What changed once you had a family?
There was someone else who could do all the stuff I was barely keeping on top of (but which had to be kept on top of when adulting, like maintaining a stable income and budgeting and groceries and bills and whatnot) much more efficiently.
Now I'm just barely keeping on top of the child wrangling (which at this stage compromises entirely of being aware of where everyone is right this second and where they need to be at any given point in the future).
Disjointed is normal and expected, and I'm not surprised you feel guilty but it is a waste of brainspace in these circumstances :)
Ah - you got a secretary! ;D