WHAT I EXPECTED OF PREGNANCY ......VERSUS .....WHAT I ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED.

in Motherhood2 years ago

Hello hive this is my next episode on how my unexpected pregnancy dealt with me 😂 😂 😂 In my previous post i shared how hunted i was at the thought of getting pregnant and this post is me realizing how it actually feels.
I kept imagining how blissful it’ll be to get pregnant ASAP and get society off my chest on figuring out when I’ll start having babies given the fact that I am pretty young hence it shouldn’t be a challenge.

Unexpectedly I got pregnant and my goodness the hormonal changes in just 5 weeks is unexplainable. I wouldn’t exactly call 5 weeks of pregnancy just 5 weeks because I normally do not have my first meal of the day until it is probably 12-1pm. However, since I took in I get swiftly weak and dizzy after from 9am.

One of the things I figured out about my hormones were… the meal I used to enjoy before conception is now the meal I detest at the moment and weirdly it has entered into other personal space. All of a sudden, the strong drive I normally have to watch Korean dramas suddenly subsides. I rarely keep a particular k-drama for more than 3 days. 😂 😂 😂 Currently I seem to have the patience to wait until I magically feel like seeing the drama. It more or less feels like I’m no longer the owner of my body irrespective of the fact that I would love to control how my body responds to certain actions.

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I do not even want to bring my mind into exhaustion and dizziness after work. It is always so draining.

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Daily I go through certain post and write up to keep me motivated and updated and what I should as well expect. I think the most tasking part of my pregnancy is eating. I can’t seem to get my mind to eat exactly what I want to eat because at the exact moment there is a meal in front of me the next thing I think of doing is throwing up. I get really sensitive with smells.
You know there is a way you can possibly hear about pregnancy smells and then you imagined it to be in a bit reasonable way
This one comes in a way you can’t control. and there are other times i do not feel pregnant at all.

The easiest part of this journey is that hubby doesn’t demand anything from me especially when he sees me that way and funny enough he’s the one who sees the doctor for me when I have a little challenge with how I am feeling.

I wake up sometimes in the morning feeling completely knocked off, literally wishing I could throw up and feel at ease. I had a talk with my mom telling her in verbatim how I am feeling and she said after sometime I will feel better. I am beginning to think when that better time will come. The whole journey of pregnancy is just something else.

Once a confirmation result is out that you are pregnant it’s almost like the severe symptoms were just waiting for you to get the test result and after that first day excitement, you are down to dealing with loads of inconveniences. This makes me ponder on those that have like 5 pregnancies and I am in awe at the number of times they have to go through all those session trimester by trimester.

Mornings where i have to wake up feeling like i haven't had a single meal in two days, and even when food is prepared for me i am unable to get it past my throat. and whenever i ask for food, i get a response completely off the hook … hubby clearly tells me he doesn’t see the possibility of me eating the food I am insisting on cooking, let alone to finish it. Stating several instances I have made such demands on a meal and I had to put it to waste simply because I lost my appetite right after the meal is done. And truthfully after cooking a particular meal I find it quite difficult to eat.

I am certainly going to make it work this time...

i told myself, i began imagining how delicious it’ll be to eat the meal I was preparing and at the same time I hoped I’ll be able to eat it… of which I still couldn’t eat it.😩😩😩

During the night I could barely feel myself, my head was seriously having its own episode of pain, I was thinking it’s just going to be the usual headache that’ll get better once I just rested. That evening, my husband and I just came back from setting up our new house for us and the baby so it was quite exhausting. On arrival at home, I had to take few pills of paracetamol while hubby assisted in making dinner. We had to work together to make the meal of which I am really grateful to have someone like my hubby who knew that at that point I was barely trying to get through the pains I was feeling. After taking the pills, I slept off in less than 30 minutes waking up at intervals to ensure the food was done after which I slept off again at this point I noticed the headache was gone but I was extremely drowsy.

I was drowsy to a point I couldn’t feel my hands anymore, hubby wondered if it was actually paracetamol I took for the headache we began a search for the pill pack for confirmation and for real it was paracetamol.

I wondered why I was feeling that way, till date I still can’t figure out what exactly made me feel extremely drowsy and weak. Hubby held my hands all through the night as I found it quite difficult to eat the meal. He rushed out in the night to get glucose as he noticed that the last one I drank gave me a bit of strength. As this was few hours to midnight and most surrounding pharmacies had closed. Luckily for us, he was able to locate a chemist and get the glucose.

I drank a handful of it enough to make me feel better and sleepy. After eating the little amount I could eat I finally was able to sleep again. At this point, I was in a bit of comfort. I slept for hours and woke up as the alarm rang. As I heard it, I was thinking it was daybreak only for me to find out it’s just midnight.

I noticed hubby was wide awake watching me, he moved away to turn off the alarm, covered me up against cold and asked me to go back to sleep again.
Writing became an exhausting thing to do, I had to pause at intervals and come back to it because I couldn’t get a hold of my feelings and strength. I spent most of the night feeling drowsy and having creepy nightmares.

I do not know if there are others who have nightmares during pregnancy because I noticed mine since week 5, I had to deal with series of nightmares all night sometimes it comes by episodes and other times I just don’t understand why I have to dream about some things like that.
I am not a type to take dreams seriously it’s just funny that nightmares like this came while my system isn’t as regular as it used to be.

I woke up in deep shock at a particular nightmare,

told hubby about it and after we prayed he tucked me back to sleep again.
I think the most beautiful thing about this journey is how much of a supporting husband I do have. I feel like I am not alone.

To all husbands out there, thank you so much for staying with your wives from day one to the very last moment she brings into the world the most precious gift to you.

MY FIRST TRIMESTER IN WEEKS WAS AN EPISODE OF UNEXPECTED DISCOMFORT AND COUNTING DOWN TO WHEN I WILL FEEL A SLIGHT OF COMFORT. I KEPT WONDERING IF I WILL EVER GET TO FEEL MY OLD SELF AGAIN… I THOUGHT IT’LL BE ALL ROSY AS I SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA 😂 😂 😂 😂 WHAT I EXPECTED OF IT AND WHAT I ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED WERE WORLDS APART….NEXT SERIES COMING SOON…

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