Distance Helped Me Grow (DWOTWS1R3)

in Self Improvement2 months ago (edited)

September 27, 2022

"Change and growth take place when a person risks himself and dares to become involved with his own life."
Herbert A. Otto

An ordinary person with a goalless, mundane, unexciting life, and an introverted personality. That's how I could define myself many years ago. I have a lot of dreams and goals, but less motivation and encouragement to pursue them. I was unafraid to leave my cocoon to step into a beehive. I was hesitant and don't always have a sole decision as I always seek other people's approval before doing anything else.

I seemed to have no control over my life, and just followed the path made by others. I couldn't seem to grow well or do things that my heart desired. I felt like my life just revolved around one place, and just moved for the sake of others, not for myself. I felt like I couldn't navigate my own boat.


My life seemed unfair as I couldn't get what I truly wanted. I felt stagnant and not growing. And looking at people I once shared my life with, my old friends and previous colleagues, they seemed to have achieved the ideal life they aimed for. They seemed to be successful in the field they have chosen.

Yes, at an early age, I became independent living away from home. A few years after I became an adult, I started counting my own money in my hands from the fruit of my labor. Yet, I seemed to have not achieved anything else despite getting the material things that I once wanted. I felt unsatisfied because they weren't what I truly aimed for.

I wanted to grow as a real person, and navigate my own life. I wanted to stand on my own, and control my own decisions. I wanted to pursue my goals, and make more dreams. I wanted real freedom, and to live the life that I wanted.

Until I mustered my courage to stepped out of my cocoon to beehive. I ventured into the risky world, the real world, and welcome the possibilities and opportunities that may come along my way. And I was determined to face all the unforeseen circumstances for the sake of my dreams.


Three years before I turned thirty, I traveled eight hundred miles away from home to look for greener pastures, to attain the life in my dreams, pursue my goals, and achieve real freedom.

I was looking for greener pastures, but that wasn't what I got.

New place, new people, new life, new challenges.

I thought things would be easier to deal with since I've been through a lot of storms in my homeland. But no, I was wrong. Aside from the overwhelming amount of work on my plate, the bumps and hiccups were constantly coming.

Storms seemed endless, and when I thought it was the end, there came another one. Sometimes they would arrive at the same place at the same time, making it difficult for me to deal with.

My journey abroad has been filled with bumpy roads, and only Him knows well how many times I fall. I had a lot of wounds that take time to heal, and each scar in my body has a story to tell and lessons learned.

Others think I have a better life abroad. It's always a misconception. A toxic job, toxic life, responsibilities, and burdens seemed to grow as I grew, and they don't consider that. Anxiety and depression always pay a visit, even though I don't want to.


They didn't know that I'd been through a lot of dark days. No one else listened to my emotions and feelings but me, alone. No one cares as they thought I am okay because of those upward curves they were seeing on my lips.

Unbeknownst to them, I battled with the monster in my mind alone, and get through it alone. That's the toughest part of being alone away from home. I have to deal with things by myself as no one was there to lend a helping hand. Not even those who are near me. No one cared. No one asked if I need help.

The farther the distance I get, the more obstacles are hampering the way that I need to withstand. Struggles become as high as the mountain. And a weak one would definitely go crazy dealing with them. So oftentimes, I just want to be back in the comfort of my home.

"I chose this path. And so I need to deal with it alone, regardless of the consequences." That's what I always remind myself of when I seem to give up.

However, above all the struggles I faced were lessons learned that helped me grow as a person. Just like what they said,

If you're not struggling, you're not growing.

Created in Canva

It's pretty easy to just stay where we are comfortable, but I learned that the more we are stagnant in one place, the lesser things we learn, and the longer the time we need to grow, not physically but as a whole person.

So being in a distant part of the world from my comfort zone helped me see life, things, and the world from different perspectives. I may have a lot of failures, and I got wounds, and more scars, but I am certain that I become stronger than before, and no storms of life can easily take me down.

It's been half a decade and counting. I never thought that a once timid, lack of confidence, undetermined, and a goalless person could come this far. Those experiences reminded me that life isn't just about joy and comfort, but more likely struggles that would test our resilience and perseverance, and allow us to learn how to deal with them.

I can probably say that it was worth it to take the risk. It's not the end of the journey. It will not end soon either. So expected challenges will come at any time. I just need to keep sailing. And hopefully, two years from now, I could go farther probably six thousand miles away from my home country. It will be another achievement if it happens.

This is my entry to #Dreem-WOTW S1R3 initiated by @samsmith1971 with the topic, "Distant." And since this isn't a fiction story, I thought it would be better to post it to this community. I hope Galenkp and other admins wouldn't mind.

(All photos are mine)




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This was so raw and poignant, Jane. A wonderful entry to dreem-wotw. I think a lot of us are finding ourselves at this juncture where we feel the need to go inward and unpack all the hard stuff in our lives. I happen to think that you are an incredible woman and I love reading your thoughts as they are shared through your blog. I am a South African, living in the UK for 21 years now. Moving away from one's place of birth, away from parents, family, and friends is one of the hardest things I ever did. I don't deny it brought me many blessings, but the separation and distance brought me much pain and regret too. So I hear you and I feel you. I am grateful that I had my husband and sister around; it made it easier I am sure. I do hope you will be joining in on the #speekpeece challenge for this month. I think it will be a cathartic healing process for all involved. !LUV !LADY

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Thank you..that's how we grow anyway, when we stand on our own without any support from parents . we strive to become.better..
I haven't checked it yet.. Thanks for the reminder..

