AMERICAN CONCEPTS THAT WOULD NEVER WORK IN NIGERIA

in Comedy Open Mic11 months ago

Picsart_23-08-23_13-34-21-120.jpg
Image 1 flag source
Image 2 haunted house source
Image 3 tip jar source
Edited with PicsArt

When it comes to the way the a country operates,
Nigeria is very unpredictable.

This is a country filled with some of the most insane and eccentric humans you'd ever encounter.
Due to this, some concepts that would work or thrive in other countries would not see the light of day here.

And when we talk about countries with vastly different concepts, America has gotta be the polar opposite of Nigeria.

So many things that they do there would be absolutely ridiculous here.

And in this article,
I'll be focusing on those things.

it's time for the breakdown.

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1. HAUNTED HOUSES

If there's one thing I don't understand about Americans, it's their obsession with putting themselves through fearful situations.

Skydiving, bungee jumping, escape rooms, haunted houses,...

what is with these people!

It's like they're born with an addiction to adrenaline

Now some of these may be okay for Nigerians to try out
but no way in hell will any normal Nigerian try out haunted houses.

Because why should we?

what is the gain??

One of the greatness weaknesses of our people is that we are very superstitious,

but this is also a strength.

Our fear of the supernatural enables us to be extra careful.
If we hear a strange sound, we run.
If we see something strange, we exit.

We don't take stupid chances.

In all the horror movies you've watched, have you ever seen a Nigerian die?

exactly.

anything haunted or spiritual, we don't joke with it.
so haunted houses will always be a big NO.

2. TIPPING

Tipping culture in America is something I don't understand.

Imagine me going to a restaurant to eat, I am given the food.
I pay for the food.

Transaction completed right?

no.

Apparently I have to pay at least 15% of the price of the food I ate as a tip...

For what

I understand if the waiter does a good job and you feel like giving him/her something to appreciate them,
but that's not how it works over there.

Tipping is expected, no matter how poor the service is.

I understand that waiters are not being paid well, but that's not my fault

me myself, am I being paid well??

And if you don't tip, then they'll make you feel bad as possible about it.

Well
not in Nigeria
it's already hard enough to make money here, and you think you can make me feel bad about not adding extra for you?

if my bill is 1255 naira
you better believe I'm transferring exactly 1255 naira.
No approximation,
No rounding up.

3. PRANK CALLS

Imagine spending 4 hours in terrible traffic,

the battery of your phone is low and there's no light to charge it.

you'll probably have to eat garri cuz you haven't collected pay.

and you're on 3 hours of sleep and you still have to wake up 5am for work and repeat the entire cycle all over again.

Tell me

is that the kind of person you should prank call,

If I prank call you,

won't you curse me and my generation?

won't the curse take effect.

Nigeria is mostly made up of these kind of people

Prank calls are definitely not a good idea.

4. EATING CONTESTS

If you're a Nigerian and you're reading this,
I want you to think about the last time you heard anything like eating contest.

Exactly.

Those don't exist over here.

Anyone that tries it will go bankrupt.

Until you organize an eating contest and there's no winner for 7 hours, that's when you'll know you made a mistake.

Nigerians will enter eating contest, eat and eat and eat and they'll still take home.

Nigerians don't joke with free food mehn.

IN CONCLUSION...
Skydiving is scary asf

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,

Maximus.

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Lol, why would I ever want to go into an abandoned house on the edge of town at midnight. All the while shouting "Hello, anybody there"

Lol
Sometimes, waiters themselves ask for tips like I am keeping their money inside my pocket.

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AHahhhh.
You have said our naija secret to the world oo