Self-motivation or existential stubbornness?



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Since I was very young I have always been clear about where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do, and I think that has made me a self-motivated person, even when that sense of directionality in many occasions was not the best option or decision and despite the stumbles I have had along the way, I have kept that level of motivation.

On the other hand, I have been very competitive with myself, I have always had a level of demand that leads me to strive hard to do what I do the best way I can and this I also feel has reinforced those levels of self-motivation.

When I have bad or difficult moments I tell myself “this too shall pass” and I keep trying, or walking, even if the outlook does not look favorable for me, I keep trying… in this I think I look a lot like the violinists of the titanic movie, hahahaha.

If I want to have a glass of wine, go to the movies or do anything else, it is enough with that desire or impulse I feel to carry it out, no matter if I have to do it alone, my self-motivation comes from listening to my desires and knowing that I can indulge myself in fulfilling them.

I do not know if more than self-motivation is a kind of existential stubbornness, but the truth is that I rarely let my guard down or I am unmotivated, when I have found myself in this situation, I immediately meet with people who I know will get me out of that state very quickly and help me to see the situation with another perspective. In this case, I think it has been crucial to know how to detect when I am facing these moments that put me in discouragement or demotivation.

So, although I usually move in that line of self-motivation, I also recognize that there have been times when external motivators have made me take a step forward or encourage me to do something, such as when my friends encourage me to go out or participate in an activity that was not in my plans, or when I see my friends engaged in exercise… or as I said, when despite my efforts I can fall into a state of discouragement or abandonment.

On the other hand, I must recognize that my family has been a source of motivation for me, particularly my children, who are a constant source of inspiration and motivation.

I feel that self-motivation has a lot to do with personality, perhaps it is very difficult for people who suffer from anxiety or depression, precisely because I think it implies a personal capacity to see life with optimism, to have self-confidence or a good level of self-worth, to have ambitions and the strength to face the challenges that arise when you go after them, and even to have a very clear focus on what you want, where you want to go, who you want to be with.

Are you self-motivated or driven by external motivations? Or both?

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