Until we are not called upon by our true conscience, the materialistic desires are of no help. We get so much busy that we often ignore this voice. I am happy that you listened to it an such an early age. Sometimes people even don't get it until they are on their death bed but then it's too late.

Thank you.. I guess that's because fate didn't give me a choice 😅.. as a breadwinner of the family, I need to be independent at a young age and do things I didn't expect I could do..

As inspiring one, where I could also see myself to a far distance to grow, look for things and becomes something else, I always look at your views, it's true that somehow comes the time where it will our choice to distant for us to grow. Coming to me in the next chapter of my life.

Are making a move na for the next chapter of your life? I am excited to see a better you...because I know you will succeed 😊..

Experience has taught us many things and will continue to teach us, Jane.
Stepping out of our comfort zone will fast forward that experience.
We need it though, to grow, to mature.
It's fortunate that for every struggle life throws at us, we learn and we triumphed.
Let's continue to fight life's battles, strong and proud! Laban lang!

Thanks !LADY
Ganun talaga buhay, need lumaban.. Basta walang sukuan 😊

New place, new people, new life, new challenges.

and new perspective.

Yup.that's the new one..

You have successfully inspired me with this post. I can see how you have battled with many challenges, fallen and still got up to keep sailing. Though it's not the end yet for you, God will make things easier for you and me.
Keep going, Ate 🤩😍

Of course,. We just need to trust the process . thanks Princess 😊 !LADY

Sure. That is the best thing for us. Thanks for the token too 😘

It's good you wanted to grow but comparing yourself to your friend who already have the life they aim for is only hurting you abd making you feel less of yourself.

Sometimes change of environment makes us feel better and like you said 2 years from now will definitely be good and better

Hopefully.. Is still uncertain about that

Sure, i wish everything works out as planned for you

Great one sis,

I can probably say that it was worth it to take the risk. It's not the end of the journey. It will not end soon either. So expected challenges will come at any time. I just need to keep sailing. And hopefully, two years from now, I could go farther probably six thousand miles away from my home country. It will be another achievement if it happens

This is indeed motivating, expect challenges any time ✌️

Thank you

Well done on following your path Jane. Soon it will be 10 and then 15 years as an expat. I'm looking forward to seeing you following and achieving your goals. You can achieve so much in that space of time!

Thank you... I hope so..in God's will.. !CTP

I have faith in you!

Yay! 🤗
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Distance will make us grow talaga but still with effort pa din. I also travel the not so far place before but I only do nothing in it so growth never happened. If we want to grow nasa atin yon if how we want to grow ourselves. Sana ma apply ko to kay self, huehue

Madam , you have a lot of time and less responsibilities . kung ako tlga ikae, magtatravel2 ako..may pera ka din from blogging..bka pagsisihan mo sa huli kung jan ka lang lage

The best growth happens outside our comfort zone and I can attest to that :) You're one determined !LADY who does it all despite challenges that she faces. Give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate being YOU :)

Hi, @jane1289 ,

It's good to learn of your progress.

I agree that distance from your home can offer great opportunities for learning, growing, and maturing.

Wishing you well in your future adventures!



Thank you so much for your comment and votes 😊 !PIZZA

You are an inspiration to everyone sis. Perhaps it is a matter of being far away from our comfort zone. We will not grow if we are not becoming distant from it. I see you as a resilient woman who dares to stay away even from the ones she love to reach for her dreams and ambitions in life. Surely, when time comes that you have achieved all your goals, you’ll end up saying, “Everything was worth it.”

I find your story very interesting and you are always having a well-written content. Sending love from a distance. Have a wonderful night sis and may the angels guard you as you sleep. Loves!

We won't grow until we learn to stand on our own... And it's not until we fall that we fly .
Thanks for your wonderful comment !LADY.. !CTP

The pleasure is mine sis. Continue chasing your dreams and I wish you all the best. God bless


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This touching and inspiring Jane🥺. We all want a better life and we inspire for greater things in life,challenges will come,but giving up shouldn’t be an option. keep being strong Jane. Sending love🥰🥰❤️

Thank you 😊

Being away from home , can be quiet a lot of task and stress, but it also beneficial too. Cause we tend to grow while facing a lot of hurdles.
Great post
Dreemport brought me here

Thanks for stopping by

you are welcome

It sounds as if you were never truly an unmotivated person without goals, perhaps you just weren't ready to take the leap you needed to yet... People are like the vines of wine grapes imo- we flourish and grow under adversity haha! It sounds as if you faced those challenges with grace and an open heart, to find your path to happiness in adventure :)

Distance has a lot of value and lessons to impart, I enjoyed reading your take on wotw @jane1289 thanks for sharing :)

Thank you, albeit late notice...
I remembered this saying, "It's not until we fall that we fly." It's the same when we say, it's not until we travel far that we learn to stand on our own and grow


I love how you've shown the d-wotw from such a unique perspective bringing in your own experiences. It sounds like you're a very strong and capable woman who has chosen the path less travelled.

I came in via Dreemport. 💛

Wow, you are doing really well dear. Your interpretation of the theme is beautiful. I really do hope you achieve your goals in the next two years.

Thank you

You are welcome dear, it's my pleasure 🥰.

A replica of what's transpiring in my life right now🥺🥺, anyhoo I am not allowing those little problems take a tour on my soul. Sometimes, it's more resistance and mostly distance tell the story of all the trials and challenges .

That's right.. Never let any trial put you down. Wherever you are, just have faith and dream high 😊