Seems pretty quiet tonight - I wonder what everyone is up to?
My new job starts on Monday (and finishing up my old for the next month as well) and since I took an extra week off, I was hoping to get a bit of "me time" this week to mentally prepare, but my daughter has been ill, so I have been with her day and night. She isn't that sick, but she is struggling to sleep and during the days, she of course doesn't want to be alone - and my wife is working.
You know, sometimes I feel like the world is against me, but I know that this is probably the case for everyone much of the time and, the world doesn't care about any of us, - it just does it's thing. Fairness doesn't come into it and, there are no favorites. Some are lucky, some are not. Some like cats always land on their feet, some like buttered bread dropped, always land face down.
I am not sure which I am - but I have taken a few faceplants in my day.
But, I don't feel especially unlucky, though before I started writing this I was thinking a little about my life gone and there aren't many people who would want to trade places, if they had to take it in its entirety. It is a funny thing though, as when we evaluate someone's life we cherry-pick pieces in order to make our judgements for or against and forget, that is never the whole story.
Life is far too complex for that and often when we make a judgement we overweigh the things we want but are lacking and they have. Based on that single data point, we think about how good it would be to be in their shoes. I'd predict that the reality is that most people are quite similarly happy and unhappy, with it depending more on personality disposition than life circumstances. For many, no matter what they have they will be unhappy, whereas for a few, no matter how hard their lives may be, they are happy.
I think I used to be the optimistic dreamer in life, but I don't feel that is my thing now, as I am far more negative, which at times might be a bit of a mood killer for many people. I am not the life of the party, I am the voice that no one at the party wants to hear. Well, that is not completely true, but I think quite a few people do think that about me, if they don't know me well enough that is.
But, in the current world that I feel I am not suited for, I don't really find that much socially to celebrate anymore. I am a very social person, but I have become far more withdrawn and it isn't just because of the lockdowns, it is because of how people have reacted to them. With many of my friends, I just don't fit in anymore because they have bought heavily into the public narrative surrounding all of this and, I just haven't. While I can avoid talking about it and keep my opinions to myself, because they are so invested, they want to talk about it but from the perspective that they are right. This is natural of course, but there is a "religious zeal" in their words and actions that make me combative, so it is better that I stay away.
Like all things, nothing lasts forever and because I value the relationships I have, I am not going to burn them because of government policy. But, I am not going to go along to get along either, so the best chance of keeping them intact post-panic, is to social distance. I suspect that I will still lose some and some may weaken the longer this bears on, but I am confident that most will be salvageable once the fear subsides.
Fear is the most powerful control mechanism and we have built a society that runs heavily on it, with any individual who steps out of line, getting punished by the group - Even if they don't understand why they are punishing them.
There are so many experiments that show how we are prone to social group opinion and that if someone in authority tells us to do something, we are likely to do it unquestionably. It is the "I just work here" mentality.
When there is uncertainty, confusion, fear and punishment for non-compliance, people are far more likely to fall into step and tow the party line to avoid negative consequence, even of not in agreeance. It is better to be wrong as a member of the group, than right as an outcast. I could very well be wrong - but that is on my head - I will rather take the beating than succumb to group pressure to do something that I do not believe in. I don't know how far I can take it of course as everyone has limits, but I am nowhere near mine yet - I will keep climbing that ladder.
But, I don't blame anyone for making a different choice than me, nor do I necessarily think that they are wrong to make it, but it just isn't the choice I would make for myself. I am not them, I do not know their history, I don't have their knowledge, disposition or whatever motivations they may have - I cannot be in their shoes, and it is nonsense to believe that we can emphasize with each other in my opinion. Compassion is far more useful and I can be compassionate - even when I disagree. It seems though, not many can these days - it is all about taking sides and scoring points against the enemy - symptoms of a dysfunctional social group - like the actions of ex-partners going through a bitter divorce.
I suspect that the pandemic itself isn't going to last much longer, but the ramifications of how it was handled will impact us for many years to come. One of those consequences is going to be a further fracturing of previously tight-knit social groups along imaginary lines, where they have been pitted against each other and led to believe that they are completely different from one another. People who used to be so close earlier, can no longer be civil to each other, out of externally introduced fear.
But, there will be many other issues as well, so while we are all trying to manage the best we can, we will lose sight of the people and relationships that are the most important to us and, the control mechanism wills tighten their grip on us as individuals, by loosening the bonds that collect us as a group.
In another life, those five monkeys could have been friends with a banana to share.
A life that wasn't engineered.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I am going to guess that video was the one with the new monkey getting the crap beat out of him because he was hungry. A few people understand the phrase You have nothing to fear but fear itself I may not have the words exactly right, but it seems there are fewer and fewer of those people.
It is always one thing or another, the mad cow scare and anthrax scare, the makers of Duct Tape sure scored big with that one. The mass stupidity has only grown in society.
I am still an optimist, but like you I am finding a lot of stuff to be negative about, but I keep trying to float above it all. Holding my tongue though is getting harder and harder, but friendships and relationships need to be bent, but the reality is some are at the breaking point. Hopefully we do not hit the breaking point, and recovery can occur and people laugh at their folly, like all the stocking up the the Y2K meltdown of society.
It did seem to be a bit quiet this morning and afternoon, for myself I learned a little more about Linux Mint. I've put my Raspberry Pi back into safe keeping and am working on learning how to use another new system.
Sounds like smallsteps is doing good, I wish her a speedy recovery so next week everything can really start for the New Year.
I feel like people don't think that much anymore, they take the words, but don't turn them over in their mind for long enough to really onboard the meaning.
I feel the same - I bite my tongue nearly everywhere I go now, often at home too (though less than my wife would like)
I am jealous that you can get into that tech stuff - I don't have the brains for it.
Cheers. Hopefully she can go to daycare on Monday so I can head to the office. I have so much to do, I need to hit the ground running hard.
Can you still respect them though, when all's said and done? That's where I struggle. I'll still like the people who've bought into it all, but I don't see myself respecting them any more.
I try to take a step back and understand their history. For example in Finland, most people have very little reason not to trust the Finnish government in at least recent times, but they don't recognize that the decisions being made are driven from abroad. This means that they end up consuming what they trust, believing it is trustable - making me sound like the insane conspiracy theorist. In some ways, it is like a child learning how to critically think - it takes time and experience, most people here haven't had that experience in this area. But, you are right in regards to some people - as there are a few who should know better but seem to intentionally be omitting information that they come across to keep their position intact.
Best of luck with it!
Coincidentally, today was my wife’s last day at her old job. Ten days off, then a new all-remote job for an employer 900 miles (1450 kilometers) away, with a decent pay raise.
She’s been very sporadically going into the office since the coronapocalypse hit, but now will be fully remote.
Damn, I’m I’m proud of her.
Congrats to your wife - is she excited about the new role?
I like going into the office, but I am glad I don't have to go in all the time - but the company I work for has had remote working pre-panpanic, with some people not visiting an office for a couple years :)
She’s very excited. She’s leaving a struggling company and joining a growing one.
Several interesting points here i'd like to reply to but I'm about to head out for a bit so here's one:
I think this is fine. TBH, being an optimistic dreamer can be pretty toxic to your own evolution, but more importantly, I can't stand those faux-optimistic people who have no concept or need for empathy, drawing lines at sympathy only.
Being negative and accepting the darkness in your world is extremely healthy. Sure, it's not great at parties, but if I could purchase a get-out-of-parties-free card with lifelong subscription, i'd happily dedicate 75% of my income to ownership of it!
Sympathy is useless.... But I think empathy can be too, as people think they are "in another's shoes" which is impossible. I reckon compassion matters though, as it is an active form - seeing someone in need, helping them, regardless whether you are able to connect with them emotionally.
You don't like parties? :D
The reason its a requirement to snort cocaine or get pissed is precisely because parties suck. Without getting drunk or high, what is a party? A bunch of people standing or sitting around trying to think of ways to come across as likeable to each other.
I mostly just don't like being expected and pressured to like and attend parties. If you are so blasphemous to simply not like this particular past time, you're weird or a loser. Well, call me Mr Weirdloser then =) Meanwhile, I'll be learning new board games with my friends =)
You go to better parties than me... Though drinking is common here.
I dunno, not that there are many parties at my age, but back in the day they were a great way to meet new people through extended friend circles. Also, since I also once upon a time danced salsa, the dance parties were awesome.
Depends on the group perhaps.
I never got into the sit around drinking and listen to Nirvana thing in my teens, but I didn't mind the odd rave.
Well I don't go to them haha. But yeah if you like dancing then that's another thing entirely I suppose, equating to actually doing something you enjoy, rather than standing around pretending you enjoy. I realise lately I'm not too keen on creating more versions of myself for the sake of others. But that's a topic for another day!
You can basically write about anything and I will still relate in my own way. This piece made me feel worthy of being the outcast I am. And for that, I am thankful.
