If you remember nothing else please remember this.
.... every person is valuable
.... and your a person.
You may not feel valuable (I've certainly been there).
Other people may not see your value.
Some people may actively try to make you forget your value.
The fact still remains... you are valuable.
As for trying to "appear fine" for other people... too much work if you ask me. Pretending to be something I'm not is way too much work.
Over time I've learned I'm just me, I want to be the best me I can and my past doesn't define my future. The past DOES set me on the path in currently on but while I breathe I can change.
I believe the community here is cheering for you.. and not because we think your a cockroach but because we think your awesome.
Keep fighting
And take care
I guess because of my upbringing, I couldn't recognize myself ever. I never told myself to stop, that's enough instead I was in thrust of doing everything more than enough to please others. Yes, to please others by comparing myself to others. And that's a huge thing because I never understood my value and my capability. I had enough, I needed to heal but instead, I pushed myself to chase the word "more and more". That "more/ enough" never arrived instead, my inside became empty at last. As a result, I did try to end my life and ended up being in therapy for a long time...
After doing so much and then ending up at zero point do hurts...It causes pain, anger, and stress and later after the mental fight; ends up in depression...
Hive was always a safe place for me because I knew this community cared and wouldn't judge me. I spent my life being judged by others and now I judge myself sadly...
Past definitely doesn't define the future but unfortunately, my past is affecting my present badly...
Thank you so much for all the support, I do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart...