I'm paddling at my local surf break, relishing the bump in the swell size and picking off the larger waves in the set, happy as a fish in water as it were. Except for Gary, who disturbs my energy field every time he appears in my field of vision.
Gary had proved himself to be a Big Twat a few weeks back. He had a go at me for snaking him, or unethically stealing his waves, which I wasn't (everyone agreed). I was trying to be compassionate but the guy isn't a great paddler. He was missing everything he went for, so I'd take them. I was getting a lot of waves, and that must have been frustrating as heck for him.
I'm a big believer in trying to understand why people act like Big Twats. A little compassion can help you not be so bloody annoyed, and can help the person who is struggling too, changing their behaviour with kindness.
But kindness hadn't worked on our man Gary. And when he went for me, I wasn't standing for it, and roared at him, because I was not having anyone muscle me around when it wasnt my fault. So yeah, bad juju in the water.
Cut a few weeks later, and me and Gary aren't making eye contact. He's still struggling - I watch him paddle for these beautiful waves and he misses them, because he's not far forward enough. It's a hard thing, when you're learning, to find the sweet spot. I hear a huge farkkkkkk bellow across the water.
Ugh, there goes my compassion again. I'm willing my enemy to paddle harder and get a wave. Internally I'm thinking: go, Gazza!. Yet I am refusing to engage, still carrying around this anger for his Big Twat behaviour last weekend.
But don't I know better? Why am I paddling that shit around? Isn't it just spoiling my surf, to be so conscious of ignoring the guy because I'm mad at him for poor behaviour a few weeks ago? Aren't I a big believer in second chances and letting bygones be bygones and understanding and stuff? I'm too old to be grumpy, surely?
The next time I paddle past Gary I turn and smile. 'Morning', I say loudly, not to be missed over the fray. 'Nice waves. Getting a few?'. I do sound a little passive aggressive but I don't mean to be. I hope he doesn't hear it that way. I'm too old to be a Big Twat.
He turns and smiles. He knows exactly who I am - there's no mistaking me and my board. 'Yeah mate, had a great surf! Got a few, gonna paddle in happy!'.
'Oh great!' I return, genuinely pleased for the Big Twat. But he's not anymore, he's just a guy enjoying the waves with me. The energy shifts.
Gary paddles for a beautiful wave and I'm hooting as he takes off, fumbling to his feet awkwardly on his vintage board.
"Yewwwww Garry' I grin, genuinely happy for the man.
Amazing what letting shit go does. It's worth giving it a try.
**Gary is a fictional name to protect the identity of Gary.
With Love,
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I like the image of dropping my shit like a soggy towel on the bathroom floor and kicking it aside.
Yup - you DO got to drop the energy of others that somehow imprints us. You DO have to keep the compassion, but with some limits.
And you DO got to keep catching the waves that call your name.... Gary or no Gary.
What is it with Garys? THey are such grumpy twats!
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Ahhhhh...
That feeling when it all changes. What a relief!
Yeah, and I'm glad I made the effort...
Sometimes
I
wish it wasn't always me
that has to make the effort.
:^)
Gary the Snail, in Spongebob, is pretty ...
Pretty what?
Not sure why I used dots instead of writing 'cute'
I guess it's easier to sympathize with a (water)snail than with this guy but you managed to turn things around, anyway :^)
I am glad you were able to turn this around. Hope you did as well with the waves...
Yeah, got tons. I always do despite the occasional Gary.
The pictures are beautiful! I love it.
Thanks!
Haha, reading this makes me smile. Very well written 🙂 I wasn't familiar with the expression 'snaking', I always learn something new from you 🙂 Glad things turned around.
xx
Ha, yeah, it's when you have priority for a wave and someone paddles around and gets it on you.
Sorry, I'll catch up with your blog soon - been flat out and have houseguests, so struggling to keep up here at the moment! Hope you are well!
Glad the Gary story had a happy ending. Surf pictures are awesome. Who can have a bad day on the waves?
I've diffused a lot of tense situation over the years... mostly because I'm the kind of idiot that gets into a lot of tense situations 🤦♂️
Haha yeah I do too. I don't know how it happens. Probably just from being a human and interacting with other humans. Diffussion skills are skills indeed!
!LUV this! So much.
@consciouscat(5/5) gave you LUV.
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