I have noticed that I am at a place where branching my way is easier than fighting to stay in harmful spaces. Harmful in a way that my inner man feels oppressed by the remarks flying around or by the exchange of words forcing him to hold his breath.
Age definitely does irreversible things to a soul!
It is good to accept being an outcast, makes loneliness easier. :)
There are so many places these days that we are forced to suppress ourselves, it is hard to find anywhere we are able to just speak our mind and heart - it is going to lead to a lot of misery and violence.
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 23/83) Liquid rewards.
Thank you!
It amazes me how intolerant the "tolerant" are. I am also dismayed at how hell-bent certain people are, and in leadership positions no less, to polarize us against each other. People are so easily cowed and brainwashed it is down right scary. Opinions can no longer be freely expressed because of cancel culture and new "truths" that people would have you accept as gospel. I live in the thick of it right now, and it is dumbfounding watching it in real life. Limiting time on FB and other social media helps. It is hard to bite my tongue when I see friends expressing certain feelings and outrages. I am hoping this will be winding down with newer variants that are more mild.
The tolerant these days are only so, when they can do it from the comfort of behind the screen when they are known, and then become intolerant when they feel they are hidden, or protected by the group.
Social point scoring - we do it to ourselves, so we will accept it being applied as a metric to control us by an authority.
For sure. I am only on Hive :)
All countries have different pasts. Hopefully this will become history for all of us and will not be repeated because humans have a family and feelings. actually fellow human beings help and love each other regardless of race and culture. Let's respect each other and love. never sacrifice human life for political interests, only Allah knows
I think we think that "the world is against me" because it's much more comforting to the ego to think that you're that important and special and talented that literally everyone and everything is out to make you specifically fail, than to realise that "the world doesn't give a toss" because in the end the only people who care about you personally are the people who care about you personally XD
And probably reframe all their memories so that they were always approaching things from a cautious and moderate perspective and never with the full on religious zeal that they were actually exhibiting?
Have you ever been met with a pure rage tantrum when you've prodded someone to actually think about this? It's quite headache inducing.
Some of us are more likely to not do it specifically because we got told to, with increased resistance if it was someone in authority x_x
apparently it is an actual brain glitch compulsion but occasionally we have legitimate reasons too XD
Small getting better or did the annoying thing happen where she recovered/was recovering from something and something else happened?
Exactly. It is definitely egotistical, but hey, we are the center of our own universe! :D
When people look back at how they behaved, they will white-wash over their poor and justify it away as the norm.
I have often been met with tantrums - I annoy people no end....
For better or worse. I don't like being told what to do... for better and worse.
She is recovering, but there is something else that requires some "checking into" with the doctor. Nothing serious.
It's normal to not like doing what you're told, I don't know if it's quite as okay to feel very much compelled to not do as you're told for no other reason than you got told to do it, even when it's completely reassonable or something you like/would do anyway XD
Glad you said it was nothing serious, even when it's nothing serious I tend to automatically O_O when there's medics involved.
Interesting video. No I am not one who bows to peer pressure and I cannot be socially shamed. I too take the beatings and tend to go it alone. I do not need approval in what I do or believe and yes... It is so easy to see past the lies and conditioning agenda.
It isn't easy to go against the grain, especially when you respect the people you are going against....
the barrel war was a silent witness between Chinese immigrants and local residents at that time, which made this city a ghost town very scary to hear your story about the city of the dead. who had been abandoned by Chinese immigrants. I really like ghost stories. in my village also has a house that was left by its inhabitants. now this house has become a scary and scary house, everyone who passes by the house will get goosebumps,, heeeee it's scary.....my village Indonesia (Aceh). your story is very good i like it. thank you
Congrats!
Regarding pandemic: people are panicking too much IMHO. I believe right now in europe most people already been in contact with the virus, vaccinated or not. it is time to start living again, not hiding from new variants.
I dont remember anyone hiding from new flu🤔
I always know the value of being happy from even smaller things, events. However, I can say that I am not as happy as I was in past although I have much more better conditions today.
I believe that we are not being very social as the time passes. Everybody draws their own way in life, therefore those ways seperate from each other.
If talk about religion, I have put a line between me and some of my friends who have a religious zeal. Unlike, we were very good friends in our chilhoods.
Time determines everything in life, I believe so.
Hi Taraz,
First of all, I hope the new job is off to a great start!
I wanted to ask you for your support and vote on the @pizza.witness Witness run by @hivetrending and I. Our team (and our community) are working tremendously hard to create more awareness for the HIVE blockchain through various things such as but not limited to:
Please let me know if you have any questions and thank you for reading and for the consideration!