Things people say to me as I prepare to travel halfway around the world with my wife and three children, one of whom is only ten months old.
You’re so lucky.
You must be so excited.
I wish I were you.
You’re going to have such a great time.
You must be loaded.
How could they know? How could they know that I’d rather stay home and do nothing, that nothing would make me happier than a week of alone time, just me, by myself, in a quiet house, with no distractions; a week to eat and sleep when I want to, to do nothing when I want to, to explore the creative ideas and urges that I have as much as I want to, to maybe, just maybe, make some progress in pursuing a transition in my life from being employed to being self-employed? How could they know that all their complements just make preparing for this trip more stressful?
It's not something you can just explain to a stranger, that traveling halfway around the world to see your family isn’t exotic, that it’s just like getting in a car and driving across town to go home, only it takes a hell of a lot longer.
To hear and smell you again,
Rain, in summer heat.
listening to me as I
listen to it.
before I had children
and another after.
we leave our footprints and watch
as they wash away
A book said to me, There is nothing
under my jacket.
using both hands
to get off the floor
I thought I would change the world.
But the world changed me.
Truth!
That said, it goes by so quickly. My oldest is only 10 so I'm not out of the woods yet, but these 10 years have flown by so fast. I can easily imagine the next 10 flying by even faster. And then he'll be gone, and my second only a few years later. Like you, I'd also prefer to be home alone instead of these long trips, but when I think of how fast time goes I try to enjoy even the unpleasant things as long as I'm with my kids.
Keep feeding us during your trip. All the best.
Thanks. I’ll do my best to keep the Monday posts regular. Although with the time change, they might come a little later than usual.
I liked your short verses, surely full of experiences of your life. I identify with the number 7.
One day I was a warrior wanting to conquer the world, but I was devoured by the jaws of an absolutist society.
Thanks for sharing.
Good day.
Interesting. I had a couple thoughts when writing that poem. One was that I just didn’t act fast enough and someone else changed the world before I could, and so I was changed by it.
The other was just about learning to let go and not resist. So often we look at the world around us and even the people in it and want to make changes to it (or them). However, if we let go of that desire to conquer and control, and just let ourselves be a part of what is already here, we change, and often in a good way.
Sometimes travel is a lot of stress and bother. Yet when we are doing it, it's a lot easier than planning, saving, and thinking about it!
I agree. Once you step out the door and you’re on the go, you’re moving, doing, problem solving, and things just flow (one way or another). But beforehand, there are a lot of things to consider and prepare.
I was mostly ranting about people not understanding that I’m not actually going on a vacation, even though it is and will be a vacation, I am doing my duty to my family and going home, so that my parents and siblings can connect with my children and vice versa. It’s not like I’m going to a place that I’ve never been before and am super excited to see and try new things.
I feel spoiled even complaining about it, but it’s not easy uprooting school kids for a month, making sure they keep up with their school work while they’re away, making sure that everyone involved can overcome the language barriers that exist, making sure that everyone is mostly satisfied with the experience for three weeks. It’s a major juggling act, but unless someone has done something like this, it’s impossible to know.
And so when people imagine over and over again that I’m going to spend three weeks relaxing on a beach in Hawaii, or living it up in New York City, I’m just like, you are so wrong. It’s not like that at all.
How can another soul "guess" our utmost wishes and expectations? People give feedback based on their own perspectives, experiences, beliefs and behavioral patterns. The most important thing is to listen to our innate intelligence as it will help us navigate this journey and adventure more joyously.
No #2 is my favorite 😊
Of course, you are right. I think I’m just stressed about a number of things and so they’re incorrect assumptions about my upcoming trip have been getting on my nerves. It happens.
You liked number two. I was torn about the final line. Initially I finished it with listen to the earth. I really like how that line stands alone, but reading the poem all together I felt like using it gave the poem a little more flow. I also toyed with using the word world instead of earth.
Thank you for commenting.
Naaa, using earth twice would have been odd. Finishing with "listen to it" enables the poem to be balanced and in a state of flow. And I prefer "earth" over "world" as it makes it more palpable, more tangible somehow. Yeah, no 2 is definitely my favorite 😊
Thanks for the feedback. It’s nice to know what others think about these little editorial decisions.
I completely understand! I've been traveling a lot this month, putting my stuff, my dog and myself into a car and driving long distances. While the visits were pleasant, how I long, now, to just stay home for a while. I don't even want to drive across town. It's so much work to get ready to go on a long trip, and so much work to do when you get home. When I had to do it with my three kids and hubby, it was far more work. Am I stressing you out with this comment?
Love the shots and the poems. I started using two hands to get off the floor about 15 years ago. Now I try not to get down on the floor at all if I can help it. Not possible with a ten month old!!!
May you have deep and restful sleeps on your trip, and find the time there relaxing, not teeming with family drama. Do they live in a lovely place at least? Or is there loveliness nearby that you can access?
I can feel the anxiety. I just went from Virginia to Michigan to get some stuff and see my daughter, and that trip contained more than enough of all the issues you mentioned!
Well, you must be in the States by now. Sorry I missed this post I was romping around Kobe & Atami. Traveling with the fam is definitely not exotic and quite a chore. Trust me though, you'll have a lot of free time and nostalgia of the time your kids were growing up when they leave the nest. It flies by man. Enjoy the States.