Earlier today, I had a discussion with someone I've not had any interaction with for well over a year; it surprised me that it happened but not in a bad way, just that I'd not expected it. Questions were asked and answered, things were said, and I left the conversation feeling good about it; just knowing that person is thriving, albeit with the usual challenges we all face and a few specific to them, felt good and the feeling has stayed with me.
In the conversation I spoke of honour, integrity and courage in respect of me applying these elements to my life. There's others of course, but in each of us there's core elements which the rest are built upon and for me these are three such things.
It became apparent to me some time ago, that the concept of honour and integrity, the meaning of it, is specific to the individual. With our experiences being different, often unique to us, it's a big ask to expect that they could be applied to all of us in a wholesale way. Me upholding my concept of honour may disadvantage someone else and so they may see it as a compromise of honour when observing it from their position. It's the same with integrity and other such personality traits and behaviours, the use of which are specific to me when I apply them.
Having honour and integrity means a great deal. It is those things that allow me to find courage and it's the latter I've needed in my life. No single element stands out though, there's so many things that have combined to create what my life has been and is today; without one others don't work as well.
I like to think I've made something of my life and despite many having tried to break it, that's yet to happen. I'm resolute and steadfast in many aspects and no one, literally no one, could ever apply more pressure to it than I do myself - That's the nature of me.
But after the conversation with my friend I came to a small epiphany, for lack of a better word. You see, the same honour and integrity I use in a positive way can trip me up sometimes.
Sometimes the manner in which I employ honour and integrity, the courage I find and the way I steadfastly hold to it, can work to my detriment and that of the person I'm trying to show respect for. It's complicated I guess, and maybe I'm not explaining myself well. I guess people see it as stubbornness where I see it as integrity, my own integrity.
I can be rather black or white in most things; grey areas are not a space in which I like to work in as they feel uncontrolled, undefined and indistinct.
When the honour-integrity-courage-resolute-steadfast paradigm is applied - which with me almost always is - well, sometimes things go awry. Is it wrong of me to be so strictly black and white oriented? No, of course not, and to be honest it's not in every single matter that I am. Could I be a little more flexible? The answer to that is a resounding, yes! But all I can ever be is myself, the man-person-human I have been shaped into by others and myself. It's the same for you.
I've had a lot of things taken from me and people try to do so and fail too...But in every case, all throughout my life, I've retained one single thing and that's me. I exist.
Along the way I've learned to strive to be my best version although I fail at that all the time. I have learned to accept that others will think and act commensurate to their own perceptions, needs and wants and that's ok. I've learned that people will see in me whatever ways they choose to see, good bad or indifferent and that's also ok. I've learned that perception truly is a persons reality but that perception is rarely completely accurate. It's all just humans being humans.
I've also learned that if I was to compromise my ethos of honour and integrity and the courage, resoluteness and ownership that they cause me to deploy then I'd be a fraud and my life would be different.
I'm not a fraud, I am the real me.
There's nothing else I can be other than me and combining all the things I've been through in life, the adversity, challenge and failure, good times and bad and the spectacular successes I've had is why I've developed a code as such, the code of G-dog. It's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But neither is anyone, even you.
I work hard to be true to myself, to be honest with myself and to embrace a deep sense of ownership, responsibility, honour and integrity. It's not easy, but to do otherwise would be to be a fraud.
I don't have children and, in truth, that's probably a good thing as I may have made a terrible father; we'll never know I guess.
But I wish I did have children, one at least. It's the thing in life that I regret above all else. Why? Well I feel, and maybe this is hubris talking, that I have a lot to impart to a child and in the society we move into now...those who will be here in the next years will need every help they can get as society breaks down and decays. I have skills, a lot of skills, and I have a lot of collective experience that I feel a young lad or gal could benefit from...But none will get I guess.
I can't summarise my life's experiences and what I've learned through them in a single post, and probably no one cares anyway, but there's a few elements that I can present, just some words that I've taken on board, expanded upon and used in life; these and others are in my life-toolbox.
I am not a handsome man, nor am I the most intelligent, humorous or witty. I am not smooth or suave, the life of the party, wealthy or outstanding in any way at all. I'm just a flawed and fallible man. However, I'm not a fraud. I have values and stick to them though it may be difficult and limiting at times. I apply those words listed above, and more, and I work hard to be...well, just me.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Any images in this post are my own
Very moving and heart-touching post. Thank you for sharing with us, @galenkp
Thanks for saying so, I try to inject a bit of personally into what I write most, sometimes it even works.
Wow man, if you had told me that this article belongs to a philosopher I would have believed you haha. We all have our own values and that's what we live for. I don't know what would be the point of living if I wasn't an honorable, honest person. Everyone interprets these values according to themselves. For some it's not very important.
Thanks mate, a lot of this is the true me I guess, how I feel and think. I generally write like this, meaning I put myself into it, but sometimes it's a little more personal, like in this case.
Exactly right. What I see and feel is honourable you may think as valueless; it's situational and subjective I guess. Also yeah, some think that this stuff is pointless...but it's people who think like this who get things done, hold themselves out there at risk for others and mostly without asking for anything in return. Thankfully we have people like this in the world.
