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RE: LeoThread 2023-06-28 08:37

in LeoFinance2 years ago

Hello Everyone, this is a container thread that revolves around Funny jokes. I believe life’s too short to stay unhappy, so why not think Less and Laugh More?

Any interested frens, can check in to get some smiles😊

#container #FunnyJokes

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Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

#funnyjokes

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"

#funnyjokes

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

#funnyjokes

A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

#funnyjokes

PART 2,

Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

#funnyjokes

”My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.”

#funnyjokes

I bet he's now dumb with a swollen face or broken nose lol 😆

LOL
I believe so

”What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?It gets toad away”

#funnyjokes

Part 1,

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek.

#funnyjokes

Part 2,
Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes.

#funnyjokes

Part 3,

Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied.

#funnyjokes

Part 4,
"What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

The end

#funnyjokes

Im glad he found trouble 😀
Trouble can't even lay low for a minute

He got what he wants. LOL

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

#funnyjokes

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

#funnyjokes

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."

#funnyjokes

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

#funnyjokes

A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?"

He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later."

The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."

#funnyjokes

Q: Can February march?

A: No, but April may.

Hmm logic 🤔

#funnyjokes

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"

Student: "My father's check book!"

#funnyjokes

A: I’ve the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No” B: Does he drink? A: No” B: Does he come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday #funnyjokes

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.

#funnyjokes

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?

A: Microchips!

#funnyjokes

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

#funnyjokes

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

#funnyjokes

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

A: Big hands.

#funnyjokes

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world?

A: The library, because it has so many stories.

#funnyjokes

Q: What do you call a guy who’s really loud?

A: Mike.

#funnyjokes

Yo friend so stupid, he tried to save a fish from drowning.

#funnjokes

Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring." Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."

#funnyjokes

PART 1,

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey.

#funnyjokes

PART 1,
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question #funnyjokes

PART 2,

and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." #funnyjokes

PART 1,

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies.

#funnyjokes

PART 2,

After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

#funnyjokes

PART 1,

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

#funnyjokes

PART 2,

She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

#funnyjokes

A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving." The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"

#funnyjokes

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

#funnyjokes

PART 1,
A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay.

#funnyjokes

PART 2,
The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

#funnyjokes

Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?" Student: "A heart attack."

#funnyjokes

Mother: "Are you talking back to me?!"Son: "Well yeah, that's kinda how communication works."

#funnyjokes

An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill myself."

#funnyjokes

PART 1
4 men are in hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy & says, “Congratulations! You're father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins” #funnyjokes

PART 2
A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!” “That's weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

#funnyjokes

PART 3
A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets." “That's strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

#funnyjokes

PART 4
The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What's wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”

#funnyjokes

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

So a skeleton walks into the bar... tells the bartender.. "Gimme a beer... and a mop"