The Memories Still Hurts

in Motherhood2 years ago (edited)

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Rob Tol

Waking up to the melodic sound of birds chirping, my body pressed upon my soft mattress, the sheets felt like I was resting on a pile of feathers, inhaling the soft aroma of my mum's cooking, this was what peace felt like.

Once upon a time I lived in fear, fear of judgment, fear living, fear of breathing, The images I have of him ignite more pains when I look at them, knowing he made the worst impact on me, not just me but my mum and little brother, he made himself a god, he treated us like we were actually nothing , fear of the man whom they call my father!

A man who made living seem like a burden, I hoped that freedom to live without fear would peek through the window, just a glimpse, I prayed for just a glimpse!

The sight of my mum weeping in agony would never exit my memory, the bruises and scars he left still appear like fresh wounds, her sound of tears late at night, oh how I wished for a happy life!

My days of feeling down, suicidal thoughts and anguish, I thought escaping from all the drama would solve my problem, then I remembered, how could I do that to my mother, not at her saddest moment, not when she needed me the most!

Seeing him made me scared, having no friends made it hard to have someone who could comfort me, no one wanted to be close to me, it was like I had a plague, I wished I could disappear, but where to? whom to? Who would accept me if I told them what really has happened, they may think my problems were airborne.

His family act like nothing happened when they know the story down to the roots, how evil could life literally get, I have a granddaddy whom I haven’t talked to in five years, an aunt who doesn’t reach out to me, uncles who don’t care about my existence, but it doesn’t matter, i have been through a lot and I overcame, I don’t let myself get bothered with petty issues anymore, on my way to get my best life!

I am glad it is all in the past now, and trying go get the scars out of my head, healing is hard but it’s all a process, it’ll happen eventually.

This is the story of a friend I just met recently on the tennis court. Imagine what she has gone through living. Life wasn’t life for her and why?

Because someone who should have protected and guided her decided to be a di*k. Why get married if you know you won’t be a great person to your partner?
Just as how sad this story is, there are lot more, much worse than this and it saddens my heart to know that this kind of thing exits. If we can’t love ourselves, then there is no need to be together.

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Glad she has survived to tell the tale
I wish her strength and love as she leaves her last behind
I wish her all the best

🧚🏽‍♀️Here via @dreemport

I'm happy she is doing great.
I'm going to call her right away.
You made me remember her.
Haha thanks

I'm glad that your tennis court friend found you and had someone to share her story with. You told her story well. As a child, I was raised in just such a home and I know exactly what she is talking about when relatives know the truth and choose to look the other way.

No woman should endure abuse and no child should have their childhood stolen by living in fear of the very people who are supposed to love and cherish them.

I'm here to curate your post through @dreemport and I'm glad that I found it!

Oh @blueeyes8960 I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like this but I'm happy that you are doing really well now.

I hope the past don't hurt you so much, it could be difficult to forget such and experience but letting go and leaving the past would definitely do

Thanks for reading and upvoting me

So glad it’s all in the past. People go through a lot and it’s best to be nice to people we meet cos we don’t know the emotional battle they fight everyday just to stay alive.

Hi, khoola from @dreemport

I do know a guy who hurts his wife, of course, I can't do anything about it unless the girl herself asks for help... and decided enough is enough.

Best I can do is make my presence felt, and teach the young boys what being a man is, as my father taught me.

Educating young boys and girls is the only way I know how to change this...

Well said my man.
I'm still very sad that the majority of this cases are of men abusing women.
Why do men do this things, or what makes men do this things

Generally.. in men, it is because of poor upbringing... and the environment they live in, that says it is alright to do so, and that abusing women can be justified and can go unpunished.

In women, they believe it is alright, they can survive it, for their children or they don't have a choice. Just think, no man can abuse a woman who can stand on her own two feet and walk away.

Education and proper upbringing.. can change a lot, as change starts at Home. I don't waste my time trying to change grown men.. but I spend a lot of time and effort trying to change the next generation, as I myself have a daughter.

In my own small way, teach boys how to become a man... and teach girls how to become independent.

For the current abuse, information can help... letting women know there is a place that they can go to that will help, genuinely. Unless there is, those women will stay that way and the men will think it is alright to do so.

here are but some example of why men do those things in my opinion;

  • some men don't know how to handle women and resulting in violence to end an argument.
  • blaming their partners for their misfortunes
  • misunderstandings
  • scared.. of their own ghost (accusing their partner is cheating on them, or neighbors poisoning their minds)
  • forcing their partners to leave them, so they can be free
  • worst of all culture that says it is okay to do so...

My dear reader.
I'm so happy that you are taking time to educate the new generation.
You are correct that poor information played a part in this act and all.

It's sad that a woman should have to go through this hurtful act.

You said a culture accepts it?
That's scary! What culture?

You said a culture accepts it?

it is not "a" culture... but then again culture has a really broad definition (maybe I misused the word) let us just go with:

"Culture is an umbrella term which encompasses the social behavior and norms found in human societies..." from excerpt wikipedia

You said it yourself in your story... people knew but turned a blind eye, why? If she tells anyone, it will be probably her fault because she isn't a "good" wife, or it is just an accident, and so on and so forth.

this is quite the norm in all countries...

but this and everything else is just my opinion... there are lots of groups whom are more knowledgeable about this. You should ask them for help they have a therapist for your friend to help her cope with the pain and people there whom suffered as well and is well on recovery.

I just remembered a girl whom keeps talking about me about women's rights. 🤣

Oh I understand you my lady.
My friend is alright and she is doing great.

What country are you from?

Philippines.. you?

It is tragic the circumstances under which some are forced to live. I do hope your new friend is now truly free of the shackles of this awful man. Family dynamics have a major impact on the rest of the family, especially the children. I hope she has found a sense of peace and quiet in the aftermath 🙏

Oh sam!
Thanks a lot for asking about her.
She is actually doing really well.
She is kinda a fun girl too.
Haha.
I hope those in relationship as this find the courage to leave or change the situation

Absolutely, it takes a lot of courage and self-belief...and support from loving friends❣️

It's so sad to see those who claim to be in love treating their mate with disdain. I believe it is better to remain single that to marry and cause emotional pain for another person. Time heals all wounds dear, I pray you heal soon.
Dreemport brought me here

Oh well I don't support the fact that he raised hands on her that shouldn't be so... Marriage these days is some one should be extremely careful about in making decisions for themselves... Family not reaching out, Aunt not talking to her and the rest of it is painful yeah but at same time when you remember that you came alone and going to die alone...you would let go of so many attitudes and focus more on yours!.... Life can be sweet and Life can be cruel!

Found this from @dreemport

I hope she finds peace and love!♥️

Well said.
One should focus on oneself and don't put hopes on mere mortal

Some people get married with no intents of being great daddies and good good husbands to their wives. They get married for the sake of it.

It's sad that an innocent child will be brought into mix.

God help us!

@dreemport brought me.