There is an indescribable horror that, in my opinion, surpasses any other horror: the inability to sleep.
It seems easy at first, but you discover with time that you have entered a hellish circle. Sleep is not called for, but it comes when it wants it... when you drink a cup of hot milk and get into bed. Which seems comfortable, and when you close your eyes and hear your wife snoring loudly - like every being of pure conscience. And when you anticipate sleep, you discover the horrific truth: sleep never comes when we wait for it.. Follow the neurological details. And the flow of sleep transmitters and serotonin in the brain. This follow-up makes sleep fly from your eyes. You toss and turn. .
Trying to think about many things...memories of the day. Memories of the past...what awaits you tomorrow...then you discover that you are still awake and that numbness is invading your right arm, So you get up and turn around.. It's okay.. This is a more comfortable position.. You may sleep now.. More memories flow. And the sound of snoring. You are now in the past. You meet people who have passed away or died, and you exchange words with them and apologize for actions you committed. A long time ago, you woke up for a moment and realized that it was three o'clock after midnight and you had not slept yet.
Your left arm has become numb. You are trying to sleep on your back. Opening your eyes to look at the flat darkness. This helps. I should sleep, as they say, but they forgot that darkness is good as a writing board... just like in school you write. Your memories are written in chalk on black wood, and an hour passes and then you wake up to find the board full of writing, and you realize that you did not... Sleep later...
You go to the bathroom to empty your bladder. You are tormented by the idea that everyone is asleep, regaining the balance of their nervous system. Everyone is dreaming and going out. His repressed desires are symbolically displayed, while you retain all this blackness. Insomnia is a type of nervous constipation. You cannot empty your nervous bowels of their harmful memories, no matter how hard you try. It seems I'm starting to get numb...
The bed - after all these movements - is no longer welcoming to anyone. The orderly image that suggested relaxation is gone forever, turning into a hostile war zone... a hundred folds in the sheet and a hundred folds in the sheet. It's wrinkled and the pillow will never return to its old state. It's like you're trying to sleep on an armored training ground.
At five in the morning, the light of daylight creeps into the room, a newborn baby girl, and she realizes that everything has become real. Darkness has disappeared, shadows have disappeared, and the dream is no longer possible.
Once again, she goes to the kitchen and drinks a cup of cold milk, hoping to find another hour before her appointment. Work...the birds mock your inability above all the trees in the street.
You turn again a thousand times, and you pray to God to save you from this hell, and then help comes in the form of A firm hand shakes you:
You are now facing the world without the only weapon that God gave to man, and saved him from the clutches of the cheetah and the fangs of The lion is the poison of the snake.. The weapon that made him rule all beings and conquer space: the mind..
You no longer have a mind. Everything is distorted and discolored.. Everything is double.. Every decision is difficult, even raising a cup of tea. Your lips seem to need thought and scrutiny...
Insomnia is an endless horror.. Don't you see this with me?!