet you my aura is tasty, though. Can you taste auras?” She giggled. He paused for a moment, and then whispered, “I can taste you…”

    I CAN TASTE YOU. really.

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       5 years ago  

      Both excerpts are really much, much better than you think. :)

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