Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain
This weekend we were playing around drawing funny fishes. She was holding my hand that was holding the pen and then she was directing it, so of course it was a bit wonky but that was half the fun of it.
We were having good fun and then she wanted to cut pages out of the book so that we could make more and while doing it, she cut her finger. I immediately knew that it was going to be sore and she kinda just stood looking at it before she said "mommy I cut my finger" - I was already moving to get the first aid kit. Instinctively I knew that if I made a big deal of it, that she would then treat it as more severe than it was. I simply agreed with her saying I'm so sorry that it happened and that we would get it patched up in no time.
She nodded stoicly and every step of the first aid process I told her what I was doing so that 1) she knew and could see what I was doing and 2) I could use it as a teaching moment about simple first aid.
I explained when I put on the antiseptic foam that it may sting or burn but that just meant it was busy doing it's job and fighting off any germs that got into the cut and that once they were all dead, the stinging would stop. I was expecting tears but none came, she just asked me "what's next mom?"
So I moved on to getting the band aids and asking her what colour she would like. The last shocking pink one of course - so I put the Betadene onto the bandaid and showed LL that the ointment needs to go onto the part that is cut to help it heal. She watched intently and then I wrapped it and asked her if I could put healing kisses ontop. "Yes please mommy". So I did and then I gave her a big hug and told her she is such a brave girl. She thanked me for the band-aid and then showed it off like her latest fasion accessory. Kids lol.
Being a mom is not easy. It's beautiful and bountiful and it makes you truly appreciate life and all the complexities of it, but it's also busy and stressful at the best of times.
I have been exceptionally fortunate that LL has been a very healthy and happy little girl since the day she was born. Very little has got her down through the years and she has tought me more in those years than I learned from the three decades prior.
You end up wearing a LOT of different hats when you're mom, often conflicting ones. Comforter, disciplinarian, friend, mentor, instructor, nurse, chef, chauffeur, field guide, farmer, playmate the list goes on. How many of these do we actually tend to master through the years? Hopefully the first one - MOM.
I don't think I was one of those "born to be a mom" people and for the first few months of her life I was an anxious mess always second guessing everything because I was chasing that ever elusive "perfect mom" ideal. Impossible and unnecessary. I'm totally flawed and my kid gets bumps, bruises and sometimes cuts her fingers. Anyone want to judge that - go ahead but I'm pretty sure that everyone who has kids has had this kind of thing happen before. I also won't imprint on her that she needs to try and be perfect and never fall or hurt herself, I'm then setting her up for failure expecting things that are beyond anyone's reach really. I rather tell her that these things happen but that we have to bounce back, get back up and keep going.
So yesterday while I was expecting tears and a bit of drama, they never came and I was very proud of how brave she was but I also told her afterwards that it's ok to cry when things are sore and I often re-iterate that to her. She cries freely when she is sad or upset and I'm fine with that and feel that it is healthy.
So while I'm far from perfect and the first to admit it, I thought about how we dealt with that situation and it couldn't have been better. Obviously it sucks that she was hurt, but she bounced back pretty fast and that's what's important. I need her to be resilient for what life might throw at her and it starts at day one, not when she's 18 years old.
I feel like I mastered the MOM part yesterday. Some days are better than others and some days are more like bowling - sorta "hit 'n miss" - but this morning she woke up ready to tackle the day. We had extra cuddles and she proudly showed me her cut declaring "look mom, it's healing". I smiled knowing she's dusted herself off already.
If I didn't know better I'd say that drawing is me! I look exactly like that at 4:59pm Friday afternoon.
I'm not a parent so can't comment much except to say, from what I know you're a good one. ✅
Hahaha it's cute isn't it? You really do love your weekends!
Thanks Galen. I've kept her alive for almost 5 years so there's that at least 🤣 Have a good day. I know it's only Monday, but it'll be Thursday soon enough.
Yeah, it's a short week. I'm sort of happy...Although will be happier come Thursday at 5pm!
I almost got the likeness right... You on Thursday at 4:59pm
(Used with permission)
Bwahaha...That's gold!
You nailed the eyes for sure, my ears too; they're exactly like that!
I'm glad you like it. I think it works, even LL had a chuckle 😁
It's chuckle worthy.
Liked how you said you mastered being a mom after the incident... because one thing i fear the most is seeing my baby injured or sore.
He is a rough player and everyone keeps saying it is inevitable that injury is what makes them kids ... i chose to disagree because I don’t know how i would feel if he gets hurt in anyway😒
Hello Esther
Thanks for your message. I know what you mean. I was petrified of LL hurting herself originally and I fully admit to being a helicopter parent for a good while and then it seemed that I was actually hindering her progress. She is now super careful and scared of some things that kids her age normally aren't.
Kids need to be able to be kids. It was a very difficult thing for me to have to learn but now that she's almost 5, I have to let her do her thing and experience childhood, that comes with a few bumps, cuts and bruises.
Yh i may just have to accept that too.. and let him be a kid
Your child gets bumps, cuts and bruises. I can relate to that as I was a child once also and received more than I can count. As an adult those bumps, cuts and bruises became more emotional I suppose, but they hurt all the same. I don't recall all of them however I like to think that each taught me something.
Have a happy day.
Hello Becca
Thanks so much for stopping by. I'm so glad that you have made Hive your home, it's a very cool place and I know you'll find the right people.
Gosh yes I agree, I think that maybe all those falls theoretically teach us how to get up from all the emotional cuts, bumps and bruises too and finding the lesson from each think that makes us sad (or happy) is an important part of finding meaning and purpose in our lives, it is for me anyway.
I hope you get a very warm welcome here.
Ciao
Andy
It's very cool and completely daunting...I'm freaking out! Breathe Bec, breathe.
Thank you for answering and making me feel welcome, most have been so lovely. Have a lovely morning, or night, or day, or...Just have a lovely everything. 🙃