Thank you for sharing about your struggles since having experiencing a stroke. It reminds me of the saying that I don't remember to quote directly but I'm sure you know and sounds something like:
"Don't judge the other as you never know what silent struggles they may be facing."
It reminds me to be humble, as your brother would say, and be compassionate on the occasions when I might do forget.
I used to think that if I didn't beat up on myself, if I actually accepted myself as I am then I've lose all drive to grow. I have come to realise just how much of a lie this is. Where we learned this lie I do not know, but it appears to be a widespread belief and very far from the truth.
I like, love and accept so many more parts of myself than ever before and still I am driven to grow. I see the same in my friends and colleagues who do similar work to me. The drive for growth simply comes from a healthier place, a more sustainable place.
You've said you want to learn how to look after yourself better as well as learn how to take feedback next year. I'm curious Taraz, how do you plan to do that?
(Please hear my tone of voice as one of genuine curiosity rather than one of challenging. I have watched you express yourself on here for much of my time on Hive and view you as a clever man who thinks a lot and attempts to be logical and thoughtful in his problem solving. So I'd love to know how you're going to go about doing these things that I can only image have eluded you until now).
C.
I have been thinking a lot about this over the last year or so and how common it is for everyone to do. It is judging both their failures and successes, without knowing what has led into either side.
Physically, go to the gym and eat better - it is pretty simple, just gotta find a way to actually do it again. I have a mouth full of sweet teeth. Habits take time to build, and bad habits are easy to hold.
Mentally, going to talk to some people about various things that could help. This will help with the emotional state also. There are fundamental differences in the way my brain works now and I probably need more help developing strategies that will work for the "new" me, as after almost half a century, what I have always known is largely irrelevant.
🙏🙌 Sounds like a plan. Or several.