I've never been in a situation where I was so hungry I would have defined it as starving; although, there was this one time I was so hungry I could have eaten a horse and chased the rider, it had been four hours since my last meal, a whole four hours, and I couldn't find a McDonalds that was open. That's just one of the hazards of being in an unfamiliar city I suppose. Anyway, I almost starved to death but just at the last moment Colonel Sanders saved the day - there's few problems a Zinger combo from KFC can't fix.
Anyway, I've never been starving to the point of almost dying however I thought I'd have a go at one of the #weekend-engagement topics this week that asks about the choice between cannibalism and death.
Death is quite permanent, I've never known anyone to have come back from it, and I get the impression it's lights out when it happens so I think I'd chow down on some poor unsuspecting person should I be faced with death or cannibalism. [Just for the record, I have not had to do this so far and hope I don't have to.]
If I was starving and someone said, "hey, here's a human and egg toasted sandwich," it'd be difficult to resist. Sizzling, crispy human thigh, fried egg, toasted bread and maybe some ketchup on as well...sounds pretty good, or would to a starving person I think. I'd give it a go.
Should I be starving to death and someone said, "hey, here's a grilled human breast, served with a creamy mushroom sauce, avocado and a side of chargrilled carrot and broccolini," I'd probably think it was my lucky day and get right into it without even caring who's breast it was...hopefully the girl in accounting at my office, she has nice boobs.
Imagining myself in a survival situation, let's say a lifeboat in the middle of an ocean, and the bloke next to me said, "hey, fancy a human kidney and brain pie with pepper sauce and a side of fries," I'd not think twice, I'd be into it before he finished the sentence.
There's also times during the starvation process where a person still wants to follow the fine-dining rules, I'm not a savage after all, and on those occasions I'd start with a soup of celery, potato, chives and human toes then follow up with a salad of crispy human skin and mixed greens topped with fingernail croutons and a French dressing. Afterwards comes the fish course, fisherman fingers with chili aioli, and the main would be a caprese human breast gnocchi, hopefully breasts of the girl from accounting as above. Because I was starving to death I'd still have room for desert which would be ice cream and Jell-O made with human bone marrow and served with fresh seasonal berry fruits.
Yum.
Haha love it. Didn't occur to me I could add other ingredients - I just imagined spot roast thigh over a fire kinda thing.
I am a culinary genius so put a bit of thought into my delectable human delights which meant some other ingredients.
I'd not actually want to eat human if I could at all avoid it, but if I was starving a little human meatball spaghetti lavished with parmesan and sprinkled with chili flakes would sound pretty good I think. Garlic bread too of course.
Drool. What about a ragu with homemade fettuccini ?
Who doesn't love a human ragu? Not only is it tasty, but the name sounds so cool. Ragoooo. The posh people say, rargoooo.
Raaah - gu. Hold the toenails, dahhhhling. I'm watching my weight...
Lol.
I figured, why not. 😁
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Sounds legit, but one question - why not just eat the gourmet sides instead if the human? Now, reading through it again, it does sound like the well thought menu of a career cannibal, camouflaged in a "oh I'm starving"-excuse...
Yes, I knew someone would catch me out in this aspect and it's a very good question.
I suppose a person could just eat all the non-human ingredients which would negate the need for cannibalism which is probably just as well although i think this post would not have been as fun to write if I'd not added in the human-food element.
Fortunately I'm not starving and there's small chance of it happening...although there was this one time between breakfast and lunch when I was so hungry I could have eaten the ass out of a low flying duck.
Fortunately I found some cookies and ate them instead.
Eating ass can be a welcomed distraction from hunger, I guess, though I'm pretty sure that in that case, human is the normal choice.
Thank you for the explanation, I was getting somewhat scared here, though there should be enough water between us...