Also...I just wrote that post on my engine tune. It'll land on Tuesday (Australian CST). I thought I'd let you know as you expressed an interest previously.
Thanks for the heads up man. I'm checking my feed every day twice and and reading everything worth my time. So you can be sure I'll read it 😎.
😉
I love that adorable photo of little you.
It's hard not to be who you are... for real... right?
Stubborn.... you???
Yeah, I was cute, or so my mum thought. These days, no one does, but I'm ok with it.
Maybe resolute is a better word. Depends on who's saying it I guess.
I love your mentality see. Our value system is what really defines us. People might forget the things we did, but they will always remember who we are because it is who we are that gives birth to anything we do or the actions we take.
Yep, it's our actions that people respond to I guess right? Our attitudes effect that and the thoughts we have effect the attitudes. It's all linked.
Moving post here man, I think I get the point you're trying to make here. You employed your tried-and-true methodology with this individual and they tripped up for one reason or another and it seems they perhaps grew, matured or changed a little bit and wanted to connect with you, potentially seeing their mistake and trying to right a wrong? That's what I reckon at least.
I hear you on the kids part. I have been doing a lot of introspection lately and I am hoping that I'm able to part the good qualities of humanity onto the little man as best I can, in ways that I know my dad tried to do as best he could but at the disadvantage of being at work so often doing the best he could. I wouldn't change the way I grew up but there are things in the way that I grew up that I know I want to make different with the little man as he grows up. For one, trying to be there as often as I can to teach him things that were not taught to me, in addition to the great things that were taught to me.
I hope that I'm able to pass what I think these good qualities are, in hopes that I can be an agent of positive change for him and my little family, so that we could potentially make positive ripples in the world. We all know that we sorely need more positive ripples!
Things happen that are out of our control, but I'm hoping that you could impart your knowledge, skills and life lessons on a young lad or gal that is a neighbor or someone nearby. I know you have certainly been a good influence on Smallsteps and your other nephew(s) (not sure if there are multiple up north or others) but having one a little more local can help as well.
Partly. Also, that my insistence on that methodology trips me up also, like I'm inflexible and sometimes that costs me something that I might otherwise not have wanted to lose through upholding my values so stringently. Honour and integrity can be a dichotomy, is what I guess I'm trying to say.
If this is what you do then E-dog is in good hands, as I've said before. It's all we can, the best we know how, and that's what my parents did as well, although they got some of it wrong; they were just human after all.
From what I know, you're well on the right track.
I have my niece and nephew and that's something. I do what I can I guess, with whomever is open to it and whilst I'm not always right, I'm always me and there's often something a person can take away from that if they choose.
Not everyone likes that, it's true. But I love this style! I'd rather hear the truth than silence or a fake smile and the words: everything is fine, friend...!
I once sent out an email to my acquaintances asking for an honest feedback about myself. Honest words about what they didn't like about me. And you know, a lot of people just didn't respond. I think it's the fear of offending... But I warned them that I wanted a sincere and tough feedback, unvarnished. I only got one of those from 10%. That was really appreciated. The rest just wasted my time and theirs...
If I'm anything, it's forthright as I don't see a point not to be.
That email you sent was a brave thing, most wouldn't be able to handle the responses I think. Of course, most you sent it to ignored it and for the reasons you mentioned I'd guess.
We can learn a lot about ourselves by the things people see in us. It's not always right though, their perception can be skewed.
Thanks for sharing and commenting.
You do you G-DOG, you do you. 🖤
I don't know about others, but in this world full of cheats and trickery, it's easy to fall into the class of dishonest men, and then seek refuge behind corrupt endeavors.
Honesty and trust right now are at the top of my list, because such traits are going extinct as we "progress" ahead. A person who posses these traits and such values alone, are instantly ranked highly in my list of friends and acquaintances. People really should start valuing such traits, especially if they want to survive in this wretched world; because if not, then everything they have and care for, will one day be stripped away from them, simply cease to exist.
Societies' progress is right down the drain and there's no indication it's slowing or that enough is being done to reverse it. People can't seem to stand apart, to take a stand and do something different.
Well, that's not where I want to be (down the drain) so I uphold my values and do something different. Always have.
And that's how it should be. 💪
Pffft.
Lol...It's actually true. I'm just me. But come on man, back when I was three...all dem ladies be like swooning.
Look at you!!! :) I almost missed out on the baby G-Dog!
Hey, I gotta be me, who else can I be?? It is too much effort to pretend you are something that you are not, isn't it?
I don't know who you ran into, but it seems she was fairly important enough to warrant a post. Shhh. Don't answer. Guessing is way moe fun.
Hi, Galen!
Swigles, it's been a while. Good to hear from you.
So yeah, the little me was a bit cute I guess although as time progressed things declined quite rapidly to this point and I'm left with the debacle that is me.
