Common-Sense Lighter Control

in #hive-1680882 months ago (edited)

This draft legislation is hereby submitted for public comment in order to forge a stronger set of measures that ensure the public welfare.

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WHEREAS the events of the past several months have resulted in destruction of urban property and vast tracts of wilderness, it is necessary for public safety to enact legal measures that allow us to restrict access to incendiary devices.


These antique wooden single-use devices shall be grandfathered as acceptable for public use, but no one under 21 years of age shall have access to, or possess on their person, these dangerous devices under penalty of fines not less than $1,000,000 and imprisonment for not less than 5 years.

BIC-type Lighters

These disposable lighters shall only be carried by those granted a license through the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Fire. All BIC-type lighters must be registered with the local sheriff and bear a serial number registered with the manufacturer and federal government.

Zippo-type Lighters

Fully semi-automatic lighters shall not be sold to the public, and must be reserved for military and police use only. Those already in circulation must be surrendered to your local sheriff pending application for a background check and payment of a $500 assault lighter tax stamp.

Soldering and Welding Torches

These weapons of mass incineration shall be banned entirely to the public for the greater good.

Molotov Cocktails

Previous provisions notwithstanding, possession of distilled alcohol and any form of ignition source shall be deemed possession of a molotov cocktail with intent to commit arson.


Possession of pyrotechnics of any kind shall be prosecuted under anti-terror legislation.

Any objection to these common-sense measures can only be interpreted as support for anarchy.

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Pyrotechnics , .... so the Sun is a terrorist cell now ,.. all glasses are illegal anarchist devices . Go wear contact's .The atmosphere is gonna be sprayed to block out the Sun . for public safety .
Sounds great , we will be so SAVE ,... frozen and preserved ;-)

If it saves even one life...

I have seen people make fire with there bare hands and some sticks ,.... the horror !!!
So at birth all thumps and index fingers must be removed for our common public safety .
It might even better to remove all humans from the Earth so no human can loose his life by it's own stupidity , or harm others .
As i suspect some disorder from this rules i recommend some brutal governmental force form a high tech automated robotics organization , call it SkyNet or something ..... ;-)

LOLOLOL you always have the best posts

waiting for statists to appreciate their own freedom lol smh