Part 4/7:
A distinctive feature of BPD is the presence of twin anxieties—two mutually exclusive fears that coexist and shape relational behavior. On one side, individuals with BPD are terrified of abandonment and rejection. They crave closeness but are also deeply afraid of being engulfed or consumed by intimacy. This leads to separation insecurity, where the very act of forming close bonds can trigger fear and withdrawal.
Conversely, when intimacy is actually offered or established, the individual may run away, overwhelmed by the fear of losing themselves or being overwhelmed by love. These contradictory fears are at the heart of the approach-avoidance cycle and underscore the intense relational instability typical of BPD.