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This means that children or family members cannot reliably predict how a mother with BPD will act next, leading to feelings of insecurity and terror. It’s akin to living through a perpetual horror movie where the rules are unpredictable, and safety feels elusive.
The Inner Child and Familial Messaging
Children raised by mothers with BPD often grow up internalizing messages of worthlessness, failure, and disappointment. The mother’s unpredictable and often harsh behavior sets a stage where a child might conclude that they are the problem — that their flaws or mistakes cause the chaos. The alternative—that the mother herself is dysfunctional—is too terrifying to accept, especially since a child's survival depends on their caregiver.