One of the questions in the weekend engagement this week is about sharing of a loss.
My Loss
At the end of last year, I suffered badly from an autoimmune disease that left me with some loss of feeling, balance, movement and sight.
After spending a period in hospital, I have got most of my strength back. Physically I actually feel much better and my balance is probably 98% back to normal.
My vision is still not good though. I can see up close but really struggle to see anything at any distance. This has had a number of impacts on my life.
First, I obviously can't drive. I am much more reliant on others as a result.
Secondly, I struggle cross roads or walking where there are many people. Everything looks very confused to me and I have to take my time - not easy when people are rushing by.
I haven't been able to travel far by myself. I usually travel a lot for work but have been mainly working from home. Going into the office was a bit of an ordeal. Going further a field is off the cards for the moment.
I do hope that I will make a full recovery but it could take months. So what I have learnt from this loss?
What I have learnt
First of all, although I am not an overly religious man, when my health was failing really quickly in hospital, its only faith that can keep you going. The doctors had a plan but there was no real treatment and no known risk factors for what I had. Fate would seal my future. I found peace in faith.
Secondly, and its a real close second, family are everything. My family looked after me so well and they still do. If my eyesight returns and I can do all the things I used to be able to do, I will focus even more of my time in helping my family.
Finally, the other big lesson from my loss of the eyesight that I used to have is that you have to live every second to the max. YOLO!
We don't know what is around the corner, we don't know when I situation will suddenly change direction. We tend to procrastinate but don't be lazy. Cease the moment!
As a Muslim, we hear many hadith which are they saying of the Prophet Muhammed. This is one of them which I think really suits the situation of loss.
“Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your riches before your poverty, your free time before your work, and your life before your death.”
I will leave you with that to ponder.
To close off this post, let me show you what I see (sort of). The first photo is a street near my house. The below picture is more like how I see the world. Its a kind of double vision. I often see cars on the wrong side of the road. If there are 20 people walking on the sidewalk, I see 40 people. In a busy London train station its a nightmare, I just can't concentrate on all the moving images.
Look after your health. Look after your wealth. Look after your families. Look after yourself.
Tick tock.
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Holy heaven! I'm so sorry to read about your health problems. I did the same challenge, I mean wrote about Loss, but my loss and your loss can't be compared.
I can understand how insecure you feel when outside. Reading your post made me remember hen I came home from a plastic surgery and was feeling insecure. At the crosswalk I waited for another person to arrive and crossed with her, to be sure.
However, your plan and perception of your reality is admirable. You're on the right track and I wish you fast recovery and all the best in the world. I hope you can get better soon and enjoy life and family.
Hi @erikah - Thanks so much for your comment. Well, you know what, life brings challenges and the way we rise to them defines us. I hope that with the challenges I have the I can sustain my positivity and be a help to others on their own challenges in life. I am being as patient as I can with my current condition and hope that it will get better over time.
!LUV
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I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles right now. I just hope and pray that you will be fully recovered as soon as possible so that you can do normal things and, especially you can bond with your family in a normal way. Anyway, have a great day ahead my friend.
Thanks so much. I am being patient and do hope in time things will get better. It makes you appreciate what you have rather than dwell on what you have lost!
Have a good day
!wine
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!LUV
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Right, we should never lose hope as long as we're alive.
Thanks for the gift, my friend! Sending 💕