I can relate to the feeling of wanting some time to yourself, but struggling to find it. It sounds like you are at a crossroads in your life and trying to figure out what the next step is for you and your family.
My best advice to you is to take some time for yourself, even if it's just a few moments here and there. Self-care and self-reflection are crucial for growth and finding direction. It's also important to remember that change can be difficult, but it can also bring new opportunities and growth.
I would also suggest that you try to explore your thoughts and feelings through journaling or talking to a therapist or counselor. It can be helpful to have an objective person to talk to and help you process your thoughts and feelings.
You mentioned that you are considering traveling to get away and look at your life and where you want to be headed with your girls. I think that's a great idea, and it can be a wonderful opportunity to gain perspective, new experiences, and to bond with your family, but I understand that there's a lot to consider before "uprooting" or "shaking things up" like that, when you have children to look out for.
One alternative that doesn't require quite as much "risk", especially regarding your girls, is to try to approach your daily routine(s) differently. You can start small, like changing your morning routine, or taking on a new project. You might be surprised by how big of a difference even small steps can make in your life. Remember, change is not always easy, but it is necessary for growth.
However you choose to go forward, I wish you all the best as you navigate this journey.
Yes I am trying to take time for myself, so that i can really sit with my thoughts and think clearly. Thank you @jamesbrown.
Yes starting out slowly and with less risk is really important. Thank you for your words and support xxxx