We never really celebrated Father's Day - I think we saw Dad often enough that we didn't feel the need to have a special day for him. My sister sent me this photo last weekend though on the Australian father's day and we had a bit of a chat about what Dad was like. That's me in the centre with my much loved Ray Bans. Dad's sporting a fabulous moustache and looks like he should be in a film set in the Alps, any alps.
This photo (taken in late 1987) was a historic because it was the first and only time Dad ever swore at my sister. Like, really swore. A snowstorm was coming in and my sister, dead scared, sat in the snow and refused to move. Me, of course, was squealing excitedly down the mountain, caught up in the adrenaline rush and excitement and not realising that they were behind me caught in a little Dad-daughter drama. Dad's swearing shocked my sister in action, and we all survived. I can still remember the sound of the skiis in the snow, all those years ago, the inability to see ten feet in front of me.
We remember many moments like that - Dad taking us down the coast for a swim on a 40 degree day and the burning gum leaves falling down on us from a bushfire, Dad making me paddle into some pretty big waves, Dad making us run up stairs, Dad taking us down the waterslide, Dad bareback horseriding with us (even though he used to be scared of horses, he still got involved because we wanted horses, which resulted one day in him falling off and pissing blood that night), Dad coming on family holidays to Bali, to New Zealand, on camping trips, going on bushwalks to distant waterfalls, surf trips down the coast, yoga challenges (he was doing hot yoga at 60, kiteboarding still at 75)
When asked by his brother whether he wished he'd had boys, Dad was speechless. I dont think he'd ever thought about it. Us girls were always up for an adventure and he loved us to bits. What had gender got to do with it?
Remembering these adventures made me think a lot about what we're still grieving - Dad coming on adventures with us, no matter how old. Bushwalks and bike rides and trips overseas. Even having our own adventures now seem less exciting because we can't tell him about it anymore - he's the first person we think to tell when something wild happens, something fun, adventurous.
But here we are still, both girls, having adventures, without him.
He'd be proud.
With Love,
My grandma always blames my uncles and dad for the way I was brought up, lol. Ah, the masculine energy of a father figure helped us grow and feel safe, allowing us to be the best feminine versions of ourselves.
I was about to ask how you were doing. That really stings. I can never find the right words to console you, simply because nothing can ever fill that absence. But that was a beautiful memory of him. And of course he'd be proud.. he raised you, and he knew you'd be fine. Tight hugs. ❤️🩹💖
You don't need to find the right words, it's enough that you feel love enough to write 💞 the beautiful words you do. One thing I know is that we all suffer grief and loss, and it's this shared experience that connects us. Often I write just as catharsis - I'm not walking round in desperate sadness every second, and I think writing about him helps. I'm always grateful for anyone who takes time to read YET AGAIN about Dad, haha!
That's true what you say - a good Dad makes his daughters feel loved and secure. I really like that. It was certainly true of mine.
Oh, I don't really mind. In fact, I love that i can feel the weave of emotions in every word you write. I'm just so slow to respond these days. Sometimes I read and mentally reply, then completely forget to actually put it into words, haha.
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It’s good to have at least a bit of an adventurous spirit in life, especially when you’re young. Otherwise, things would be boring.
I'm trying to hold onto that spirit as best I can. He did, right to the end..
While reading your blog, I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, you really live such a beautiful and carefree life with your sister and dad.” You’ve filled your life with so many adventures and meaningful experiences. And with your dad around, it seems like there’s never a boring day, just endless adventures.
It definitely feels like it was more carefree back then. I feel things have changed a lot since he passed.
Lovely memories of your dad. It's so hard, but we manage to make through, don't we?
Yep, we all manage somehow. It's Mums birthday - can't imagine how she's waking up this morning...
So sweet memories! I like to watch my old photos from time to time, they reminds me a lot of beautiful moments and even if I don't have a pic with my dad on the snow similar to your one, your words remind me my dad who loved so much to live adventures with me. Similar to you, when I asked to my dad if he wished he'd had boys instead of 2 girls, he shrugged his shoulders and said me that for him the gender was not important to live our adventures together. I miss him a lot. ❤️
I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you loved him so much, and he was also a good man and a good father. It's so hard missing them so much xx
❤️
You gotta love that ( retro ) photo!
It's priceless isn't it?
Beautiful memories to cherish! May they never fade!