You have been pressed sore to the bone
Your round shape has formed an edge like the cone
Everyone sees you and just want to gather a stone
You feel like your every move is being watched like a drone
There is no one whose got you that you can call on a phone
It's easier, without support in this world to feel alone
I know you have battles raging in your head, just have it toned
Life sometimes doesn't get easier but we have to keep pushing
Pushing through it and it gets easier along the way
You've got to exert twice the energy because life gives in to pressure too
Everything will be alright but you have to make the effort
You will get through those stages but you have to make the effort
Nothing is handed over to you on a platter, so make the effort
It might not get easier but you can be sure it would be worth it
If you don't write that book then no one would read it
If you don't sing that song, how else are we to listen?
If you don't take that step, how else are you to move?
Don't confuse revolving with progress, ask the barber's chair...
That moves on the same spot without leaving the spot
It's easier to get lost in the crowd but you have to make efforts to be seen
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.
What happened Ola, nowhere to stick blown, sewn, torn, sworn, horn, or any of those??? lol. What was that? Oh, just another excellent post from @olawallium hahahaha!!!
This post was obtained through Dreemport.
🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣 I didn't use the rhymes for this, sorry but I will do soon. Thank you so much.
Hi Olawalium. another great poem & one with a great motivational message.
If you don't mind I'll suggest some things to look at when you redraught to piece.
from the opening 7 lines it looks like you may be considering a rhyme scheme as they all end with words which rhyme in the ear & eye, but the scheme then disappears. then, a little later on, you end 3 consecutive lines with the same 3 word refrain, which makes for nice emphasis, but is jarring in the reading.
I don't know if you have considered playing with some more formalised poetical forms where rhymes and repetitions are built into the structure. If you haven't then the sonnet is a great form to look at, and the villanelle is a challenging but really exciting form.
look forward to reading more of your work.
I think this is very useful advice, Stuart. Olawale has some great messages to share... and poetry doesn't have to rhyme, but when a mix doesn't stick to a pattern, it does tend to make it a bit more difficult to gel with the rhythm. I think it would be good if a more formalised approach was attempted. I think he would be good at it! !PIZZA @olawalium I enjoyed your message here... I always do :-)
Thank you so much. Yes, I'm used to this pattern of sharing my thoughts through my poem. I wish I understand the style he is talking about but I'm open to learning it. Who knows maybe this style I'm using is what I can own and carve as mine 😍😍😍. Thank you so much. Your support warms my heart and it delights my soul.
!LOLZ ... I think Stuart is just suggesting that it may work better if you either rhymed in a consistent pattern or wrote it as prose... If you use an existing structured form of poem then the rhythm remains constant and easier to read. Nothing wrong with beating your own path either 💗 I guess with all creative works... it is all a honing of the craft over time. !LUV
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Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. I will work better on this...either rhyming all through or just sticking to without it. You are a blessing to me.
I'd say play with it and see what feels best to you... but just as good grammar improves our prose, so too can good rhythm and meter improve poetry. As always it is just opinion and you must own your creative space and works 💗💗💗
Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate this. God bless your heart always 💖💕💕💜😍😍
Thank you so much and I hope to learn more on the style you are talking about. I enjoy pencilling my thoughts into poetry and sometimes they won't always rhyme while other times they do. I will try the best I can. Thank you.
This is a really nice poem, filled with wisdom.
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