I can totally understand you. It's the same with me as far as running the household goes. I was alone for twenty years and then in August when we moved in together, after the wedding, I am learning to share my kitchen and my space. I'm weird about "clean" and he's much more relaxed on clean and tidy lol I'm learning to bite my tongue, and I'm learning to adapt. But we strong-willed women have a lot to contend with!
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I am afraid that you will be biting your tongue for many years. Sorry to say it does not get easier. I used to be the same way about having a clean house but I have found that I am not nearly as upset if I let the little things go and do my cleaning when he is not home. I do not know why but it is hard to clean with him in the house.
I totally agree and clean when he is out. I'm just in my first six months of this marriage and got settled with having my place my way. I'm learning to loosen up slowly, but it's been so long that habits die hard! I hoped you're well.