The COMedy Rumble: More Than I Can Chew.

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago

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When our parents used to warn us back then we think they were being excessive. "Don't bite more than you can chew" they would say. I had more than I can handle. You don't know what you have until you lose that voice of influence over your life. When we were little, I know you must have been told never to do things because others were doing them. I did what I wasn't supposed to do and I left myself not only embarrassed but...let me just keep quiet because I can't even express the feeling. It's coming with anger and regret 😂.

I visited my cousins (I don't know why cousins are the ones at the receiving ends of embarrassing and humorous stories) and they always look at me like I am this kind of person that isn't as rugged as they are. They always treat me like eggs and that day I felt I just have to prove them wrong. I got there late in the evening and after greeting everyone around I went straight to the balcony to get more fresh hair. My cousin walked past me and I asked where he was heading. You know when you just get to a new place, you have that desire to always want to be everywhere. He told me in a hushed tone that he wants to go and get a drink. I stood up within seconds and we went there together.

He ordered this gin in a small plastic bottle and asked if I wanted one. I told him yes because I wanted to act cool. He told me that he mixed that gin - Kaserpreko (that's the name) with condensed milk and the effect it had on him gave him the energy he needed to enjoy intense sex with a lady then. I was interested, yes, who wouldn't? 🙈

He bought both for me and we hid them as we went back into the house through the kitchen door and straight into his room which he shared with my other cousin who is his elder brother. It was around 8 pm when we started enjoying our drinks after we have had dinner. It was going so well but I made sure I ate just a little food because I know my tummy is small. I can't handle too many things at once. I intentionally created space for the drinks afterwards.


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I mixed my drink with the milk and I was sipping it. I was almost done with the drink before I slept off and that was all I could remember. I remembered having a dream that I was swimming and I was even flapping my arms in the dream. I didn't know I was swimming in my vomit. I didn't know until my cousin woke me up and was removing my clothes. It was pitch dark, there was no electricity. They took the light after I slept off and my cousin told me later that it was the reason why I threw up because everywhere was hot and that was why they went outside to get fresh air and since I was sleeping, they didn't wake me.

He took off my clothes and dragged me quietly into the bathroom. It was midnight already and just my two cousins were awake. He poured water on me while my other cousin was busy mopping the room. He covered me with a blanket and I slept off again. The next day was full of humour for them but embarrassment for me 🙈. I was trying too hard to blend but I proved to them I was trying too hard 😂. When my other female cousins came to the room the next day and noticed some of the gadgets were moved, my other cousin just told them he did a bit of cleaning that morning 😂🤣 he covered my shame 🤣😂🙈.

Thank God I slept off on the floor that day, I would have made it obvious if I did that on the bed. It was after the shower and being wrapped with a duvet that I slept on the bed, never to embarrass myself again 😂🤣. Let me laugh at myself so I won't feel bad about your taunts. Alcohol and I stopped being friends that day.

I nominate @opeyemioguns and @princefm. You can join by clicking here

Cheers.

Gingered Up! ❣️

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🤣 Champion of Capua, you got me laughing hard. This is what mostly happens when we are trying to prove to people what we are not.

Your cousins really tried because the day I tried cleaning my brother up like that, I threw up as well. I couldn't even stand the odor of the room.

I slept in a hotel that night, he did it again so I recorded a video for him to see. He stopped drinking since then but he claimed that it was the heat that made him throw up.

Champion of Capua 🤣🤣😂😂🤣 I can't stop laughing reading that.

Your video did the trick for him, a reminder for him never to mess up again. So I heard too that heat makes it worse I guess that's why most people like drinking in a well ventilated area. I won't be trying it again 😂

Thank you 😊🤗

Lolz, I trust you on that.

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