Ok, maybe it's not all that bad, but my cute days have been left well behind me I'm afraid. 🤣
P.s. I run into a lot of people...But if I see most of them in time I duck for cover. Some I'm happy to run into though, but that chance encounter is often by design. 😉
The kids and I spent a lot of time getting some hiking and the peak color in the mountains. I got a later start than I thought I would and stayed longer than I should have, BUT it was really nice and I am glad I ran away from home for a few. I actually have a ten-day trip I have to make in about ten days.
It was a cute picture. :) We all get less cutsie and grow into a mature version of it. I can only imagine the ridicule you would get if you still looked like that with a man's body.
Oh, the decline. I'm aware. I think it might be all downhill from here. I won't give up without a fight. ;)
Hiking is always good. I've not been able to do much to be honest the weather is bloody terrible, especially considering we're in =to November. They say we can expect this rain and stuff all the way to Christmas which is very odd. I'll get some done though, maybe this weekend.
You're off for ten in ten? That sounds nice; I'm sure it's well-deserved.
I wouldn't want to hike this trail in the rain or ice, although people do. I have hiked in the rain, but, not the constant rain, rain, rain, and then sloppy mud. I would do it if I am there, but, I probably wouldn't choose to drive three or more hours thinking about the wet before I get there.
I know! What a baby. :)
Some stuff is ok to do in the rain and others are not; it's wise to know which is which. I've operated in the rain a lot although it's mostly been in tropical regions so it's not been overly cold. It can be miserable though.
Best to stay indoors with Devonshire tea when it's cold and raining. 😊
:) As long as there is hot tea, I am in.
Hi, Galen!! It is always good to see YOU!
You're s cute back then :)
By the way, I really adore you for being real and having such great personalities that makes you the best version of yourself.
Thank you for sharing this, I just realized to live the life that I want to no matter how others drag me down. I am inspired and feel motivated to strive more.
Yeah...and now...well, I don't know what happened but it all went bad.
What a nice thing to read. Thank you, I appreciate it.
You're welcome, I'm pleased that you can take something away that you feel will help you.
You know, it is a lovely thing to breakdown one's life skills into a list. I have children and I have not thought to specifically breakdown what I have to pass on. That said, actually passing those things on - finding the time, dealing with obstinance, expectations, vastly different personalities and interests - is rather tricky.
As a non-parent, and one probably totally unsuited to the task, I want to agree with you completely but, of course, have no right to the perspective of a parent (not as a parent I mean, as someone's child I am able to have a perspective right?). I think it would be incredibly difficult to find the time, space, energy and right way to impart those skills an the knowledge. I think the lead by example thing might be a good way though right?
It's a long list for me and there's some interesting things on there I guess. But there's a core list with some of those things being listed above. We're all complex people and simple all at the same time, depending on the angle. I like my list though however I've left many of the really good ones off.
Yes, lead by example is mainly what we have to rely on. That too is tricky sometimes. "You should eat an apple for a snack." As I shove a whole cookie in my mouth.
Do as I say, not as I do.
That's a thing right?
First of all, I didn't know you had no children. I'm very surprised cause I thought of someone like you who's very thoughtful and packed with seriousness in life, you may have one. Anyway, I love the fact that you hold this integrity and are true to yourself regardless of what people would say and think of you. Though there are times that I was affected by others, most of the time, I filtered what I need to listen to. You know, there is power in filtering people and people's perceptions of you.
If others cannot deal with you, then most probably they don't deserve to have you. A little mindset of mine.
It just never happened for me mate, and whilst it's meant I've been able to do so many other things without the responsibility of a child to worry over I've missed out on a lot. It is, as I said, my biggest regret as I believe I would have made a good parent. Some may disagree though, and that's their prerogative.
I can be no other way. To do so would be to lie to myself and I don't do that.
Indeed. Some of what people say about us is completely irrelevant. Of course, there's many lessons to be learned from others observations of us and I think the trick is in knowing which is which.
This simple phrase is remarkable and very poignant indeed. Well said mate.
Mono e mono on gray areas and kids. Gray areas especially, everything's always gas pedal or brakes.
Cats and dogs, we're still worlds apart. = }
That's a good way to put it . Gas pedels and brakes.
Looks like you got one downvote. Must be someone who doesn't like Ownership. Consistency. Effort. Discipline. Honour. Respect. Manners. Courage. Sacrifice. Responsibility. Integrity. Steadfastness. Love. Truth. Caring. Thought. Action. Determination. Resoluteness. Persistence. Generosity. Forgiveness. Passion. Failure. Humour. Understanding. Kindness. Empathy. Innovation. Resilience. Bravery.
Lol...I hadn't noticed before but yeah, I see it now. Life will go on.
That's the most important thing among the flaws in our lives, I guess, that is we are who are and we aren't doing anything wrong in the community.
We need to be true to ourselves because if we cannot be, then we're unlikely to be true to anyone else.
glad to know you are you. I am sometimes confused in who I really am by pleasing everyone around me, LOls
Many people do this, however I believe it's ourselves we need to answer to and if we can get that right others will respond.
THANKS FOR THIS WISDOM POST. BY THE WAY, THE LITTLE YOU LOOKS CUTE.
You're welcome, and thanks for the compliment on the little me.
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